Sunday, November 2, 2014

On Halloween I drove off to Washington, DC to meet my love at Union Station. Tossing a cigarette butt back, I see him smile, walking towards me in the distance. I do a casual double-handed hello and flash a big smile. "I missed you so much" I say as he kisses me hard.

A lovely night preceded. At Ann's, sitting in the parking lot, jamming and head-bangin' to El Scorcho, a white, suburban family at the stoplight stared at us in confusion/amusment. Naturally, embarrassed we put the windows down, turned the music up louder and kept going. Harder. Double chili dogs, cigarettes and weenie pictures. Back at Goucher, Bradley met Ema and the acceptance was not necessarily mutual. Bradley and I had a nice, catching up time after that... and while we laid in bed he suggested if wanted to do something. I surprised him by taking him bowling, which, like always, is a competitive and great time. I even had a winning 5 points.

We the next day we woke up around noon and made our way to Baltimore towards Red Emma's Bookstore and Coffee shop, a communist joint in the arts district of Baltimore. The pretentious atmosphere made the air sour and drive us out of the place. Not wanting to head back to Goucher just yet, Bradley suggested we stop by the Soundgarden. Per usual, we both had to pee really bad and naturally, Sofia's Crepe Shoppe was the pee-food pit stop. Duh. After peeing, Brad surprised me with an with a turkey, egg and cheese crepe (which was fucking delicious, might I add.) We browsed the Soundgarden for a while, Bradley finding some cool cassettes, and me just browsing because my retardis ass forgot my wallet.

We left Baltimore and went back to my room, where Bradley hid behind my open dresser door and surprised a shocked and elated Alex. We met Rachel and headed towards DC to see the Burgerama: Caravan of Stars show. In DC, we ran into some guy who invited us to get drinks with him at "Barcelona" (to my surprise, he was not inviting us to go to Spain) and stated he was bi and wanting to have a threesome with Alex and Rachel, who are a lesbian couple that have been together for three years and are still going strong. Thanks to Rachel and having to "change her tampon", we got away from the guy and headed back towards the Black Cat. We crossed the intersection where a few minutes earlier some guys in MIB costumes and Walmart bigs spilled a few cans of PBR, but they were no longer there (the one that was not crushed by incoming traffic.)

The show ended up being really rad, but we missed Dum Dum Girls completely due to Alex disappearing and us not being aware of his whereabouts. He ended up being kicked out of the venue because he picked up an empty beer can, who an employee was convinced that he drank (he didn't.) We got some falafel, fries and a brownie and made our trek back to Baltimore.

The cloudy night and the slow, shoe gaze and electronic tracks made the drive back a quiet one. Alex and Rachel feel asleep in the back and Brad rest his head on my shoulder as I stroked his face and kissed his head. I want to live in that moment forever. The night was an incredibly cold and windy one. We dropped Alex and Rachel off at the front of the building while Bradley and I parked back at the SRC and stayed for some time...Setting our alarm for 4:45 we found our comfortable positions and took a short nap before we had to leave.

This morning (and as I type) I couldn't help myself from crying in bed. At first I tried to keep it as quiet as possible, but then I couldn't hold it back. He said to me "don't cry" and he held me like a small child. Love makes you fucking vulnerable. At Union Station we were only together for a short time before Bradley had to board the bus. I kissed him goodbye and made my way back to school holding back my tears.

I sit here all alone. Alex is gone. Bradley is gone. School is sucking the life out of me.