Saturday, September 6, 2014

I told Bradley about my bulimia.

I reached the point where I felt comfortable expressing myself to him a long time ago. He took me in and held me tight, letting me know that he was there to listen to me. I felt the sincerity and care that emanated from him, putting me at ease.

At times I go into these manic waves of sadness and pain and he's the first person I think to tell. At times I do, other times I don't. When I do, the sadness washes over me and I spill my feelings on him, followed by a wave of guilt resulting from the weight that has been on my shoulders, is now shared with him. An unnecessary weight he now carries, hence the guilt.

He says it brings him to a peace of mind that I have the confidence and trust to share these feelings with him and I believe him. I feel like our love and respect is mutual, that he genuinely cares for my well-being. However, I'm afraid that one day all of these problems are going to build-up on him and he's going to feel like I'm using him as an outlet. I'm afraid to be seen as his girlfriend with this "problem" or a collection of petty "problems".


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