Saturday, December 13, 2014

  • 007: Skyfall
  • 400 Blows
  • 8 1/2
  • 10 Things I hate about you
  • 21 Grams
  • 500 Days of Summer
  • A Single Man
  • A Swedish Love Story / En Karlekhistoria 
  • A Walk to Remember
  • Across the Universe
  • Almost Famous
  • Amelie
  • American Beauty 
  • Amores Perros
  • An Education
  • Anna Karenina
  • Anna (1967)
  • Annie Hall 
  • Au Revoir Les Enfants
  • Badlands
  • Bananas
  • Band of Outsiders
  • Battle Royale
  • Beginners
  • Black Swan
  • Blow Up
  • Blue Lagoon
  • Bonnie & Clyde (1967)
  • Borat
  • Breakfast at Tiffany’s 
  • Breathless
  • Cabaret
  • Cabin in the Woods
  • Candy
  • Catch Me If You Can
  • Celebrity
  • Chinatown 
  • Cinema Paradiso
  • Citizen Kane
  • City of God/Cidade de Deus 
  • Clueless 
  • C.R.A.Z.Y
  • Dazed & Confused
  • Diabolo Menthe / Peppermint Soda
  • Deconstructing Harry
  • Django Unchained
  • Donnie Darko 
  • Do the Right Thing
  • Dr Zhivago
  • Elefante Blanco 
  • Empire Records
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  • Europa, Europa
  • Eyes Wide Shut
  • Factory Girl
  • Farenheit 451
  • Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
  • Fight Club
  • Forrest Gump
  • Friday
  • Funny Girl
  • Gainsbourg: Vie Heroique 
  • Ghost World
  • Girl, Interrupted
  • Goodbye, Lenin!
  • Hannah and her Sisters
  • Hard Candy
  • Harry Potter 1-7 
  • Heathers
  • Hotel Rwanda
  • In Paris/Dans Paris
  • Indiana Jones 1-4
  • Inglourious Basterds 
  • Jules and Jim
  • Kids 
  • Kill Bill 1-2 
  • LOL (2008)
  • La Belle Personne
  • La Chinoise
  • La Femme Nikita
  • La Haine
  • La Piscine
  • La Rafle / The Round-Up
  • La vita e Bella
  • Le Mepris
  • Leon, the Professional
  • Les Miserables
  • Life of Pi
  • Lolita (1997) 
  • Lost in Translation 
  • Love Songs / Les Chansons d’Amour
  • Manhattan 
  • Manhattan Murder Mystery
  • Marie Antoinette
  • Masculin Femenin
  • Match Point
  • Mean Girls
  • Memoirs of a Geisha
  • Metropolis
  • Midnight in Paris
  • Mighty Aphrodite
  • Modern Times
  • Monsieur Ibrahim et les Fleurs du Coran
  • Moonrise Kingdom
  • Munich
  • Mysterious Skin
  • My Week with Marilyn
  • Natural Born Killers
  • Never Let Me Go
  • Now w wodzie / Knife in the Water
  • Paradise Now 
  • Paris, Je t’aime
  • Persepolis
  • Perks of being a Wallflower 
  • Pierrot le Fou
  • Pitch Perfect
  • Precious
  • Play It Again, Sam
  • Pretty Baby
  • Pretty in Pink
  • Psych Out
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Rebel without a Cause
  • Regular Lovers
  • Requiem for a Dream
  • Reservoir Dogs
  • Rocky
  • Romeo + Juliet
  • Rosemary’s Baby
  • Rumble Fish
  • Sarah’s Key
  • Schindler’s List
  • Silver Linings Playbook
  • Sixteen Candles
  • Slogan (1969) 
  • Slumdog Millionaire 
  • Somewhere
  • Star Wars 1-6
  • Submarine
  • Taken
  • Taxi Driver
  • The Basketball Diaries
  • The Beach (2000)
  • The Big Lebowski
  • The Breakfast Club 
  • The Dreamers
  • The Graduate
  • The Help
  • The Hunger Games
  • The Inbetweeners Movie
  • The Ketchup Effect
  • The Little Traitor 
  • The Pianist 
  • The Reader
  • The Royal Tenenbaums
  • The Shawshank Redemption
  • The Tenant
  • The Truman Show
  • The Unbereable Lightness of Being
  • The Virgin Suicides 
  • Thirteen
  • Titanic
  • Trainspotting
  • V for Vendetta
  • Valerie and her Week of Wonders
  • Valley of the Dolls
  • Vicky Cristina Barcelona
  • Waltz with Bashir
  • Wet Hot American Summer
  • Who Are You, Polly Magoo?
  • Wonderwall
  • Zabriskie Point
  • Zero Dark 30

Sunday, November 2, 2014

On Halloween I drove off to Washington, DC to meet my love at Union Station. Tossing a cigarette butt back, I see him smile, walking towards me in the distance. I do a casual double-handed hello and flash a big smile. "I missed you so much" I say as he kisses me hard.

A lovely night preceded. At Ann's, sitting in the parking lot, jamming and head-bangin' to El Scorcho, a white, suburban family at the stoplight stared at us in confusion/amusment. Naturally, embarrassed we put the windows down, turned the music up louder and kept going. Harder. Double chili dogs, cigarettes and weenie pictures. Back at Goucher, Bradley met Ema and the acceptance was not necessarily mutual. Bradley and I had a nice, catching up time after that... and while we laid in bed he suggested if wanted to do something. I surprised him by taking him bowling, which, like always, is a competitive and great time. I even had a winning 5 points.

We the next day we woke up around noon and made our way to Baltimore towards Red Emma's Bookstore and Coffee shop, a communist joint in the arts district of Baltimore. The pretentious atmosphere made the air sour and drive us out of the place. Not wanting to head back to Goucher just yet, Bradley suggested we stop by the Soundgarden. Per usual, we both had to pee really bad and naturally, Sofia's Crepe Shoppe was the pee-food pit stop. Duh. After peeing, Brad surprised me with an with a turkey, egg and cheese crepe (which was fucking delicious, might I add.) We browsed the Soundgarden for a while, Bradley finding some cool cassettes, and me just browsing because my retardis ass forgot my wallet.

We left Baltimore and went back to my room, where Bradley hid behind my open dresser door and surprised a shocked and elated Alex. We met Rachel and headed towards DC to see the Burgerama: Caravan of Stars show. In DC, we ran into some guy who invited us to get drinks with him at "Barcelona" (to my surprise, he was not inviting us to go to Spain) and stated he was bi and wanting to have a threesome with Alex and Rachel, who are a lesbian couple that have been together for three years and are still going strong. Thanks to Rachel and having to "change her tampon", we got away from the guy and headed back towards the Black Cat. We crossed the intersection where a few minutes earlier some guys in MIB costumes and Walmart bigs spilled a few cans of PBR, but they were no longer there (the one that was not crushed by incoming traffic.)

The show ended up being really rad, but we missed Dum Dum Girls completely due to Alex disappearing and us not being aware of his whereabouts. He ended up being kicked out of the venue because he picked up an empty beer can, who an employee was convinced that he drank (he didn't.) We got some falafel, fries and a brownie and made our trek back to Baltimore.

The cloudy night and the slow, shoe gaze and electronic tracks made the drive back a quiet one. Alex and Rachel feel asleep in the back and Brad rest his head on my shoulder as I stroked his face and kissed his head. I want to live in that moment forever. The night was an incredibly cold and windy one. We dropped Alex and Rachel off at the front of the building while Bradley and I parked back at the SRC and stayed for some time...Setting our alarm for 4:45 we found our comfortable positions and took a short nap before we had to leave.

This morning (and as I type) I couldn't help myself from crying in bed. At first I tried to keep it as quiet as possible, but then I couldn't hold it back. He said to me "don't cry" and he held me like a small child. Love makes you fucking vulnerable. At Union Station we were only together for a short time before Bradley had to board the bus. I kissed him goodbye and made my way back to school holding back my tears.

I sit here all alone. Alex is gone. Bradley is gone. School is sucking the life out of me.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

I'm so fucking lonely at school.

Why can't I gather the courage to go out and do something entertaining. I want the college experience, but why do I shelter myself from people. I hate myself for that.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

grindcore and hand-rolled cigarettes

The wind blows outside my window, a cold breeze to match the sheltered mask I've put on since my arrival to school. Is it apathy or a subconscious narcissism that snakes its way in my conscious that outs me above my peers, yet my existence is like the scum between the ridges of their combat leather boots. A front that reads "do not enter" is clear as day and brilliant minds alike read it like they take in the lecture of their most interesting class. Solitude and longing intimacy for the one human being that holds in his being my utmost and best side of my persona. Salty tears fall over the small pile of tobacco that is left from a brick-sized bag, a pile of cigarettes next to it and farther to the right is a darkened cell phone that has been inactive for hours, unlike my running thoughts and whimpers.

Alone and with so much love to give, but the only human being open to it has been silent for the past few hours. Hours that seem like the distance between us. 

Saturday, October 18, 2014

I'm aware that this post will be very choppy and child-like, but take it as a life update.

Falling behind in college fucks you over more than falling behind in high school. I've been in a rut lately where my eating habits aren't as good, my motivation to go to class is dwindling and due to my deep set sadness, it reflects in how I perceive my relationship, so I've begun to overthink it all. 

I feel that I annoy Bradley because I'm starting to come off as clingy or deeply-invested. I'm afraid that he will think that I am moving on too quickly, so I'll end up scaring him off. At the same time I'm afraid that our conversations may become repetitive and vapid, but then again, I just want to enjoy this and have fun. I want to be best friends, that means being stupid about things. I don't know how to handle relationships...what is right and what is wrong. I'm very very scared. 

On that note, Bradley is coming down for Halloween weekend and we're seeing Cherry Glazerr and Dum Dum Girls, so that'll be a pretty radical date! We'll see how that weekend goes. I'm planning on taking him to Gravelly Point Park in Arlignton where my parents used to take me when I was younger to watch airplanes fly overhead. I'm very excited to hold and kiss him. 

Bethany broke up with Abby. I think Abby has a thing with Kyle.

My mother told me I'm too fat for a belly button piercing, so I'm taking laxatives again and possibly dieting. Wish me the best.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Drink up baby, stay up all night
With the things you could do
You won't but you might
The potential you'll be
That you'll never see
The promises you'll only make

Drink up with me now
And forget all about
The pressure of days
Do what I say
And I'll make you okay
And drive them away
The images stuck in your head

People you've been before
That you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

Drink up baby, look at the stars
I'll kiss you again between the bars
Where I'm seeing you there
With your hands in the air
Waiting to finally be caught

Drink up one more time
And I'll make you mine
Keep you apart,
Deep in my heart
Separate from the rest,
Where I like you the best
And keep the things you forgot

The people you've been before
That you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

"That's my favorite"
"I know"

Sunday, October 5, 2014

It's Thursday night and I'm eagerly packing clothes and toiletries in my "The Fresh Market" bag, my schoolwork in my backpack and cleaning my bedroom. A swarm of ants scatters when I open my window and my heart cops a little and a knot forms in my throat. I spend the next hour and a half killing ants with perfume and plant spray and cleaning my room to leave it in perfection for the weekend ahead.

It's early Friday morning and I'm heading out to smoke a cigarette and grab some breakfast. "We're 10-15 minutes away" reads a text from Kaitlyn. I turn around to my bedroom, hang my backpack on, grab my canvas bag, struggle with a case of water and head outside. Scott sees me struggling and walks over taking the case from me. I greet everyone happily and they return the gesture. A quick pee, some unpacking and we're on our way.

The rainy and foggy 7-hour ride is filled with talks about Goucher, my academics, different kinds of breasts, bets of how messy your room is, how many items are hanging in your closet and the beautiful autumn-infested scenery of hilly Pennsylvania. It is beautiful drive up to see the most beautiful aspect of my life, thus far.

We arrive in Edinboro, a two-stoplight town that looks like something out of an eery movie. The most commercial and thriving area is the Walmart in the outskirts of town. The school is slightly less depressing. A large campus of brick and surrounded by cornfields. It's funny Bradley, you wished so much to leave Easton because of its location and lack of activities, but Edinboro is so much more still than Easton will ever be.

Scott, Kaitlyn and I step out of the car and walk towards Bradley's dorm building. Walking out is the most lovely boy I've ever met in my life. Light brown hair swept to fall over his eye, his ensemble of skinny, yet strangely baggy black jeans and paisley shirt, his slouched position and dorky smile greet me ahead, walking towards towards us. I try my best to not drop the two grocery bags in my hands and attack him, falling on the ground and smothering him in pent up love, kisses and lovely words from the bottom of my heart. "We bear gifts from lands beyond... Wal-Mart!" I say with an inviting, toothy smile, motioning towards the bags. Two bodies radiating love and joy stand before one another, it's been two months since we'd seen each other, not counting August 19th, the day I returned from California. The day before we both parted. We share a strong, beautiful kiss that reads "I've missed you." I whisper it in your ear anyways. You lightly set your fingers on the small of my back, then hold my hand as we follow you to your dorm. Off white cement walls, grey office-like carpet, a small bed, desk, drawers, and window on either side of the room, asymmetrically. The small joining room contains the toilet closet, the shower closet, two grimy sinks, a small counter, fridge and cupboards. 10 things hanging in the closet, which means Barbara won the bet, beating Scott with his 5, Kaitlyn with 15 and me with...3, what little faith I had, oh my.

We spend the evening in Erie where we visit Spirit Halloween joking about ridiculous costumes and making suggestive, sexual innuendos, similar to the ones Kaitlyn spat out all weekend making everything incredibly awkward for everyone in the car. At the mall next door we get a Starbucks seasonal drink for the basic white (freezing) girl in both of us. I sit Bradley down in the middle of the book store and read him an erotic novel of two Scottish protagonists who just fuck each other for 408 pages. My kind of read. FYE is around the corner, where we spend a long time looking through CD's teaching and learning from each other about what we know and bonding over our mutual interests and later musing over puppies up for a adoption. All they wanted was some love and time to play (we have a lot in common). After leaving the mall, we ate hot Krispy Kreme donuts, had dinner at Texas Roadhouse and headed back to Edinboro to drop Bradley and I off at his school.

I see his common living area and quietly encounter his hall mates, muttering hello, followed by a quick half wave. Once in his room, I started changing into my shorts and flannel to lay in bed. Before buttoning my second button, he walks towards me, taking me into his arms. I bury my head into his chest, something that fills me with joy and provides so much comfort. He leads me to the bed where months of pent up lust and love were expressed passionately. We lie in bed both satisfied and in each other arms. I lightly nudge Bradley, who's falling asleep, to not fall asleep, I wanted to spend as much time as I could kissing and talking to him. His eyes looked glazed and his stare was empty, he said his stomach hurt as he sunk into his pillow. I kiss his cheek, made him some warm tea and rubbed his back, hoping he felt better soon. It killed me to see him like this. Shortly after, he runs to the bathroom and pukes 4 or 5 times. It sounded brutal. Wiping his mouth and gargling mouth wash, he states in a lively, suggestive voice "I feel SO much better and could go for round two". Pushing me on the bed, we do. (Side note: looking into a guys eyes during a blow job DOES make the experience hotter. It was the first time I heard pleasured "oh....YEAH"'s, and the usual moans and eyes rolled to the back of his head [which makes me throb so hard, btw]. God, I love sucking his dick. [I'm trying so hard not to type "hahahah" after everything]. Side side note: Getting eaten out is one of my favorite things, but when you've had it constantly for months and then go without, you learn to appreciate and take in details from those now rare moments. That being said, boy can that boy work his tongue. Those flicks he kisses me with, foreshadowing what's to come [in both departments] drive me insane.) The next morning and Sunday morning are harder to feel each other out (or up...) because of his easily-awoken roommate. On my escape to his land down-under for a morning wake-up call, his roommate peeks his head over, where we both meet eyes. I can't stop myself from laughing, so with head buried into the bed, I howl. Morning consisted of light sex, sensual touches and loving kiss accompanied by words to match.

Saturday we spent the morning and afternoon at the school checking out the different booths where clubs sold their artwork and provided their services. I purchased a beautiful handmade clay necklace with a emerald glass center, free food, and a nice date in town with Bradley where we checked out a hippie shop not much unlike Tammy's Cool Things, an antique store where Bradley got me a copy of Ummagumma (which I have to wait for until Christmas...) and a cup of coffee from one of his favorite breakfast joints, Flips. The thrifting adventure continue throughout the day afternoon leading us to a town away. It is the kind of town you stumble upon, not the one you have intentions of going to because of it's lack In Erie, I experienced what it's like to watch a movie with Bradley without having His grips tightens around my hand, his heart races, his feet kick and he sinks his head into his chest or into my arms. Bradley Milligan, scared shitless (hahahaha). The ride back home resulted in what Kaitlyn now recalls as "you and Bradley caused my PTSD from hitting me and scaring me with picture of dolls".

It is slightly before midnight and we're back in his bedroom. Hot tea warms and soothes my cold body. Bradley takes a spot in bed and makes himself comfortable, as if preparing to go to sleep. He is, and I must admit, I was bummed we didn't have sex. Sipping some more tea, I nuzzle into his arms, feeling waves of sleep wash over me, making me heavy. I let out a peaceful sigh.

It is 4 in the morning and we've both waken up from a short sleep. A strong, but gentle hand brush over my vagina, sending a light wave of pleasure through my body. Taking off my skirt and tights, that pleasured is mirrored on his body as I do the same. Sleep overcomes my lust and I intertwine my body with his.

Sunday morning, this morning, we showered together. An experience I learned to love from our first and only time so far back on that August day. The hot water and his soapy, easy touch gliding all over my body and mine over his is incomparable. I get on my knees and give him one last oral tug before we part ways again.

Breakfast, he doesn't eat much, just a small plate of hash brown - potato flips - and I eat too much, a spicy sausage omelet with chipotle sauce, my my.

In front of your down we kiss and hug. I wish I could have hugged him tighter, kissed him stronger, for just a little longer.

The drive back is a little less beautiful and the time ahead will be harder now that I've had him and I know what it is like to miss the one person who makes you purely happy. Drowning in tears and soaking my pillow I'm counting down to the next time I see him.

I love you Bradley.

Monday, September 22, 2014

I've been extremely nervous about confronting my dad about the fact that I'm going to Pennsylvania next week to see Bradley. He's still set in thinking that I'm a naive teenager, which I am, technically, but I know the consequences to my actions and how to approach them if they do happen. Maybe I should've told him that I was dating Bradley, truth is, he probably already knew. I want him to see that this relationship means much more to me than just sex, if it were just about the sex, I would've broken up with him long ago to fuck freely in college. I love Brad and every day I long to see him, every day counting down until the day we reunite. A month has passed and I continue to avoid this subject. I'll call my dad tomorrow. Hope it all goes well.

In other news, I've become good friends with Rachel (she's actually waiting in her room [with a bunch of her friends] for my bitch-ass to show up. I kind of just wanted to write this post without being in the same room as a bunch of people who could potentially peep over and know I have a blog. Not something I'm willing to risk. Rachel has and is my social driving force. She pushes me out of my comfort zone (in which I'm not so comfortable in anyways) to meet new people ( right now) - her friends. She's got a pretty rad group of friends, the only downside is that they have all already established this connection, so making room for another person almost seems like a hassle. I get mixed vibes from everyone, some were chill that a few nights ago when we went into the woods to smoke, some didn't speak to me at all, the times that they did was to pass me the bowl or ask where it was. Yesterday, Rachel and I chilled in the afternoon after she got her tongue pierced. At dinner I got the weirdest vibes from the girls on my floor and her other friends. I'm not too concerned, since, frankly, I can't be bothered, but I'm confused as to why one day everything is great, but the other there's glares being fired. Guess high-school cattiness has not dissipated from the class of 2014/8.

Monday, September 15, 2014

California Stars // Wilco, Billy Bragg

I'd like to rest my heavy head tonight 
On a bed of California stars 
I'd like to lay my weary bones tonight 
On a bed of California stars 

I'd love to feel 
Your hand touching mine 
And tell me why 
I must keep working on 

Yes I'd give my life 
To lay my head tonight on a bed 
Of California stars 

I'd like to dream 
My troubles all away 
On a bed of California stars 

Jump up from my starbed 
Make another day 
Underneath my California stars 
They hang like grapes 
On vines that shine 
And warm the lovers' glass 
Like friendly wine 

So I'd give this world 
Just to dream a dream with you 
On our bed of California stars 

I'd like to rest my heavy head tonight 
On a bed of California stars 
I'd like to lay my weary bones tonight 
On a bed of California stars 

I'd love to feel 
Your hand touching mine 
And tell me why 
I must keep working on 

Yes I'd give my life 
To lay my head tonight on a bed 
Of California stars 

I'd like to dream 
My troubles all away 
On a bed of California stars 

Jump up from my starbed 
Make another day 
Underneath my California stars 

They hang like grapes 
On vines that shine 
And warm the lovers' glass 
Like friendly wine 

So I'd give this world 
Just to dream a dream with you 
On our bed of California stars 

So I'd give this world 
Just to dream a dream with you 
On our bed of California stars 

(Dream a dream with you)

You made me cry when you played this over Skype. I love you. I love you. I miss you.
I had the most refreshing sex talk with Bradley the other night. It was wonderful because it wasn't necessarily sexting, but instead letting each other know that we are open to telling each other what we like and don't like, as well as being open to trying new sex positions and other sexual acts. We've always had sex, mostly oral, and it's sooooo good (*cries*), but it's always just, kind of, happened. There was no communication, which can be pretty hot, but we could cover more ground if we talked about these things. Needless to say, I ended up VERY sexually frustrated and anticipating the day I see him to not only release all this pent up thirst, but to be held in his arms and kiss him up and down, telling him how much I love him and his warm skin against mine.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

The past few days have been very much alike. Waking up 15 minutes before class, going to class, in which I sport the "grimy, angst, college-student who doesn't get enough sleep by choice" look. I fit in meals the best I can, which have been going great; my plates consist of mainly vegetables. I do wish I'd bring myself to stop eating pastries and calorie dense, though. I'm getting better. Workouts are included in my whenever possible, but I never seem to get around to them, so I've decided to start working out in the morning or before I do any of my homework, just to get it out of the way and feel good for the rest of my day! Homework and studying is a large portion of what I do; sometimes up to 6-7 hours a day. It's ridiculous, and it'll only get longer from here. I've realized that spacing out my work does work out in terms of retention meaning it's a habit I intend to keep and pursue. Procrastination is what I'm really concerned about. It isn't that I do it often -the kind I do is mostly snap chatting Bradley back (and on occasions Anna) - however, it's what I choose to procrastinate in. I'd love to spend that time doing something useful to me, like watching a movie for film class, reading Watership Down or playing the guitar.

I've become sort-of friends with 2 people and have gotten to talk to a few in the past few weeks. Rachel and Markia both live on my floor and have taken interest in pursuing a conversation with me. We've chilled in my room and gone out for cigarette runs. Small things, but meaningful. Leah, Markia's roommate has become a psychology-study partner, which is not much of a friendship, but it's nice to know we have each other for something. Lastly, Talia. I met her in my very first class on my very first day of school. We've hit it off really well! She has a weird, extremely corny sense of humor, but she comes from a good place. There was something else about her that really brought me to where I am right now in terms of our possible-friendship, I couldn't figure it out. Today in art class I noticed her simple jean-short, screen T-shirt and low green-chucks attire and realized that her simplicity and good heart reminds me of Emily (Halverson). They're very much a like. Hopefully this friendship doesn't crash and burn like that one.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Digital love

My phone might be replaced soon because of a cracked screen. I have kept every single message and conversation between Bradley and I since the beginning of April, everything before that I wish I had kept, it was erased on a stupid, impulsive moment (when I thought Charli was going to get suspicious of me talking to Bradley, when at that moment I had no romantic intentions with him). I've excluded the snippets of day-to-day messages - things ranging from "what do you want from Rise Up?" or "OH SHIT I OVERSLEPT I'M SO SORRY". 


B: Hey!! 

K: hey! how weeeeeird I was just about to text you about some shows that are coming to the black cat ๐Ÿ‘ฝ 

B: That is weird hahaha, I was gonna ask you if you're planning on going to open mic tonight?

And who's playing there? I haven't checked the schedule in a while

K: I'm not sure yet because I have to study for a bio test I have this week, but I kinda want to stop by so I might go 

Well there's some alright shows, but so cool ones are King Gizzard and the lizard wizard, deer tick, guided by voice (which is sold out, buuumer), teen mom and Tweens 
B: Awwwh man :(
Well if ya have some extra time you should swing by, or maybe we could hang out for a bit?

We couldn't do deer tick because it's the night of finals right?
And I'd be down for any of those shows if you want to go ๐Ÿ˜Š
Gbv would have been so good ugh 

When is the king gizzard one? 
Cause that would be a blast 
K: totally!! I'll try to get some stuff out of the way to go for a little while at least :~) 

no which really sucks bc I really wanted to see deer tick and gbv๐Ÿ˜ฟ 
cool! I actually might end up going to Tweens so there's that one! and there's so many more good shows coming this summer I'm psyched ๐Ÿ‘ฝ 

King gizzard is on May 15th (which is a Thursday I think) 
B: Sweeet!!!

I knowww ugh
The Timing of shows always kills me
I'll have to listen to Tweens more, cause I've never given them a real listen, but I'd love to come with you if you're cool with that!

Yess, this summer is packed with good stuff
Tons of good local shows too
There's just so many things, it's overwhelming 

Also kaitlyn and I were thinking about havering that bonfire this Saturday, would that work for you?
We're gonna invite Taylor and Alex as well

K: especially during the school year! but who cares it's almost summer any day would be doable! (if we don't work that is) 
hell yeah!! I just want to be see so many shows and events this summer, local and in the city, ahhhh I can't wait ๐Ÿ‘ฝ✨

you should come!! listen to them and let me know what you think! 

ooooh that sounds fun Saturday is perfect! Taylor and I were actually planning to start having out bonfires/camp nights again since it's getting warm and all, we'll let you guys know when so we can all camp out 

B: Trueeee I'm so stoked for it! Hopefully I can find myself a car In the next month or so so I'll actually be able to go to some shows, I hate bumming rides all the time ๐Ÿ˜ฃ
I need to find a festival to go to this year too, I've still never been to a legit music festival  

I've been listening to them! They're sick, I don't know why I didn't listen before
๐Ÿ˜Ž But ayyee at least I know now

YES! I hope we can have a bunch of camp outs/fires/hiking trips this summer 
I'll make sure Saturday is good with everyone else then! And yeah keep me posted if you plan any others, I'm always down! 

K: oooooh having a car is so sweet! I hope you do too ๐Ÿ‘ฝ I know! I feel guilty when I ride with other people for some reason haha usually that's why I always want to drive 

I've only ever been to sweetlife and firefly, which I'm going to again this year. mostly just to camp, because the line up kinda sucks ๐Ÿ˜” 

right!? they're so rad!!! I really hope we end up going they'd be so cool live 

totally!!! I plan on being outside sooo much this summer and doing a bunch of cool stuff. we've actually been planning on taking a hiking trip to Great Falls in VA, you should look it up it's so pretty and nice ๐Ÿ˜Œ


B: Good morning!

I bet it is great having a car. I'm trying to find something decent that isn't too expensive, I've got a bit saved for one but I need money for insurance too. I can't get on my parents policy, and getting my own is going to cost sooo much, ugh

I've heard sweet life is pretty cool, but I don't even know what the lineup is like this year. I was going to go to firefly this year but like you said, the lineup is hecka lame. I couldn't spend that much on tickets just to see a handful of bands. 

For sure!  let me know if you do plan on going!๐Ÿ˜Š

Oh yeah! I know that place, my family went one time when I was younger, we went rafting. I don't really remember it well cause I was so young, but it was definitely cool! Hiking around there would be sooo nice, all the wildlife and stuff oooohh

What I really want to do is hike to a secluded little spring in the middle of the woods somewhere and just hang out there from really early in the morning until it's dark
I actually think everything I want to do is like a cheesy overdone scene from a movie hahah

K: Hey! 

Sweet!! do you have any ideas of that you want to get? You should get one of those reeeeally old station wagons hahah they're so cool. Why not!? is it because you're 18? 

The festival atmosphere is so great! Especially firefly! (if you ignore all the coachella-esque wannabes with the flower crowns and fringed shorts with Aztec prints) but I don't think I'm going back next year, maybe I'll try some new festivals out, yenno?

I will! 

That sounds so fun! Rafting scares the hell out of me and actually I've actually never been there! Which is weird because I grew up in northern Virginia and the Potomac River. But hey it's better late than never 

How relaxing and rad would that be ๐Ÿ˜Œ✨ just walk into lots of random woods until you find the perfect one to go to all the time. Cheesy scenes from movies are the best! I have to do this summer and they're all just really dumb 

I have a list of 103 things to do this summer*

B: No, I have no idea.
I'm completely car illiterate, I used to want an old van (basically spicolli's van from fast times) but gas on that would probably be too much. And nah, it's cause they get their insurance through their jobs.

Ughhh I really want to go to one.
I was thinking about going to Boston calling ( modest Mouse, built to spill and brand new, oh my) but the people I was gonna go with bailed on it. Yeah I feel ya, it's always rad to try new stuff. If the lineup is good next year I'll go though 

I wish I could remember it hahaha
I'd be down to try rafting again though. I like kayaking a lot too actually, I haven't been in a while though.
That's cool! Where in Virginia did you live?
Heck yeah it is, That'll be so much fun!

That's what I'm sayin! I bet there's some nice spot around here like that. They really are the best, I think it's just some weird nostalgic thing I have about them idk. 

That's a lot of stuff. They might be small dumb things, but really it always tends to be the stupid little moments in life that stick with me the best
That might just be me though 

K: So am I haha I was content with the almost-broken down Jeep we had that I drove when I got my license and this car I have now my dad picked it out bc I had no idea what I wanted or about anything really hahah. Spicolli's van would've been so rad!! but imagine all the fixing up you'd have to do it ๐Ÿ˜ฃ As for the insurance, you might be able to get cheap(er) insurance if you have good grades and "demonstrate responsibility" whatever that means 

You were going to go to Boston Calling? no way!? my friend goes to BU and went to the 2013 one and she said it was soooo good! Wait which one would you go to if the lineup is good? firefly or Boston? 

Well you have fun doing that and fill me in so I live it vicariously bc there is no way in heeeell I'm river rafting hahaha. I've kayaked like once when I was younger, I want to try it again soon! I always wanted to do these outdoorsy things growing up but never could bc my parents hate the outdoors but ever since I got a job in the summer and my license it was all gooood 
I lived in Alexandria and then in Fairfax :~) 

I'm sure you'll find something! and they really do, sort of mystifying in a way. That's true :-) I'm thinking about doing at least one thing a day - they're really simple things like picnics l, flying kites and other stuff like that 

B: A beat down jeep sounds perfect. To be honest I don't really care what it is as long as it moves at this point 
I think that van might be worth the repairs, 
I just want to open the doors to it and roll out with all the smoke
Oh man that's the dream, the frickin epitome of cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž 
(Plus his short short game is on point)
Yeah I mean I have the good grades, so that'll help. Idk about the whole "responsible" thing though 

Yeaaah I wish I could have gone that was my favorite lineup anywhere within driving distance this festival season. I bet it was oh my, who played that last year? I don't even remember.
Oh, I was talking about firefly, but I mean if I had a way to get to Boston calling next year I'd be down!

AWWWHH come on, It could be fun. Add kayaking to the list of things to do this summer, maybe we can go!
My parents were kinda the same way, it was very rare that we did cool stuff like that. They've always been the busy type yenno?
That's sweet! Alexandria seems like a chill place , I've been therefor a few house shows.

The simple things are the best! All my favorite memories are just silly little things like that, and they're all like weird hazy moments. It's  kinda weird, but I love it so much

K: It was the perfect car! It had a sunroof and hella bumper stickers on the back, Eugene (yes...Eugene hahaha) was my baby ๐Ÿ˜Œ but it left me stranded a couple times, so my dad fixed it up and sold it which still bums me out. But any car that moves is good!! Holy crap that is all the goals! You should add a mini disco ball in it bc why not? (spicolli is just ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ). 
Good! so just look into different car insurances and stuff, I'm sure the stuff we're suppose to learn in personal finance could help with that kind of stuff

I don't remember who exactly, but I do remember her mentioning that major laser and vampire weekend were there. Hopefully the firefly lineup will be really good next year! this year there's several good bands and people performing, but in general it's not as good as it was like two years ago ๐Ÿ˜ž who knows we'll see about next year. Yeah! Boston Calling would be killer if it weren't 7 hours away!! (but a good show is always worth it man) 

NO NO NO I'm not gonna do it not any time soon! But kayaking for sure!! it's actually already on my list along with canoeing ☺️ 
My parents are the same! my dad is/was always working and my mom is one of those "I can't get dirty ewwwww" kind of people. But we did go on hella road trips, which was always a blast!
I love Alexandria, it's so quaint and cute downtown, parts of it are city-like and others are suburban, it's almost the whole package 

They're what make up the vast majority of our days it's great! I love when you remember little instances from your past that you'd completely forgotten about and it just makes you happy and nostalgic again ☺️

B: Ohhh, that does sound pretty perfect. That's a bummer, but the car you have now is still really nice
(Probably not as charming as the jeep, but yenno) 
He really is, what a babe ✨

'Supposed to learn' is the key there.
The problem is that most insurance companies want to know wht kind of car I have before I even get a quote ๐Ÿ˜ฃ so that's kinda a problem 

I was never that into vampire weekend, but I'd love to see them love, I bet they'd have a fun show.
I'm sure it'll be better next year, I don't know what they were thinking this year, cause you're right the other 2 years it was excellent.
With that many bands there's bound to be good stuff.
It just seems like they tried to get a really wide variety and ended up getting a lot of mediocre bands this year
I mean the number of bands is like 4x last years. And yet last years still looks more appealing

We've gotta do kayaking then! I don't have one myself, but I'm sure We can borrow one from someone. 
Yeah, exactly, both of y parents work a lot, and neither of them are the adventurous type, they're kinda just the typical white conservative parents.
Road trips are the best though! 

Yesss, plus it's so close to DC, and there's soooo much to do there. Oh man all the museums and shows and cool stuff 

Me too! It's so lovely when Something just sparks your memory real quick and you just feel a little piece of that moment and can't help but smile 

By the way, if you still want to go out to dinner when would you want to do that?  I'm free pretty much whenever except for work nights ☺

K: This car I have is really nice but I feel like it's too nice for me especially since I'm as messy as heck. It seems like it's more fitting for my parents, but whatever I'm grateful what I got :-) yenno?? 

tssssssk yeah PF was kind of a joke, but I did learn some valuable stuff in there so in guess it wasn't too bad. 
Shit man ๐Ÿ˜ž well I know that Bry has some mid-2000s Corolla that's kinda nice and she pays like $70 a month so I'm assuming you'd pay some ballpark price???

Vampire Weekend is one those bands that I listened to SO much hahah they're so cute and peppy ✨ and they put on a GREAT live performance it's unbelievable! even if you don't listen to them you get so into it! I definitely recommend you see them sometime. That's exactly what I was thinking! They're trying to cover so much musical ground they just get "obvious" or "sell out" bands from different genres without really looking too much into them. There's like 70ish bands it's ridiculous! the first year I swear they had like 25 and last year like 45 maybe 50 

I'm sure we can! I work at the Y in the summer and they have tons of kayaks! maybe I could get my boss to let me use some sometime ☺️ 
Ehhhh ๐Ÿ˜” yeah but hey at least them being like that or my parents being the way they are isn't stopping us from any cool future adventures! it's better to start doing things somewhat late then never! 
Road trips are my absolute favorites! something about being stuck in a car for long periods of time, really grimy and then getting out for a nice stretch and just stopping at rest stops and taking in the scenery makes me feel so nice ๐Ÿ˜Œ 

DC is just ๐Ÿ‘Œ spending a day at the museums is so relaxing and fun it's actually already on my list of things to do this summer! 

Also when it comes at random times! it's like a little unexpected gift hahaha 

Of course I do! maybe next weekend if that's ok with you? (since I'm done with my races this weekend I'll have the rest of them free) ๐Ÿ˜Š 

B: I feel that, at least you know it's dependable though, that's always nice. Everyone else I know who has a car always has tons of problems cause they just buy whatever's cheapest hahaha
$70 a month is not bad at all, I was expecting around $100. Anything less than that would be perfect

I can dig on cute and peppy, I just think I never got into em because they didn't have much of an edginess to their music. But If I saw them live I'd probably fall in love ( I'm just a sucker for all live music, seeing people just doing their thing and enjoying themselves just makes me feel so great)
Yeah exactly! They'd just be so much better off booking a few really good bands than this long list of decent stuff. It's crazy how much that festival has grown though, and the lineup got a lot better the second year, so I just assumed it would keep going in the right direction, but I guess not :(

Ahhh yes, that would be a dream! I know a few cool spots we could go to, I really just want to paddle down a river and just really get lost in it all, ya feel me?
And that's true! I'm just really stoked to go on cool nature adventures and stuff ahhhh
Yes yes yes! My favorite thing about road trips is getting up reaaaaly early and driving for a while and then stopping somewhere to get some sub-par breakfast (but it doesn't matter that it's bad cause everything is just so great at the time)

I love love love museums, there's just so much stuff to see/learn it's overwhelming, but like in a good way? 
I love the hirshorn in DC, that's like the coolest modern art museum around here ( but I'm just kinda partial to that because art is like really the only thing I actually
Know anything about hahaha ) 

Awh man, it's so much waiting, but yeah that would be good for me! Plus I'm off next weekend so we could make a whole day out of it if you want??
I'm really excited for it regardless ๐Ÿ˜Š

Oh, just so ya know, on Saturday night we can't have a Bon fire cause my parents won't be home most of the night and they "don't  trust us alone with fires"  for some reason :(
But on the positive side, My parents won't be home, and we can all have a
Movie night instead

Good night Katya ☺


K: It really is! No $70 is not bad at all I'm sure if she pays that much, you'll be fine ๐Ÿ˜Š 

No, they're not really an "edgy" band, they're just really happy and lively (well not really they're newest album, but in general) and evoke good vibes, I guess ☺️ God you'd love them live then! It's great seeing anyone doing anything that they're truly passionate about because you just see that person in a good, happy state, yenno?
They really have grown a lot in just three years, it's crazy! One messed up year can't be TOO bad, I'm sure once in time there they'll start having really good bands (well I hope!!) 

Yes!!! it's so nice to just isolate yourself from everything for a while and just take everything in especially the water, it can be so soothing ๐Ÿ˜Œ 
Exactly!! you could eat a gas station burger and be like "holy crap this is possibly the greatest thing I've ever eaten". Ooooh I also love getting up really early for flights idk there's just something about being at an airport at 4am I can't describe it 

Me too!! I could spend an entire day in history and nature museums  and just read and observe. I've never actually been to Hishorn or any art museum tbh ๐Ÿ˜” BUT there is this film event going on there is weekend that I wanted to go to. 
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!!! like I said I think when people are really invested and passionate about something it's really inspiring ๐Ÿ’•✨

It's only a week!! but yes let's take advantage of the whole day! maybe we can go bowling too ๐Ÿ˜Š 

Hahahah yeah I wouldn't trust us around fire either but I'm SO down for a movie night anytime!! I'll bring a couple if you'd like :~) 

B: Yeah that's probably why I never got really into them, they never had anything about them that really grabbed me. Idk I've been getting into a lot more pop music lately though, maybe I should give them another shot.
Nahhh and I know a lot of people were complaining about the lineup, so I'm sure they'll take a look at that when they start booking next year.
That's exactly what I mean, when people just get in their element and just some out to everything else except for what they're doing. Oh man, that's the coolest thing ever 

Exactly! Sometimes all ya need is to just hang out in solitude like that, it's just refreshing to get away.
Hahaha yeah that's what I'm talking about, everything just becomes lovely for a little while.
Oh man, I LOVE airports, i don't know why, but they're just so exciting.
Maybe everything just becomes better when you getup really early to go do it

There's just so much to learn at museums, learning stuff is my favorite, I even like school a lot, even though it's a pain a lot of the time education is really important to me, I just love the search for knowledge

You've never been to any art museum? Oh man, you gotta fix that, even if you are t really into art it's still an experience 
Most modern museums have a few experimental film pieces too, you might be into that!
What's the film thing? I haven't heard anything about it.
Yeah, but I feel like I bore people a lot because I talk about art so much haha. I agree with you though, it is the most inspiring thing. I want to be someone like that in the future; someone really into what they do and really good at it who inspires other people to start and get better

True, I guess it's not thaaat long. Heck yeah I would love that!☺

Sweet! You should defiantly bring some, the more the better, and  we've got all night!

K: They're not everyone's cup of tea and that's ok!!
Another thing is that they take in band requests online at the end of the festival and I think they may book the most popular ones. But essentially it's up to them, so yeah in time maybe they'll develop a bit more 
Yes!! it's so exhilarating and rewarding even seeing other people do what they love even if you yourself wouldn't do that 

Getting out and hearing yourself think and just enjoying yourself and everything around you ๐Ÿ’š๐ŸŒณ 
When I was little my parents used to take me to this park that was right next to the airport in DC and we'd have picnics and just watch planes go overhead it was pretty sweet :-) 

They're educational, informative and fun! (I sound like a cheesy 80s after school special hahahah). 
I love school in general! I've always enjoyed every subject I ever took (well that was until I took math this year lmao) and I never really understood how people never took it seriously. Well actually learning from anywhere and learning in general is just so fulfilling ๐Ÿ˜Œ

No it sucks man!! But I'm adding it on my list of things to do this summer :-) Holy crap I want to check those out! I also have to go to a film festival 
It's called Disasterthon and they play these sweet films from 10am to midnight. This year they're playing Miracle Mile, The Host, War of the Worlds, Sharknado, 28 Days Later and Dr. Strangelove (I haven't seen any that's why I wanted to go ๐Ÿ˜”). 

You'd shouldn't feel like that since art is what you're most passionate about! I actually would love it of you'd tell me more about and inform me on art and art in general bc tbh I don't know much about it but I've always found it fascinating ✨๐Ÿ˜Š
Honestly that would be an amazing feeling to know that what you love inspired others and I really think if anyone puts enough effort and passion into something, they can achieve that! 

Rad!!! I haven't been bowling in eeeeeeeever 

I will! I'll pick them out tonight ๐Ÿ˜Š

B: Oh, sweet! I didn't know that! I'm going to request they book modest mouse again (if they can get them I'm going regardless of who else is playing )
Maybe this year they were just trying out a bunch of new stuff to see what people were down with??
And yes exactly!! That's why I love live music so much too, like I can jam to just about anything live as long as the performers are into it.  That's why local bands are so fun, because they're just doing it for pure enjoyment.

Yeahhh! That mental state is the most soothing thing. When I paint and draw for long periods of time it has a similar effect, it's almost metaphysical. Do you have anything else that puts you in that state like that? 

Aww that does sound really nice

Hahaha they are though! ( it's alright cheesy can be cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž) 
Yeah I've dug just about everything. I love math, it's my favorite subject besides art, and maybe English. I never understood people who just don't care about school either, like if you just give it a little bit of effort while you're there you'll learn a lot. You're already stuck there anyhow, you might as well.
But to each their own I guess

If you're going to go to one you should try the hirshorn or the national portrait gallery, they're both in DC and freeeee, plus they have a nice variety of work
Experimental film can be really rad, but sometimes it's just weird/too much, depends on your tastes though, there's a few different types of art films, you gotta feel it out like anything else I guess. 
Ohhhh that's really cool! When is it?? I've seen war of the world and 28 days but none of the others.

Ohhh no, don't tell me that because I will talk to you about art until you can't stand it anymore hahaha.
What kind of art are you into? Do ya have any preference?
That's what i mean, I can't even imagine how great it feels to have someone look up to you and aspire to be you like that. I know there's so many people around here that i look up to like that, I want to be that for someone else, it's one of my biggest life goals

I must warn you, I really like bowling, but I'm pretty awful at it 

WOOOH! I'm so excited for tomorrow night ☺✨

K: They were one of my favorite performances when they went! yeah maybe so :-) 
I feel ya!! and I appreciate them even more for their guts to go out in front of others and perform (bc I know I'm too scared to do that hahah) 

It's a good kind of getting "wrapped up in your head". See I think that's just amazing ๐Ÿ˜Œ I'm fond of anyone who can find a niche and devote their entire being in said thing. No ๐Ÿ˜” it used to really upset me when I didn't have anything that made me feel that way, but now I'm just sort of feeling around until I discover something like that 

(ok good hahaha). Cool! I wish I really liked math enough for it to be my favorite, but I was always content with it! I had a hard time with Calculus though, I'm giving it another shot next year in college though. History and English are hands down my absolute favorite. Exactly! plus learning doesn't really hurt anyone, and with some effort and time you can have a world of opportunities :~)

Thanks I'll go to both!! bc why not? I love film, but I've never really delve into a variety of experimental types yet so I don't have an opinion on them, but I do love vignette style, those are my favorite so far๐Ÿ‘ฝ 
Its tomorrow ๐Ÿ˜” 

Hahaha ok ok fine. Thats the thing! I'm so art clueless it's not even funny! I'll start getting my feet in the water though and see what intrigues me the most ☺️ 
Who know!! maybe you are someone's inspiration and you just don't know! you're so freaking talented and I'm in awe, you don't even understand! plus you have plenty of time to get your work out there and inspire a myriad of aspiring artists and enthusiasts - actually all people!!! 

Oh hell yes, this means I'm beating you for sure ๐Ÿ˜ sike no I'm crap at bowling, but it's so awesome I love it ๐Ÿ’š

Aww yes me too!! ๐Ÿ˜Š do you want me to bring anything else besides movies?? 
Oh and btw!! Taylor told me to tell you that she meant to text you back and that she's coming!

B:UGHHH YOU SAW THEM!?! I'm so jealous, they're one of my all time favorites, I've been wanting to see them for sooo long.
That's true too, especially on the local level when you're usually playing for people you know, that's so nerve racking. (It's okay I've played open mic countless times and a few other shows and I still get reaaaaly nervous) 

Yeah It is defiantly a really cool thing. I feel really privileged to have found my thing like that already. ๐Ÿ˜Œ Awww, you shouldn't be upset about it though, most people don't get there at all and most of the people who do probably don't find it in high school. You're really smart and determined, so I know you'll find yours ๐Ÿ˜Š 

See the reason I like math is because it's really calming, I love the abstract thinking that comes with it ( math and art are kinda the same sort of thinking process for me) but yeah, calculus is a major
Pain, I've never done so poorly in a class before, I have like a low 80 in there, and it's killin me. I heard college calc is a lot easier though, I'm sure you'll do fine with it next year 
I like English a lot when we're reading a good book and discussing it, but I'm not much of one for writing long papers and stuff it just stresses me out. 
That's it exactly! And why would you not take that opportunity to better yourself?

You're welcome!  
Yeah I feel you, experimental film is just worlds different from movies or shorts or whatever other types of film. Like i said, Its worth looking into for sure 
Awww man, that sucks :(
We spoiled your plans for a sweet film festival 

You should try'n see what's out there! There's just so much great work out there, I'm always finding new stuff and being impressed with what people can achieve. (Plus you always sound V. Hip/deep if you can talk about art ๐Ÿ˜Ž)
The only problem with fine art and people who aren't really into it is that some art just becomes really inaccessible to people who aren't really involved in it, it tends to scare people away.
I could be! And I wouldn't even know it. That's a beautiful thing in a way. (It kind of reminds me of that song "Chelsea hotel oral sex song" by Jeffrey Lewis in a way, you may know him, he's pretty rad)
Oh my goodness, thank you, you're so sweet! ☺ I work really hard at it, and if I can keep improving the way I have these last few years I'm sure I can be that inspirational person. Thank you  so much :)

No this means you gotta take it easy on me, do t embarrass me too bad. (Naahh, but it'll be a lot of fun I'm looking forward to it✌)

๐Ÿ˜Š Uhhh, anything else like what?? I can't think of anything, what were you thinking? 

Yeah I know, kaitlyn filled me in on it hahaha

K: Yes two years ago! They actually have a show in Richmond and one in Bethlehem, PA mid-May ๐Ÿ˜Š Yes!! that's what freaks me out the most, but I also feel like people who you know support you more, yenno? I wouldn't doubt it! but you got up there!! (and also played for the Dukes, which is really......somethin hahah)  

Thanks! ๐Ÿ’• I've been telling myself that I may not find it in 3 months or even 3 years, but one day it'll come to me unexpectedly and it'll be unbelievable ๐Ÿ˜Œ 

Woah!! I would've never associated math and art together, it's kind of eye opening seeing how these subjects that we all learn together, are taken and tackled differently by others. I think what killed me the most about calculus is that it was so different from Algebra (which I loved) and even though it was math, it seemed foreign. A low B is not that bad c'mon! 
See I'm the opposite, I love writing papers!! I love interpreting the book (and discussing it in class, geez I can talk up a storm) and connecting to my own experiences and the human condition and then on top of that organizing all these feelings and thoughts in a way that I can express myself clearly to myself and whoever is reading my paper. Plus you can add flowery language and make yourself sound smarter than you are hahaha 

I'm going to start looking at film events in DC and Baltimore or around here even and being a sleuth on the internet to explore it :~) 
No way there was no spoiling anywhere! It wasn't like I could go anyways my parents wouldn't have been cool with me being in DC by myself especially at midnight

That's why I find it so intriguing and would love to at least broaden my knowledge. It's fascinating what people can achieve with so much passion and dedication! (aw thanks hahaha hip and deep I like that, I'd love to ๐Ÿ˜Š). Who knows, maybe I'll be one of the people that runs away (maybe not!), if I am it'll be an experience to learn from: fine art is just not your thing. 

I wouldn't doubt if you were, honestly! It truly is, seeing how you inspired someone to find their niche - something that they will do and love the rest of their lives. Kind of overwhelming to think about but in a good way. (I have heard that song! I remember it standing out so much to me because of the anecdotal lyrics. I haven't really listened to Jeffrey Lewis too much, he does have a Daniel Johnston-esque thing about him that I really like). 
You're welcome ๐ŸŒŸ I'm just being honest, you really have the potential to great things, just keep doing what you're doing and it'll all come together ๐Ÿ˜Š✨

Hahaha ok so to take it easy on you I'll just try really hard to suck less than you ๐Ÿ™ˆ 

I have no idea! hahah like pizza or whatever or a bottle of wine (but that won't happen bc I have no last minute hook-ups) 
I can't even decide what movies to bring! I'm sitting in front of a stack of about 15 movies (they were the 'winners' from a bunch of others) and I can't seem to winnow that stack aaaaaagh 

Ok good ๐Ÿ‘


B: Yeah, people you know tend to give you a more positive reaction, but it's just a lot more nerve racking. To me at least (omg don't make me re-live playing with them)

☺ You'll get there, and when you do it'll be worth the wait and hard work, I promise! 

It is kinda weird how the mind works like that. And when I realized how Similar the two were for my I was really surprised myself. But again, it just has to do with getting in a certain mindset and clearing your mind. I also found out I'm not the only one who associates math and art like that, which is really cool!
Yes, it is completely different from algebra, there's just so many things you have to consider at once when you're doing it, it kinda makes it stressful.
I'm the same way in class, I will talk your ear off about what i think is up with a book, but research papers and personal essays and that kind of thing, ohhh no.  That's so rad though! I wish I could express myself in words more easily. Hey, who know, maybe writing is your thing that gets you to the good? Maybe you just don't know it yet.

I'm sure there tons of more film events around. And there is the Chesapeake film festival, I've never actually attended any of that, maybe it would be a cool thing to do this year!

Maybe I can help ya learn a little bit more about it? I'll try not to get too carried away with it, but at least enough to find out what kind of stuff you're into. That's always nice to know!
Maybe, but we'll see, there's bound to be something out there that you're really going to connect with. It's just like
Music really, you have to figure out what makes a piece of art that you like

I might be, maybe to one of the younger kids in art classes who really dig art, that would be really lovely. It is a little scary, because it puts a lot of pressure on you to continue to be a good role model, but the reward from it must be so much greater. Thank you ☺ that means a lot, and I think that it will come together too, I just gotta keep going for it.

I love Jeffrey, and Daniel Johnston, I love the narrative style lyrics so much. It was the line where he says he's singing about this girl and she'll never know which is a beautiful thing because the whole time someone could
Have been singing about him
Idk it just seemed like a similar thing


Oh, we have pizzas and some other food stuff here so we've got that covered, and we have a half gallon of vodka coming if you do want to drink a bit  
AHHH oh man, that's a big stack to whittle down, just bring a bunch, we have all night ๐Ÿ˜Œ 
K: No I think most people feel like that! maybe not Skylar bc he was always so fucked up he didn't even care anymore hahah. (oh c'mon I bet it was the most rewarding experience of your life don't kid yourself hahaha) 

I'm hoping for that!! Thanks ๐Ÿ˜Š 

That's probably why Calc didn't work out for me - bc I didn't clear my head and was always getting distracted and didn't approach it in a way that worked for me. But I think it's so cool how you do that!! 
Discussing books is one of my favorite things ever because you can share your interpretation, but also see how others received it and it opens you up to new ideas and perspectives. Essays are just practice and being in the right mindset! but it may not be for everyone, yenno? It may be! maybe I'll develop my writing style more in college and it could become something great ☺️ we'll see

I was going to go to the CFF but I had to work that weekend which was a total bummer, but yeah! I'm on the lookout for events coming up ๐Ÿ‘ฝ

omg thanks would be so rad!!! True!! everyone has their own taste and I'd love to see what kind calls to and intrigues me ☺️

I can imagine how it would be kind of nerve wracking to be someone role model, but also you're that persons role model for what you're doing at this point in time! so you just keep doing you bc that's the reason they look up to you :-) This is really funny and kind of cute, but I have this freshman friend at St. Mikes who always tells me that you're like the coolest and one cutest boys she's ever seen and wants to be like you it's so adorable - so there's that! 

Narrative style lyrics have always had such an impact on me, they make me feel some type of (good) way...I can't really describe it (weird I know hahah). Yes!! ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Ok cool! damn a half gallon hahah ok maybe I'll have to take a bit of that, who knows. 
It is! but I'll try to reduce the stack by half and bring those ๐Ÿ˜Š 
B: No I think most people feel like that! maybe not Skylar bc he was always so fucked up he didn't even care anymore hahah. (oh c'mon I bet it was the most rewarding experience of your life don't kid yourself hahaha) 

I'm hoping for that!! Thanks ๐Ÿ˜Š 

That's probably why Calc didn't work out for me - bc I didn't clear my head and was always getting distracted and didn't approach it in a way that worked for me. But I think it's so cool how you do that!! 
Discussing books is one of my favorite things ever because you can share your interpretation, but also see how others received it and it opens you up to new ideas and perspectives. Essays are just practice and being in the right mindset! but it may not be for everyone, yenno? It may be! maybe I'll develop my writing style more in college and it could become something great ☺️ we'll see

I was going to go to the CFF but I had to work that weekend which was a total bummer, but yeah! I'm on the lookout for events coming up ๐Ÿ‘ฝ

omg thanks would be so rad!!! True!! everyone has their own taste and I'd love to see what kind calls to and intrigues me ☺️

I can imagine how it would be kind of nerve wracking to be someone role model, but also you're that persons role model for what you're doing at this point in time! so you just keep doing you bc that's the reason they look up to you :-) This is really funny and kind of cute, but I have this freshman friend at St. Mikes who always tells me that you're like the coolest and one cutest boys she's ever seen and wants to be like you it's so adorable - so there's that! 

Narrative style lyrics have always had such an impact on me, they make me feel some type of (good) way...I can't really describe it (weird I know hahah). Yes!! ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Ok cool! damn a half gallon hahah ok maybe I'll have to take a bit of that, who knows. 
It is! but I'll try to reduce the stack by half and bring those ๐Ÿ˜Š 
K: He really is! but it seems like he's trying to get himself together, which makes me so happy for him ๐Ÿ˜Š HAHA yes it was! I felt like I needed to say something nice after all that ridiculous shit Skylar said and did on stage 

That's exactly how I felt!! It all built on top of each other and if I didn't understand one unit there was no way in hell I could understand the next. It stressed me out so much. Ew god no, I DO NOT like physics either ๐Ÿ˜ท

I can pretty much read anything! but what I really like are satirical novels like Vonnegut and contemporary (modern literature, if you will) stuff like Salinger, Orwell, Marquez, etc... you? 
No I got you! Everyone has things they can do well in but aren't their fortes or areas of strong interest! Not much but I'm starting to get my feet in the water of creative writing so I'm pretty psyched about that ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Baltimore is so rad and really building itself in music and even film culture! I'm planning on "expanding my boundaries" in different areas when I go to Goucher ๐Ÿ‘ฝ✨ 

I bet!! what kind of art are you into? 

(Of course! no matter how flattering it may be or how much you stick to your own thing, there will always be the slight pressure that someone is looking up to you). 
I don't know any either, just her! (or anyone from our grade for that matter) She told me she came up to you once after the talent show (at school) and told you that she thought the performance was awesome, she was so freakin intimidated and still is hahaha 

Exactly!! Aw all of those musicians are so lovely ๐Ÿ˜Œ I never really delve into them much, but I know a bit of their stuff. Oooooh the mountain goats!! I remember freshman year my friend and I used to listen to All Hail West Texas over and over! After a while of listening to the same type of stuff, no matter how much you love it, you feel the need to listen to and explore other music, it happens all the time ✨

Heck no! that was too much hahaha plus I can't really race hungover tomorrow bc I'll pass the hell out in the middle of the race or throw up as soon as I'm off that boat lmao. 
I know man!! I'm so freakin bored I'm just frolicking outside and see what kind of shenanigans I can get myself into to keep myself busy 
B: That's what it seems like, and I hope he can, but he needs to separate himself from a lot of people/things fr it to work for him, it's going to be hard for him, I have confidence In him though.

That's the worst thing about math, I can't imagine if that happens in college, I'll be fricked. Nonono physics is the worst class I ever took. And my class had a long term sub in the middle which made it even worse ughhh

Yeah!! I dig a lot of contemporary stuff too, I don't read many "unknown" books, mostly just the classics, but I loooove Orwell (1984 is a favorite of mine), Salinger's catcher in the rye is one of my favorites, I also dig watership down and brave new world. But my all time favorite is A clock work orange by Burgess. I also read the republic by Plato, which was realllly rad thought wise, but not exciting
Very true. What kind f stuff do you like to write?

It is!! Plus it's close to Annapolis which is so sweet an quaint, and DC has a killer music/art scene  

Ohhh man, where do I start? I really like contemporary figurative art, but I'm kinda picky about what I like within that. But my favorite is abstract/minimalist painting and drawing but there has to be something about about a piece/ artist that really grabs me, because there's soooo much bad abstract art (mine included haaaaa) . I also like a lot of contemporary sculpture stuff, the things people can make whatever medium the use do never ceases to amaze me. I can appreciate stuff from a lot of other mediums/genres but those are my big ones.

True, I guess it's gotta be something you accept and use as an incentive to grow.
Oh my gosh, why was she intimidated? I try to be chill, I don't think I'm an intimidating person??? 

Yesss I love the mountain goats, and that is such an excellent album!
That's true, I always do that, I just listen to the same kind of stuff until just need Something new. But I'm always on the lookout for things that sound new/interesting, it  gets me so excited when I hear something unlike anything else!

Ohhhh that's right, yeah, that would be nooooo fun.
Well we can still get a lil tipsy and have a good
Thats fun!! Frolicking around sounds so much better than sitting in a frame shop with nothing to do for 8 hours

Btw where do you guys want to meet for dinner after we get off??? 


B: Hey, I'm really sorry if I got you in trouble, and I'm sorry if I won't be able to talk to you for a little bit, but I figured I'd tell you that I really do like you, and I love being around you.
I hope I can talk to you soon and we can still go out next weekend, and if not maybe I'll see you at school or around? Thank you so much๐Ÿ’– and I'm sorry again 


K: so now that this whole thing is cleared up with your mom I can FINALLY reply to your message from waaaaay back:

Same here! He already took his first big step: graduating and now he's registering for fall Peake classes and he was sober on Wednesday, so so far so good ๐Ÿ˜Š

Shiiiit I'm really hoping that doesn't happen ๐Ÿ˜ฉ but they have a ton of resources in college that can help you with classes, so that's always good! Oh god, physics is bad enough I'd hate to have to change teachers in the middle of it damn 

I don't with either! classics make up most of the books I read. I mostly take books that I've read in school and branch off from there. Holy crap!! 1984 and clockwork orange are 2 of my most favorites and catcher in the rye is my favorite book! I tried reading Brave New World in 9th grade but I couldn't really stick to it, but I bought it last month and need to give it another try. We should go to that bookstore in town that's across from Clay bakers! they have some good books for really cheap ✨

God I love Annapolis and DC, it's so freakin sweet, I'd be totally content with living there at some point in my life 

Rad!!! I don't know much about contemporary, abstract, minimalist (and all the other types you mentioned ๐Ÿ˜…) art, but I have a pretty vague idea of what to expect from each. I think that we should go to an art museum someday soon to have a visual and actually put a (type of) piece to a description ☺️

Isn't it!? I usually make a big playlists filled with artists/songs that I really vibe with at the moment and listen to it to the point I know the whole song word for word and the order they're in. It's crazy hahah
No I think she was just taken aback bc she'd never seen anyone like you hahah she was ✨mesmerized✨ ๐Ÿ˜

No it's fine! (and so am I). I figured that something would happen like you'd get your phone taken away (along with all of your rights haha๐Ÿ˜”) and would be on lockdown. I seriously can't thank you enough for taking the blame yourself, I feel awful for that especially since we were all involved ๐Ÿ˜ฅ 
That is so sweet๐Ÿ’• I want you to know that I feel the same way and I'm really happy that I'm getting to know you better and want to continue getting to know you ☺️ If something happens that we can't go out next weekend I'll see you at school!! 
Things like these happen and make good stories in the end (after we freak out for a while). Let's just use this as a lesson to be 1. be more careful 2. lay off the alcohol for a whiiiile 
B: Right?! I'm proud of him! I think he has the potential to go somewhere, more so than the rest of the people in that band and all that he hangs out with, at least he has the motivation.

I'm sure it won't happen to you, especially since you've been exposed to it already. And true there's study groups and all kinda of stuff to help you out! You'll be fine! ☺
That was rough and on top of it the sub barely even knew the subject, it was baaaaad.

Yeah that's about what I've done, cause most of what we read in school is really good. 
Ahhhhhh that's so rad! They're all sooo good.
A brave new world is not as good as those others, but it's cool, it's interesting if you read it back to back with 1984 cause there's a lot of parallels ( essentially the 2 worlds they take in are opposites but with the same goal, where in 1984 they control everyone with fear and pain in a brave new world they control the masses with happiness and ignorance) 
I love that little book store! I got a copy of watership down for a buck there (that's a really good one if you haven't read it, if you like animal farm you'll probably like this) but we should definitely go there soon!!๐Ÿ’•

Meeee too, I'd love to live in Annapolis. 

It's a lot to remember, I get them confused all the time, and they all kinda have overlapping grey areas. 
So don't worry about it hahaha. But we should go soon!! (Oh man we just have so many lovely things we have to do☺)

I do that too! I always have too many different playlists, and I'll have ones for like different moods or activities. I think I just like making playlists and mixes too much.

Awwhhwww, there's tons of people like me, who cares. That's really sweet though๐Ÿ˜Š

I'm glad you're fine and all in the clear, there's no reason for you to be in trouble too. Yeah well, you never know, that still might happen, the hammer has yet to fall. I hope not though, cause that would put a damper on a bunch of our plans. And that's no problem, I mean it wasn't you guys who brought the booze anyway, and there was no way I was throwing anyone under the bus. 
☺๐Ÿ’• I'm happy we are too. (I've thought you were super cool for a long time and always wanted to get to know you but I never knew how, it's pretty embarrassing tbh hahaha)
And I'm still hoping we'll be able to go out, but I'm still not sure what will happen. Maybe i can see you at school for a bit tomorrow?

That's true, and yeah we're gonna need to lay low for a bit hahaha

K: True! He's going to "grow up" and realize all the great things he can do with a little motivation and dedication 

That's what I'm thinking! Also I can be pretty damn focused on something and get my work done pretty well, but lately I've been on this lazy kick it's crazy man. Once school rolls around in the fall, I'll be good and refreshed 
Geez, I don't want to imagine it ๐Ÿ˜ฅ I thought physical science was bad, physics must've been 

RIGHT?! I love the books we're assigned (the Scarlet Letter wasn't one of my preferred reads mostly bc Hawthorne has this way of draaaaging on and it just killed me) and they assign them for a reason and some people don't realize that. They just whine about it all class, it makes me kinda sad/mad.
Yeah I've always heard of those two books together! I'm going to read BNW this summer and let you know what I think and maybe re-read 1984. 
It is so quite and quaint and I just love the guy who owns it! Peepin around in that store is hands down one of my favorite pastimes ✨ No I haven't read it, but I'll add it to my list!! 

I won't hahah. In time I'll start picking up on it ๐Ÿ˜Š Ahhhh yes I know!!! there's just this ongoing list of rad things to do I'm too psyched! 

Same here!! Honestly they are one of my favorite things to do ๐Ÿ‘ฝ I have playlists for like rainy days, hella sad days, dancing in your room buzzed, and other weird stuff like that. Do you use Songza? it's that app where you can play different playlists for different moods, activities, genres, weather, etc... it's so handy and cool ✨

Well you're the only person like you I and most other people have met so yeah that's a good thing!!! ๐Ÿ‘ฝ 

Taylor's mom or grandma or whoever she talked to tried her best to convince your mom not to be too hard on you guys since we're "only teenagers and they do stupid things" and that we were safe in your basement, etc... so now all we can do is hope for the best ๐Ÿ˜Œ 
Aw ๐Ÿ˜Š It's not embarrassing! It's actually cracking me up bc I'm not as cool as I seem (IF I come off that way to people idk man I never really tried to) hahaha. You seriously could've just come up and talked to me! I'm usually pretty out there and open to people. I just hope it wasn't bc I came off as intimidating, I've gotten that a couple of times and I'm trying to come off as more welcoming hahaha oh well 
I hope so! ☺️ but it might be too soon to ask to go out yenno? maybe we can put it off for a little to let things cool down with your parents ๐Ÿ˜” Yeah!! since I don't have a 4th or 5th you should come to the library, all I do is hw (which gets pretty old pretty fast), watch movies or read (or talk to Kaitlyn when she comes in) ๐Ÿ‘ฝ


B: That's what I see him doing. The only problem would be if he gets "distracted" again

I'm the same way, I can usually bang out work no problem, but the whole senioritis thing was no joke hahaha, it's been killing me. But the summer should be a real nice break and then we'll go off to college feeling like new!

( I never read Scarlett letter, or any of his works somehow) yes exactly! They aren't going to pick books for us to read for no reason! They're classics because they're good interesting books with something to offer, just learn from them. I mean I agree that having to do a bunch of class work along with a book makes it a bit less enjoyable, but you should still be able to get something out of it!
Yeah do that! Try reading them back to back if you get a chance! 
Yessss he's just so nice and helpful and awwww what a cutie
It's a good one! It's not quite as in depth with the metaphors as animal farm is, but they're defiantly there. And it has a more interesting surface story if you ask me. 
It's kinda like if Orwell tried to write a Redwall-esque book, that's a good way to describe it.

Me too! AHHH it's going to be so much fun.
This really will be the best summer๐Ÿ’•☀

Yes, exactly! Cause all those things just make you want to jam to different stuff, so you've gotta have the possibilities there. 
And no, I haven't heard of that, I'll have to check it out!?!

Awww, well thanks ๐Ÿ˜Š
I don't know I just don't see myself as that original of a person?? Oh well

Ohhh, that's cool! Thanks Taylor's grandma!!
Yeah I'm just so unsure of what they're thinking, I can't tell what they're going to do at all. 

Nonono you don't understand it's been a long time and it really is embarrassing hahaha
No, yr actually cooler than you seem from far away, you don't give yourself enough credit. (I swear that's a compliment) 
No way in heck would I have been able to just come up to you. I didn't really thing you were intimidating, I just thought you were really Rad and why they hay would you want to talk to me, plus I'm just really bad at introducing myself to people in general.

I really don't want to wait though, I'll just have to see what they say on Saturday, I'll text you or something when they're done their "talk" with us 
Ugh ( but if you want to make other plans cause it's kinda iffy i totally understand)
Okay! I'll have to come up with a reason to sneak out of mr crists class then. 
Aren't you in the library 1st or 2nd as well? I'll be in easton all day tomorrow because of the half day 

And I'm going to bed now, good night Katya ☺
Talk to you in the morning 

K: "distracted" as in that new indie band he wants to start? hahaha

I seriously never thought it was that bad until I saw I was doing horribly in most of my classes and I was like "oh well". It's serious hahah but at this point I really couldn't care less 

(The book has a good plot, but yeah Hawthorne is kind of boring) Exactly! the work can be really boring and repetitive, but the novels themselves are ๐Ÿ‘Œ I'm going to re-read all the novels we read in high school sometime in the future maybe. I think I'm going to read them this summer, I actually have both copies right now✌️๐Ÿ‘ฝ


Right!? It opens you up to different musicians and bands, it's great ๐Ÿ˜Œ Yes!!! check it out it is one of the most convenient and best music apps out there (well in my opinion) 

Original or not, you're interesting ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ‘ฝ✨

Ra ra (Taylor's grandma) is the coolest black grandma out there hahaha I love her (and I haven't even met her). Maybe your mom will listen to her ๐Ÿ˜Ž 

Nonono you don't understand it's been a long time and it really is embarrassing hahaha
No, yr actually cooler than you seem from far away, you don't give yourself enough credit. (I swear that's a compliment) 
No way in heck would I have been able to just come up to you. I didn't really thing you were intimidating, I just thought you were really Rad and why they hay would you want to talk to me, plus I'm just really bad at introducing myself to people in general.

I don't either! ๐Ÿ˜” I was just being cautious bc of your parents, yenno? but let me know what they say ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’•
Hahah I'm in the library all day I swear it's my favorite place (1st, 4th and 5th)
Aw! maybe we can hang for a bit ☺️

crap i accidentally sent part of your message back to you 

Damn Brad!!! It's so lame that we JUST now started talking bc we could've been so close all of high school (well maybe not my pop punk phase but you know) ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ehhhhh I guess I don't know I always just thought I was rly obnoxious hahah but thanks I guess it's always good when people find you rad ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘ฝ✨ Lmao I was too! But this year I was like "what the heck I'll just talk to people I want to talk to why not" 
B: Yeahhh haha I was kinda confused at what was happening at the end of that 

Yeah, kinda. With that I'm just worried he'll start hanging with all his druggie pals again and get back into that.

Meeeee too, I realized it when I started saying I didn't care how I did on my ap stuff and wether or not I finish my ap art portfolio. It's a little late to start Caring though woooops

That sounds like a good idea, everyone of then I have reread outside of class I've liked much better the second time. Do it! (Then we can be really dorky and compare contrast them together ☺) 

There's just so much more out there to find, and my favorite band could be out there somewhere and I don't even know about them yet (and maybe I never will?) but that's what excites me and keeps me looking for new bands and kinds of music and trying to figure out what's next. 
I'll defiantly check it out then! 

Awww you're too sweet☺๐Ÿ’• 
You are as well! I'm really enjoying getting to know more about you and what you're into 
I couldn't be happier to have met you (even if it is a bit late)

It seems like it if she covers for Taylor like that and stood up to my parents. I think they might be a bit lenient because no one else there got I trouble. But we'll see, they think I just went and bought the bottle myself, and they're upset that we did it when Dave was here. 
I was about to tell them where I actually got it cause the girl at the store who bought it for us blabbed to everyone in the store, and I just found out that she basically spreads around the store everything kaitlyn and I tell her about ourselves.
W/e though, it's done now
What did your "mom" tell our my mom anyhow?

Yeah I feel you. Well either way I'm not going to push it, but I'll ask them. Especially since this is my only weekend off for a month I'd love to be able to hang with you and do some rad stuff, and just see you. ( I'm glad I got to see you for a few minutes, even though it wasn't long)

I know, I'm pretty upset about it :( we could have been buds for so long. Your pop punk phase was no where near as bad as my whole whatever the heck I was doing in freshman/sophomore year, I was an even bigger loser then than I am now.
Why would you ever think you're obnoxious?
Me too, I've been trying to do that since last year cause I realized I didn't actually have any friends, and since I did that my life has gotten so much better, I've me so many excellent people around school and the local music scene and all, it's cool to not feel alone anymore. But idk even though all that I was too nervous to talk to you hahaha

K: I think he needs "good" influences in his life, like better friends, that will talk him out of drugs and keep him in check. 

We have like 3 weeks left of high school, we're at the point of no return hahah 

Ok good!! I feel like I'm going to too (especially since I liked them the first time around) ๐Ÿ˜Š (lmao the brad and Kat book club discussions)

Right!! just putting yourself out there musically and expanding your boundaries can be so thrilling and when you actually find a new band it's just such an amazing feeling ☺️

Aw ☺️ maybe 4 years, but better late than never!! ๐Ÿ’š

True! Well she told her I was grounded hahaha (but not for long maybe a week) and that kids are pretty much hooligans with access to everything and she made her laugh a couple times so maybe she'll be a little more lax??? I think it's too late to change the story now but I wouldn't tell her anymore things yenno. It's still cracking me up though how there's so much gossip at a craft store ๐Ÿ˜‚ 

holy crap...a whole month!!? ๐Ÿ˜ฅ I hope you have weekends off during the summer bc that's the only time I have off, I work every weekday ๐Ÿ˜” But yes ask them!!! there's so many things we need to start doing ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ’š (I'm so glad too ๐Ÿ’• I never see you at school (or outside of it!!!!) which is a really big bummer, you should start sneaking out of fourth more hahah) 

DONT BE EMBARRASSED OF THAT PHASE it was seriously so fucking cool I can't get over it. Like I thought it was so damn rad that you just did your thing so non-chalantly. Anna and I would just look from afar and be like "hoooooly crap power to ya man" I remember when Emily and you sorta became friends or whatever we were so excited lmao 
I'm so glad you did! once you put yourself out there a bit things get so much better and it opens you up to so many more things ๐Ÿ˜Š I used to get really bummed out and upset (at myself) that I wouldn't really let people in and that my "friends" where school/filler friends, but this year I think I finally got it right ☺️ I'm in a good group of people and it feels so great. Well thank god I talked to you first at that senior meeting and open mic bc where would we be today (hahah kidding, but yenno ✌️)
B: That's what I think too, I hope he can find people like that to help him out

Whoops sorry, didn't mean to hit send

But yeah I think he can build a good support system for himself and do really well, 

Preeeety much hahaha, although I do need to somehow pull together a few more pieces for my ap art portfolio, cause I can't really afford toget a 1 going into an art program
And I gotta finish that giant painting by the 15th ugh

(I mean I think it sounds like a good time๐Ÿ˜Œ)

Right!?! There's really just nothing better than finding something completely new, it's so refreshing and exciting, it's one if my favorite feelings

That's true, it is MUCH better late than never ☺

That's good. I sure hope it makes her a little lax, but idk we'll see in the morning I guess
I'm so nervous
You wouldn't think there would be that much gossip, but there it is
Allan is a talker too, I know he was bragging that he knew what happened. I don't understand why people can't just keep things to themselves 

Well, 2 weeks, we have like a 3 week rotating schedule, so I have every 3rd one off
Every weekday?  ๐Ÿ˜ฅ That's not cool 
We do need to start! The summer is short and we have tons to do!
๐Ÿ’– I never see you cause I'm always in the art room or in saint mikes (ugh) I'll definitely start sneaking down there at 4th once I finish my painting, I'll probably be able to make it during 5th too sometimes (cause who cares it's just personal finance)

Oh man you seem passionate about that. But no, looking back it is pretty embarrassing, it defiantly had it's moments though( I always had old guys come up to me telling me how they skipped school to go see the dead Kennedys or whatever else, one time I mr Baringer( did I spell that right?) came up to me and asked me if I was into punk and we talked about all the rad music he used to jam to, so when stuff like that happened it was cool)
But in the end I only really did it to give myself an identity and I had to realize that wasn't the way to do it. But I'm glad someone else appreciated it, that's pretty cool, cause for the most part I just got shit for it ๐Ÿ˜“
Yeah I remember that too! She was pretty cool.

It really does! Making that decision was the best thing I ever did!
I feel that, That's exactly what i did, and it's still really hard to let people in (for me at least) idk most people I just have nothing substantial to talk about with. I'm glad you have that now ๐Ÿ˜Š that's really cool and I'm sure things will just keep on getting better (for the both of us)
No but really, that's true hahaha ( I'd been crushing on you from afar for so long I would probably never have said anything to you ๐Ÿ˜ฃ) so thank you so much for that ☺ 
K: Agreed, I'm going to try to be there for him if he needs it 

craaaaap a one (or anything that's not a 3+) would be death ๐Ÿ”ซ how many more pieces do you need? and by when? Bc if you focus a lot of your time on those pieces these next few days you'll be ok ๐Ÿ˜Ž

(not gonna lie, I'm so down for that ✌️) 

It's such a fulfilling feeling for anything! a new song, band, genre, film, fun fact, etc ๐Ÿ‘ฝ I loooove it 


Oh god...they come back tomorrow morning ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜ฐ (I'm praying for you). 
Hahaha on Monday Allen was like "so did you have a good weekend" and I was like "uhhhh yeah?" and he's like "I heard you did" (I was a little creeped out but other than that I didn't really think much about) 

That's good. I sure hope it makes her a little lax, but idk we'll see in the morning I guess
I'm so nervous
You wouldn't think there would be that much gossip, but there it is
Allan is a talker too, I know he was bragging that he knew what happened. I don't understand why people can't just keep things to themselves 

Oh ok! every 2 weekends is not TOO bad but in the summer it's going to suck so much ๐Ÿ˜“ 
Yes! it's so lame! I get off at 6 everyday. I work 7-9am then have a 3 hour break and then 12-6pm. It's so tiiiiiring. 
Well as soon as all this testing and your grounding is over, it will be smooth sailing whenever we can ๐Ÿ˜Ž 
Yes please do!!! as soon as you finish your painting bc that's pretty important. Personal finance you can just take your work down to the library and chill in there ๐Ÿ’•✨

OH YOU DONT EVEN KNOW. Well we all have an embarrassing phase I guess and if you feel like that's yours then there's that (EVEN THO IT WAS SO COOL). Hahaha that sounds so rad! I seriously love hearing cool stories about peoples pasts, makes me look forward to shinanigans I'm going to get myself into in the near future ✌️ Mr Biringer (you were close) is so cool he's my favorite teacher hand down. He was in a death metal band called Blood for Breakfast in high school (we never let that one go with him). Oh ho ho, trust me you had an identity. Really? ๐Ÿ˜” like from people at school or your parents or just others? That's really dumb, but I guess people can't appreciate different people or be open minded 

Right!!!? that's how it was before! but I realized that I should try and get to know more people even if I don't have super similar interests with them, I could just be casual friends with them, but those that I feel like I could have a connection with I try to get closer ๐Ÿ˜Š I'm happy for you too! and you should continue bc you're such a rad person and more people should know that ๐Ÿ’•
omg that's just so weird to me I just wish you would've talked to me (or me to you) so much sooner bc I honestly think we would've hit it off (and there's also the fact that I always thought you were soooo cool ๐Ÿ’—)  
B: For sure! Me too 
Yeaaaah I mean I'm confident I'll get at least a 4 if I can finish all my pieces. I think I need like 3 more? Which are just going to be the abstract memory pieces I started, but I'm so bad at abstract work, I still haven't been able to get it. And it all has to be done photographed and uploaded to the ap website by Friday uhhhhhh
I hope I can make it ๐Ÿ˜“


It is ohhhh man๐Ÿ˜Ž
And I checked out songza, it's so rad! I've been listening to a 60's guitar surf station ✨

Yeah at like 9 and thank you, we'll need all the prayers hahaha
He's just a little weird sometimes, idk why he felt the need to tell you but w/e

It wouldn't be bad if you didn't work every week day ๐Ÿ˜ž
But those aren't terrible hours, I can meet you during your break some days, and there's always the nights, we can still bowl, go out to dinner, see some movies or just hang. It'll all be good๐Ÿ˜Ž 
True, yeah I'll just start taking my work there most 5th periods

That's true, we do ( if you say so )
Me too! I loved it so much, that's the only thing about it that I miss really. 
He seemed really rad the few times I've talked to him.  THAT'S PERFECT!!  I have to hear them! What instrument does he play?
Yeah but at that time my identity was just that dressing, I feel like i have more of my own identity now though, it's something more genuine now i think,Idk.
Everyone, my parents did, kids at school, even teachers ( one time ms burkheardt told me a bunch of teachers were talking about kids who were bad/didn't want to learn and some teacher I never had tried to use me as an example, like cause I dressed like that I was  some dumb hooligan or something, but she stood up for me and told em that I was one of her best students. That's kinda a lame story, but I always thought it was cool that she stood up for me, and weird how teachers talk ou of their asses just as much as students)
Ah well, people always have trouble accepting different things

Yeah! Exactly, ya just have to learn how to find Something to talk about with anyone, but yeah people you have more in common with are going to be easier to get close to.
Thank you ☺ I'm going to try to, you should as well, cause you really are wonderful and easy to talk to and get along with. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend

Hahaha yeaahhh, sorry if that's a little weird,
I wish we would have started talking earlier too, but oh well, we just have to make the best of the time we do have ๐Ÿ’–☺
K: that's the spirit ๐Ÿ˜ well you might not be good at everything, but you'll get better in time! plus with this time crunch you're in, being started is better than nothing! You can do it I believe in you ✨๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ‘ฝ *sends good vibes your way hahaha* 

I don't think I've heard that one!! but surf playlists that they have I love the 60s surf rock and the post-60s surf stations they're so rad ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒŠ if you find some cool stations that you like, let me know ๐Ÿ˜Ž

Ok man I gotchu, I'll get my grandma to pray too if you need it hahaha 
Yeah I don't either but I didn't think too much about it I guess he's pretty funny 

It sucks up all of my time I swear! I could barely do anything, but I'm determined to make this summer eventful no matter what it takes so nights, weekends, whatever, it's gonna be rad☺️ Yes please do! I would have 3 hours of nothing and I couldn't go home bc it's like 20m away and gas prices ๐Ÿ˜ฉ So Id usually go to my friends or Rise Up. 
Ok!!! I'll be in there most of the time too๐Ÿ˜Š

He's so cool and hella cultured we have these conversations on old and modern bands, books, people, everything I love him so much as a person and a teacher. I've never heard his stuff and I doubt I ever will! he's so embarrassed about it! he was a drummer ๐Ÿ˜ 
I guess it's one of those attempts to "find yourself" and that's what you did and hey you actually did! Even if the path there was awkward or rocky or whatever it led you to become who you are today ๐Ÿ˜Š Did it bother you at that point? If it did, it's all in the past and not everyone will agree with what other people do, so we just have to keep on going, yenno? As long as you feel true to yourself, do you ☺️ (No it's not a lame story! It's a perfect example of how no matter how old you are you can still be a close minded, assuming asshole and it's sometimes worse than with students bc adults (teachers in this case) feel they can't be contradicted (just bc they're adults) Plus Mrs Burkhart is pretty cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž)

Of course! 
Wow thank you ๐Ÿ˜Š It actually makes me really happy to hear that ☺️✨

No it's not weird that you TOLD me you were crushing!!! (I'm really glad that you did, it's super flattering) it's just that I never would've thought that'd you would be crushing on ME lmao (but heeeeey I'm not complaining ๐Ÿ˜✨ hahaha) 
You best believe we will ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐ŸŒž 

B: That's true! I'll get there, I just need to go through the process of learning it. And that's true! The start is good! Thank you☺ 
And I appreciate the good vibes ๐Ÿ’•

It's a good one! I gotta explore it a little more, but I'll keep you posted if I find any good ones! What are your favorites on there??

Oh yes thank you grandma Castro we're gonna need all we can get to not be killed by our parents
Yeah he can be pretty cool sometimes.

Heck yeah! You'll still be able to have the best summer! And definitely! You can always come over here if you want during your breaks, That's not a problem, and I can meet you somewhere sometimes, it'll be cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž
Yeah I'll probably be hanging out there way too much too(and blowing too much money), but oh well

That's so rad! I kinda wish I had him cause everyone who has him says he's really cool, but I don't think I'd have been down for all the work of Another AP (tooooo Lazy right now) 
Did they ever record? Cause if they did I bet we can find it.  Hahaha of course! He looks like a drummer.

True! I mean I don't wish that it never happened, I think it was worth while. And nah it never bothered me that much, I've never really been one to let things like that get me down. But yeah your right, it is in the past. And now we're moving on to better stuff

True, I don't know, I just guess I always assumed that adults were actually more mature than us, But as it turns out, most aren't any better. The fact that most of them still believe that they are much more mature makes it weird, and it puts us in a hard position because they're supposed to be respected. Not that I'm saying all teachers act like that by any means, but yenno. 
Yeeess The real moral of that story is she's pretty kick ass hahaha we used to always talk about ska music and seeing shows at the 930, she's a cool person.

You're very welcome! ☺ It's the truth!

I don't know why you wouldn't think that?? You're brilliant, into super rad music, books and movies, gorgeous, fun to be around and just a generally chill person, why wouldn't anyone have a crush on you?!? ๐Ÿ’•
(Plus, come on it's pretty obvious now that I'd been crushing on you/like you) 


K: Exactly! just keep your head up and be open to learning it and you'll be goooood ✨
You're welcome ๐Ÿ˜Š  you'll be getting a lot from me these next few hours with your parents home hahah

Sweet, of course ✌️ I haven't listened to TOO many, but of the ones I have and have really liked are: shoegazer afternoon, suburban sunbathing daydreams, indie children of the 90s, classic rock summer, misty beach a go-go, 60s surf rock, 2013's indie flower children, spanish guitar, classical ballet, and then there's this one beach bound one that I really like that I can't remember the name of 

Last summer was kinda lame (mostly bc I was grounded for all of it), but this one I have a reeeeeeally good feeling about ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐ŸŒž Yes!!! plus in those three hours we can hang out and do all those ridiculous things off my 103 thing long bucket list lmao, or just chill ๐Ÿ˜Š Oh god you don't even know, half the money I make in the summer probably goes towards rise's bad

You'd love him! He's one of those teachers that I want to stay in touch with after high school. AP lit is not a lot of work but it's work that's really time-consuming, which sucks. 
I don't know, I can ask him??? Right!!? he just has THAT look

Good and that's how it should be! Those are just parts of who we are/were and if other people can't get with it, then fuck them ๐Ÿ‘ฝ

I guess not all personalities change and mature with age, it really just depends on the person. I've come to realize that a lot (of course not all) of people around here (and anywhere you go, really) are very close-minded and judgmental (one of the many reasons I've always felt I can't stay here forever) and they pass that on to their children, so we end up being surrounded by just sucks man. But whatever, I know we're not like that and in time we'll find lots of people and places with morals and beliefs like ours ๐Ÿ˜Š
She really is! 


You are tooooo sweet aw aw☺️ (well NOW it's obvious [and I think it's pretty obvious the feeling is mutual ๐Ÿ’•] but before Kaitlyn told me I was clueless hahahah) 

B: I intend to, and one day I'll be one of the best (that's the idea at least)
I'm really surprised how lax this punishment was, like, Wow this is nothing 

Ohhhhh i'll defiantly be checking some of those out! Yeeeeeses Spanish guitar! Spanish folk/classical music is some of my favorite stuff ever, It has such a beautiful ethereal sound to it.

Yeah I can see that! I defiantly  want to keep in touch with mr wager and mr Crist, they were the only ones I had a real connection to here. ( I mean obviously I'd keep in contact with Crist, he's like my mentor)
I gotcha, well that's kinda the same thing?? Idk I just probably wouldn't have put the time into it that it requires. You should ask him, I Wana hear it! They might be really good. He does, I can't picture him playing guitar or anything, he had to be a drummer 

Yeah, it seems like a lot of then don't (or maybe people who don't mature are just more concentrated on the eastern shore hahaha)
I feel that, and I hate that some people just take on their parents values without any question, it's like some people can't even take a second to think for themselves. 
soon enough we'll be going off to school and i'm sure there we will meet tons of people with more similar views to us who we can get along Better with, and hopefully not be entirely surrounded by ignorant people

Noooo, it's just true! 
( I mean clearly now [ and yeah It is, now at least ๐Ÿ’–☺] really, not a clue at all? I'm surprised, I mean I tried not to make it obvious but I wasn't sure how well I was doing with it. Awwww man, she told you??? What the heck)

K: HEY that's the spirit!! ๐Ÿ˜ You really will be though 
Well we can't really say what it was that made them give you a chill punishment, but we can just sit back and appreciate it ๐Ÿ‘ฝ (thank u based god) 

Cool! they're all pretty sweeeeet ๐Ÿ˜Ž Really!? same here!!! I grew up on that stuff and I just remember being so entranced by it even at a really young age ๐Ÿ˜Œ✨ Spanish guitar and flamenco have a very special place in my heart ๐Ÿ’— (as lame as that may sound) 

You should! especially since Mr. Wager is retiring after this year ๐Ÿ˜” I never had him and I really wish I did bc he seems so cool and everyone who's had him loves him! That's so awesome how you and Mr Crist have a connection like you do, there's no way you should stop it just bc you're leaving high school! 
I will! (he'll probably be like "why??" but whatever hahaha I'm actually really curious as well) 

(it actually could be that! lmao) I see that so often and it's so sad! And the people the diverge from their parents opinions are seen as freaks or whatever
That's what I expect! I have a really good feeling about college and the kinds of people there will be there (which is the biggest reason I'm looking forward to it, not like a lot people I've talked to who just want to to college to party all the time) 

NO I was completely oblivious! I honestly thought you were just trying to know me better in a completely platonic way. Plus it didn't cross my mind bc you had a girlfriend so yeah hahah. Yes at open mic night one day (but I'm glad she did tbh ๐Ÿ’œ)
B: I think I can be, if I can keep improving and working the way I have over the past few years!
Who knows! I think it was because we haven't done anything in a long time. But I'm certainly thankful either way

And yes I love it! Spanish classical guitar is my favorite type of classical music, and flamenco guitar is sooooo cool, and really impressive technically. But my favorite Spanish music is Galician folk music 
Ohhhh hoo hoo it's so mystical and lovely. 
That's not lame at all! I think its really cool that you have that connection to your culture. (The only music I rennet from my childhood is Alice in chains and the offspring hahahah)

Is he?!? I didn't know that, good for him! He's great, my favorite thing about him is that you can talk to him about anything, as long as it's something you're really interested in he'll be interested in it and talk with you, it's really cool, we used to chat all class about painting and sailing (he sails) it was really cool. He's just a really genuine person
Yeah I honestly don't know where I'd be without Mr. Crist, he's taught me so much (even stuff outside of art) he introduced me to philosophy and just in general has been a guide to me, I really appreciate him.
You gotta ask him! Just tell him you're really into death metal ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽธ

It happens so much. I just don't see how people jus don't take the time to form their own opinions and personalities. It's not even about necessarily having a different opinion than your parents, but why is it the same or different. I don't know, I'll just be happy for a change (hopefully) 
I'm looking forward to it a lot too, I'm going to miss a lot here too though, the closer it gets to time to go the more I realize that. But all in all I am really excited for it too.
I don't understand people who just want to go party, it's such a waste, ugh

I did just want to get to know you, but then when I did get to know youi realized that I liked you a lot. I had been crushing on you for a while before that, but i just never really thought much of it cause I figured I'd never really get to know you, but then I did, and here we are hahaha. Yeeeeaah, I guess that would kinda throw you off. Well, either way I'm glad things are the way they are ๐Ÿ’•☺

K: Exactly!! and with that mindset you're on your way to great things (eeeeee I'm so happy and excited for you, I just love seeing people being focused and determined in something they love ☺️) 

Spanish classical guitar is just so soothing and beautiful it amazes me how a person with some passion and a guitar can create such an alluring sound ๐Ÿ˜Œ Galician folk music is ๐Ÿ‘Œ (I don't listen to much of it but it's so charming ✨). Are you into any other types of foreign traditional music? (or music from said regions) 
(Alice in Chains, not bad not bad - thats a pretty rad childhood band ๐Ÿ‘ฝ I didn't even listen to them until I was like 14! My childhood consisted of late-90s and early 2000s pop, 90s house music, Mexican and Spanish music and a bunch of things from here and there. What other stuff did you grow up listening to?)

Yeah! People, like him, who are genuinely interested in who their talking to are wonderful and it makes others want to talk to them more and again (and they leave a good impression! like he did to you). For a second I thought you were into sailing (which is pretty freakin cool [i was going to take sailing lessons 2 summers ago]). 
An inspiring mentor can become a really close friend for life, especially since he reached out to you other subjects besides his profession, keep him in your life ๐Ÿ˜Š  (Side note: did he recently graduate from college? bc he looks really young) 
Hahaha ok ok I'll do it ๐Ÿ˜Ž

No of course not, but that's a big part of where they form their thoughts and personalities from. I understand personalities are inspired by your peers, parents, media, etc...but it doesn't make sense how people can follow mass opinions and take everything in without filtering sucks.
That's true (and two of us) I guess we don't realize how much we love this place until it's almost gone. What are you going to miss the most? You won't be too far from home though! So you can always come and visit ☺️

It's weird bc I also thought that'd I'd never get to know you bc you had an entire separate group of friends and was way cooler, but it's lovely how things work out ☺️๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’— 
That makes two of us ✨ now let's just appreciate this time and have a blast 


B: ☺ thank you! I work really hard and knowing that it excites you (and others as well) makes it so worth it ๐Ÿ’•

Ahhhh yes, it's so calming and nice. I loooove Galician folk, I always like to listen to it when I'm just
Trying to calm down by myself. There's this one contemporary Galician folk band called sangre de murdago that i especially love, you should check em out!
I listen to a little bit of Celtic music some Dutch and German stuff (mostly just drinking songs though hahaha) Icelandic and Russian folk along with traditional American music
( yeah for a band to be raised on it's not bad, I'm not that into them now but w/e. I was never that into the pop music of my time, and I wish my parents had exposed me to more traditional music, but neither of them were really in touch with their heritage.
My only music memories form childhood were all grunge and classic metal stuff, I always remember sitting in my dads truck listening to the offspring, Aic, nirvana, foo fighters, ect. 
Oh and the doors, i really liked the doors
I  can't remember listening to anything else untill I was in middle school)

Yes I love it, and I don't really think it's that hard to connect with someone who's passionate about something, it doesn't make sense to me why more people aren't like that. No, I've never tried sailing, but I'd give it a shot, I bet it would be soooo much fun.

I sure hope so, I don't see why he couldn't be! Yeah, he's only 28, it's crazy, an he has 2 bachelor degrees, his masters and 4 kinds. It kinda freaks me out cause I have friends who are like 25 and still live at home with dead end jobs 

I just don't know what it is, is it just like people are too lazy or apathetic  to try to find their own way or what? I mean I guess it is the easy way out.

Mostly what I feel like I'm going to miss is the community I've found my self involved in here, I've made so many incredible friendships through our tiny little local music scene, and everyone I've met it a just a genuine person who I've learned so much from. So mostly I'm going to miss that sense of community and all the people I've met (and continue to meet). I'll miss kaitlyn a ton, cause it'll be like moving away from my best friend who was also a room mate. ( and i'm sure i'll miss you ๐Ÿ˜ž [taylor and Alex as well]) What do you think you'll
Miss?  It's pretty far, an 8 hour drive. But I will for sure be back to visit. ๐Ÿ˜Š

I have no idea why you thought I was cool hahaha.  I don't really even have any friends at school (except now, you and Alex) which kinda sucks. 
It is though ๐Ÿ’•
Okay!! We certainly will ☺๐Ÿ’–☀

K: It is! and like you said that John Maki was your inspiration (or one of) to get into art, you could be an underclassman's (even someone older's) inspiration! 

Ooooh that is really relaxing and enticing music, I usually just listen to Animals or Dark Side of the Moon hahaha. 
I'll check them out! Dutch and German drinking songs are so cute/fun!! I haven't really listen to much of it or any others to be honest, but I can appreciate it ๐Ÿ˜Š (especially Russian traditional music, it's ๐Ÿ‘Œ ooooh I also love Greek music) 
(not at all! I mean AiC is AiC ๐Ÿ˜Ž See I still think those are really rad bands to grow up to!!! It would be the dream to jam to the Doors or some metal with my parents you don't even know man. I didn't even listen to ANY of that stuff until like 7th grade when I went out and ventured myself. Before then I just listened to the radio and what my mom played lmao)

Exactly! even if you're not too informed on said subject, just taking the time to listen and give genuine feedback is worthwhile. Yeah me either, but I have no idea how sailing even works (or what you do I guess) hahah I'll have to check that out soon. 

Seriously!? 28 with TWO bachelors, a masters and FOUR kids JESUS CHRIST. That's crazy and cool!! like you said there are people that are 25 (or even his age) and are still trying to get their life together (or aren't even trying...) 

Yeah I think it's just apathy or maybe it just never crosses their mind that what they're doing is
sorta pathetic (woah I sound hella rude ๐Ÿ˜ง). Who knows 

The local music scene here may be fairly small, but it's composed of different kinds of people that are mostly there for the same love and appreciation for music and musicians, I can definitely see how you would miss that ๐Ÿ˜Œ I'm with you there! Oh my ๐Ÿ˜ฅ I can't imagine what it's like to live with your best friend, see and talk to them every single day (and your whole life) and then suddenly only see them a few times a year. God, I know! I finally find myself in a phenomenal and rad group of people and I'm taken away from them (Taylor, Alex and Kaitlyn I will see often bc I'll only be in Baltimore and I can come weekends, but you're 8 hours away omg uuuuugh ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ฐ) 
Well besides you guys and other friendships that I've made this year, I think I'm going to miss my brothers a lot (especially Ian, he's going into middle school and I just want to be there for him. Plus he's at that age when I can actually have conversations with him). I'm going to miss the really warm spring days where I can just go for a walk or a run down loooong straight roads with cornfields all around me. I'm going to miss those days where it snows a lot and everything is so open (no trees, just miles of open fields), beautiful and white. I'm going to miss my yard and laying in it and the openness. I'm really going to miss the night drives back home on long empty roads and the back roads of Cordova just playing some chill music, dream pop or shoegaze ๐Ÿ˜Œ✨๐Ÿ‘ฝ But us being gone just makes the time we spend here and with the people we love and out friends all the more special ☺️

I don't know how you didn't think you were! First there was that whole punk phase that caught my attention, then it was my fascination with how talented you were, and then I thought you were so freakin cute so yeah!!! The thing about school friends (as I see it) is that they're just kind of there...idk filler friends? The people you make an effort to see outside of school are the ones that really matter! ๐Ÿ˜Š That's now I felt last year - Taylor left for Chesapeake Christian, Kenia went to SMMHS, Anna went to a boarding school in Sweden, and Emily moved to Salisbury. So all my friends were gone and everyone else didn't really matter to me bc I still had people outside of school and school is just...well school. 


B: Aww man, if I was that to some one that would mean so much to me. Maybe I'll come back and visit mr Crist in a few years and see that the new best in the school was someone I inspired. What a great feeling that would be

Yeah it is, it's so ethereal and trance inducing. Yeah Floyd is really excellent that, I just don't find myself listening to them a lot though ( maybe I should more). I also dig on some post rock when I'm trying to relax (mostly just Godspeed you! Black emperor though haha). 
Russian traditional music is sweeeet. Their folk religion is really interesting too (I had a phase where I was really into Scandinavian folklore and fairy tales, And they still intrigue me a lot)  I really haven't listened to much traditional greek, maybe I should.
It is kinda rad, I'm really glad I was into that instead of just radio pop stuff, I feel like it definitely helped shape my tastes today.  At least you got into it eventually, some (most) people stay stuck in the radio. I wish I still had that connection with my dad, but he doesn't jam to that kinda stuff much anymore, he listens to a lot of really tool-y music, like the heavy radio rock with the unnecessarily, dumbed down over sexual/sexist lyrics. And I can't stand that. And he doesn't get why i don't like stuff that's all over sexual/womanizing, I think he wants me to have some kind of man-complex that I just don't have. It killllls me
(He really wanted a son who was a football player who would go on to get a business degree or something dumb like that)

That's what I'm saying!! All it really takes is an open mind and a willingness to listen. I feel like sailing would be tons of fun, but I also feel like it's the kind of thing you have to put soooo much time into before you know enough about it for itto be fun.

I know, sometimes I forget that, and when I remember it just shocks me. I can only hope that my life will be as on track as his when I'm that age. ( of course it would be a lot different, but I'd just like to be at that point, idk if that makes any sense) 

Maybe, and no, I don't think that's rude, that's how you feel, I agree with you.

You've only seen part of this scene as well! I hope this summer we can go to some more local shows and you can meet some of my friends and see their bands. (This part of the local scene is almost completely separate from the open mic scene) I wish you could have come to that big show last month, you would have loved it.
Ohhh mannnn, I'm going to be leaving the group:( Ugh maybe we'll be able to make some day trips and meet somewhere in between while we're at school. Yeah 8 hours blows for sure
It's not cool, but really kaitlyn and I were never really close until lately ( another opportunity I was late on)  
Well at least with being close you'll be able to be there for him still!  Ahhhh yeah, that's all so lovely! The place I'm going is a small town kinda place though, so I'm still going to have a lot of that, which I defiantly appreciate. ๐Ÿ’•
You seem to be able to appreciate small little things so easily, I admire that so much in you.
Yeah! And that's why we've gotta make this the best summer! And just love everything we do and not take it for grated( corny as that sounds) ☺

Awwww man, you're tooooo sweet☺☺๐Ÿ’– thank you.
That's very true, it's like they're only there for you to fill the need to talk to someone while inschool. I was missing the outside of school friend thing for a looooong time. But now I have you๐Ÿ’•, and the rest of our group, and all the other lovely people I've been lucky enough to be surrounded by. 
I know what you mean, but that's still kinda tough, them all going away at once. It's still good to have people there at school (so the filler friends do have a purpose hahaha) but you're just such a like able and outgoing person I can't see you really having a problem with that.


K: You should and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if you did! Even if they didn't know you personally, just seeing what you can accomplish is pretty inspirational to anyone. Just wait and see ๐Ÿ˜Š  

Floyd is pretty great, they're one of the few bands I have really gotten into (as opposed to just a casual kind of listen, yenno?) (just try it out! maybe you'll dig them more, maybe not!). Ooooh post-rock, I'm not going to lie, but I really don't know too much about post-rock or post-rock bands, what are some? I'll check them out (to dabble and learn ๐Ÿ˜Š) 
Traditional music in general from any region is beautiful not only for the way it sounds, but for how much power and emotion towards their culture is embedded in the songs. It's beautiful ๐Ÿ˜Œ
(Scandinavian folklore and fairy tales sounds intriguing and mystical, I'd love to know more about it one day!) Give it a try! Check out the album "Zorba's dance and other traditional Greek songs" ๐Ÿ˜Š
Definitely better late than never! I'm sorry you that have that connection with your dad anymore ๐Ÿ˜” and it's really lame that he's moved on to those all-around awful radio rock songs, but at least at one point you had that bonding experience with him. Maybe you can try to find something else to bond with him? See that's something that really frustrates me; how men (not directing this towards your dad, just in general [again, not all]) feel the that patronizing women (through songs or anything) will boast their "manliness" and the worst part of it all is that (most) women accept this without a question and find it somewhat romantic (I could get heated on this subject, but not through text hahah). But what matters is that you recognize how fucked up that is and you stay above it no matter how your father feels. That's awful ๐Ÿ˜” my mom is the same way - she has this image of a "perfect" daughter who is very "feminine" and as in "feminine" SHE means a girl who isn't independent and self-sufficient. She wants me to be like other "normal" teenage girls that follow mainstream pop culture, read Cosmo and carry designer brand bags or whatever. It's really stupid, they just have to learn to accept the fact that their children are their own people and they will become so. 

Exactly! True, but it's hard work that's worth it in the end ๐Ÿ˜Š (what am I saying I don't even know hahaha) 

No no, you're making sense! He's a great role model because he's accomplished so much at such a young age, it'd be great to accomplish that much in what you  pursue. I gotchu ✌️

God that sounds so fucking rad I'd seriously love to get involved and meet them!! (Just let me know when ๐Ÿ‘ฝ). I wanted to so bad! I'd even told my parents I was going to be out the entire night when you asked me! but I completely forgot I had made a commitment to babysit for a family and I couldn't just flake on them ๐Ÿ˜” 
It's making me hella sad ๐Ÿ˜ฐ but yes that's a must (maybe we can find a rad middle spot to hang meet in too)๐Ÿ’• Aw! small college towns are so cute. I might just have to visit Edinborough (did I spell that right??) sometime! 
Yes I'm really happy about that! I can see myself calling and texting him all the time even though he's 11 hahaha. 
Really!? just this year? Why were you never close with each other? 
No it's not corny at all! It's just true ๐Ÿ’š the small things are what make up most of our days and our lives, we have to learn to appreciate them and take them in for what they are ☺️

No need to thank me ๐Ÿ’• 
Exactly! but hey! everything came together eventually ๐Ÿ˜Š You integrated yourself in a great community and met some pretty sweet people! (and we became friends ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’•). It was kinda hard and a slap in the face really, I was forced to get out of my comfort zone and try to get out there, but it also helped me become better friends with some school friends, which was good ๐Ÿ‘ฝ

K: hey I'm driving Charli home, I'm sorry I hope you don't mine ๐Ÿ˜”

B: Hi, sorry my phone had died 

But yeah it's alright 
I'm sorry 

B: ( I wanted to finish typing this from earlier regardless f what happened, i'm sorry and I don't know what's up now (which worries me). But I hope we can still talk)

Awww I sure hope so. Man If I can be that to someone else the way John (and so many other people) was to me then I everything I've out into it would be more than worth it. 

I mean I defiantly like them from the songs I've heard! But I've never really dug deep at all, it's just been casual listening to them. Maybe I just need to listen to one of their records all the way through. You said animals was your favorite right?? I'll definitely give it a shot ๐Ÿ˜Ž
I really don't know much about post-rock either, and all the post rock bands i like are the big names in the genre hahaha. But yeah if you want to check it out listen to "raise yr skinny fist like antenna to heaven" by Godspeed you! Black emperor, that's my favorite, mogwai would be my next favorite band and then explosions in the sky. But like I said I don't know much about the genre at all hahaha , I just love those few, but they're worth a shot!
Yes! Exactly, it's just so spiritual and you really can get a connection just through that, I love it so much. Again that's me just adoring anything that I can feel the passion and love in. 
And yeah it's really interesting, there's just so much going on in them, and there's so many interesting creatures and deities they have. I have a book of Swedish fairy tales if you want to leaf though it borrow it some time. (Plus the illustrations are from John Bauer who is my favorite golden age children's book illustrator ๐Ÿ’•) oooohh! Yes I will give that a listen!

Yeah, me too, I wish we still had that. Cause I'm not really close with either or my parents now, we have next to nothing in common. Sometimes we bond over guitar and playing music, but that kinda tends to run into the same wall that listening to music does for us.  I mean he'll still listen to the stuff he used to, but It's not the same anymore, I wish it was, I really do.
No I understand you're not directing it towards him (although, he's a pretty good example) no but that really disgusts me too, i never understood the need to be "manly" and frankly I lt kinda disgusts me that being a man means being someone one who's really sexual, assertive, forceful and a "rape promoter" (like how they're supposed to think it's cool to force people to have sex or talk them into it or say that they're 'owed' it for any reason) why do people think that's okay??? I don't care what you do sex is never 'owed'.
Yeah I can get heated about it as well (clearly haha)
Our parents really would get along too well. Mine are that way with kaitlyn, it's really shitty. Always asking her why she isn't more feminine or calling her butch. It pisses me off
And I hate that that view of feminine is synonymous with dependent

Nonono, I know what you mean!

Okay, I just didn't know if I  worded that well, but you got me!๐Ÿ˜Š

You should! Will defiantly let you know when! 
That's okay, I understand! I wouldn't expect you to flake out like that for a show anyhow, that's not cool.  But next time, for sure๐Ÿ’•

It's upsetting me too, I'll miss you a ton (even though we've known each other for such a short time) 
You should come sometime, it's such a lovely little town. I fell in love when I visited it. (It's edinboro, but edinborough is a town/school in Scotland!)
That'll be cool! I hope he appreciates having a rad sister!( and doesn't miss out on it till it's late like I did)
Yeah, I guess we never thought we had anything in common, and we both hung out with completely different people. I regret not trying to get to be friends earlier.
Very very true. we've just gotta learn to appreciate those little dream like snippets in time while they're still real.

๐Ÿ’–☺ it did all come together, and I couldn't be happier about it๐Ÿ˜Š
(And yes๐Ÿ’• yes we did. And I'm so grateful we did. I don't think I've ever talked to anyone like this before, and I've enjoyed learning about you so much.)
Yeah that would be tough, all at the same time, people leaving the school. But hey! Everything turned out just fine.

And again, I'm sorry if I made it awkward or anything earlier. I was having a such a lovely time, and I'd been looking forward to that for what seemed like fooooreeeever . I'm upset it got cut short.
And I hope we can still talk, go out again soon!?!

K: Let's just wait and you'll see, it'll all be worth it ☺️๐Ÿ’•

Casual or not casual, they're the bomb (yes...the bomb hahah). Yeah! Animals and then it's Piper at the Gates of Dawn (which is their first album and like their early stuff it's more psychedelic-y then their later stuff) let me know what you think ✨๐Ÿ‘ฝ 
I'll definitely check that out!! Ooooh I actually have heard of Explosions in the Sky! they play at the Rams head ALL the time. 
Yes yes yes!! something about things people devote their soul and hearts to are so intriguing and alluring. 
I'd love to look through it and read it sometime!! I only really know the fairy tales from the Brothers Grimm, it'd be awesome (and enriching) to read Swedish ones ๐Ÿ˜Š (and become aquatinted with John Bauer's work) 

(side note: I just love and admire how you're into all these genres of music, bands, types of literature, art and many other things that I don't know or am well informed about and I'd love to know more about them and you. that's it ๐Ÿ˜Š) 

Maybe it's that whole awkward "teenage thing" where parents and their kids don't get along and then they do when their kids grow up??? (idk that's what I keep telling myself bc I don't really get along with my parents either so I'm hoping maybe in the future we'll have more in common). I really go hope you do find some common ground and something to bond over even if you two are very different. 
Yes!!! that's exactly what I mean! and that whole "owed" sex thing kind of ties to that "friend zone" thing that I've heard and seen a lot of guys bitch about (aka a girl doesn't want to have sex with them or have anything more than a friendship and they feel betrayed bc somehow they DESERVE to be fucked or whatever...idk if that made any sense hahah). That whole issue can get me on a roll if you get me heated enough damn. 
Jesus ๐Ÿ˜“ I don't want any of that to go to Kaitlyn's head or alter the way she feels and looks about herself bc I know it did to me for the longest time ever until I realized that I didn't have to listen or take of my parents shit (mostly my mom). 

Ok sweet! ๐Ÿ‘ฝ 
No I usually stick to what I say and plan to do! (unless something really comes up, yenno?). Of course ☺️๐ŸŽถ๐Ÿ’š 

God I'll miss you too ๐Ÿ˜” (Such a short time and I've gotten to know a little about you, but more than other people I've known for years)! I will I promise! I love little towns, I remember growing up and watching Gilmour Girls, wanting to live in those close-knit towns somewhere in New England hahah (this was when I lived in a city) (Easton is super cute too, but yenno) (hahaha whoops. I might have to go there too!) 
Awwww you are too much ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ˜ (no I want him to grow up knowing that he has a friend in me always!)
The good thing is that she's your sister and she'll always be in your life no matter what! so this is just the beginning and it's going to get better from here ๐Ÿ˜Š but weren't you guys friends even when you were little? 
Mhm ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ’ญ✨

(I haven't shared things like this with anyone either, and I'm really happy that I could tell you and you won't judge and give genuine feedback and share yourself as well, so thank you ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜Š) 
Exactly! we just gotta look at the positive side of things 

You didn't make it awkward at all. It was just the entire situation that was weird. I'd been looking forward to this, but then Tim sat with us and I don't know if it was just me, but I didn't feel to comfortable with him there because I just wanted to talk to you. But with Charli, I don't know ๐Ÿ˜” I feel bad bc she's my friend so I can't just ignore her especially now that she's distraught. However, what am I suppose to do...I felt in a weird position. I was honestly going to drop her off and then hang out with you, but I got distracted (per usual while I'm driving) and yeeeeaah that ended us up where it did. I don't want to stop talking to you, I swear. No matter what anyone says. This whole day was just weird, I'm sorry ๐Ÿ˜“ Can we try it again soon? 


B: ๐Ÿ’•

Okey dokey (ohhh man I have such a long list of things to listen to/watch from you, it's so exciting!)
But yeah I'll listen to those two and Letcha know!

Yeah, explosions is constantly touring, they're good but they're actually my least favorite if those three. (But GY!BE ohhh man, it's like a religious experience for me) 
They are, I love it! It's really such a beautiful thing for someone who can give themselves to something else completely like that. 
Ooohhh brothers Grimm is really sweet too! But this stuff is a lot different from that. Still really interesting though. ( his work is sick! His best pieces are all these little trolls, oh man it's sweet, he and author rackham kill me [i also went though a children's book illustration phase])

Aww mannn, thanks! You're too sweet๐Ÿ’•
I just go through little phases a lot where I get really interested in something random and I try to learn as much I can about it. (So I kinda just end up knowing a little but about a whole bunch of stuff hahaha) but I mean I love talking about them, as long as someone will listen haha ๐Ÿ˜Š ( and I want to get to know more about you as well)

I don't know, it could be that. I never connected with my mom though, but I can see growing up and getting along with my dad again, I kinda hope it's something like that as well.
I hope you'll find something To bond with yours as well. And i mean you can always fall back to jamming to some flamenco /classical guitar with your parents  too
No, you make perfect sense, I know exactly what you mean, you're right it'a the "friendzone" and the "nice guy" syndrome. It's really twisted tbh like you're not a nice guy, you're a sexoffender, that's the farthest thing from a genuinely nice guy in my eyes. I better slow down before I get really into this over texts though hahaha.
I don't think kaitlyn lets it bother her too much anymore, she's a tough kid. But every once in a while Barbra will say Something reaaaaly shitty and it'll get to her. 
That's very true! And
I look forward to it. And god no, when we were little we fought all of the Time hahaha

You're welcome ☺and thank you for the same thing. I'm really glad we have this.๐Ÿ’– Like you said, I've known people for years that I haven't talked to this much 

Yeah the whole thing was a bit rough, Tim made me feel a bit uneasy too.
And yeah, I understand, I'm sorry you had to be put in that position, that's really not fair. 
And I knew charli wouldn't be too happy seeing us together, but, yenno, I don't know what to say. People move on and change, I'm just bummed that seeing them kinda threw the night off track. But oh well, it's over now, I'm not going to worry.
Okay, good ☺ (sorry I just get worried easily sometimes, idk) 
But don't be sorry, cause it's not your fault at all.
And yes I would love nothing more๐Ÿ˜Š(maybe next time we can go to the beanery instead of rise up hahaha, it tends to be a bit more private) 

K: (psssssh it can't be THAT long, but yenno just tryna show you things that I feel are important to me in some way or another ☺️) Sweet ok!! 

At least they're in the top 3! have you ever seen them live before? (Ooooh I'm going to give them a try, maybe I'll live that religious experience vicariously through their music hahah). Cool!! What are some of the main differences between b. Grimm and Swedish fairy tales? I'll definitely have to check that book out whenever I can and read it! (I looked up his little trolls and holy shit they're like weirdly scary but mystical and kind of beautiful? John Bauer is Swedish too isn't he? [I've never actually met anyone who's been to a children's book illustration phase, that's so freakin cool ๐Ÿ‘ฝ])   

See I thinks that so admirable!! I usually get so distracted and get off track so I just surface dabble on all these different things, it's a blessing (dabbling) and a curse (getting distracted) hahaha. Don't worry I gotchu ๐Ÿ˜Š✌️ Listening and learning about just pretty much ANYTHING is probably my favorite thing ever, it never hurts to broaden your horizons ๐ŸŒž 

That's good and I really hope that you do in any way possible, with your dad and mom. Thanks! same here ๐Ÿ˜Œ We'll see what happens between us in the future. Hahaha I can see that! Let's just leave this conversation for the future when we talk in person. 
I'm glad she stays above it! and I want her to keep being tough through whatever your mom may say to her bc she's extraordinary. But it only gets better (or maybe we become more apathetic as we grow older hahaha) 
Oh Jesus I should've known! (all siblings close in age that I've met hated each other when they were younger) 


No no, it's ok. I guess I saw it coming for a while now and it had to happen sometime (running into Charli and talking to them about it). Oh my, that really bummed me out too (so freakin bad ๐Ÿ˜ฉ), but again I felt like I needed to talk to them before things got weirder. We can try again soon though!!!
(No don't worry ☺️ I couldn't just drop this - or us - bc of a weird situation ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ’•) 
๐Ÿ’— (hahaha YEAH I don't think Rise Up is the ideal location right after school tbh... but the beanery sounds ๐Ÿ‘Œ☺️)

B: No, it's really not that long, and I dig it anyhow! If it's stuff that's important to you then it's definitely worth giving a shot, plus it helps me get to know you better! (So it's a win-win) ๐Ÿ’•

No! I've never seen any post rock shows, I would loooove to though, I was supposed to see Thee silver mount Zion memorial orchestra last month( I forgot to mention them, they're a GY!BE side project, they're super cool too) but anyhow, the plans fell through (seems to be a recurring thing for me hahaha)
Maybe you will have that kind of experience! It's such a great record and really easy to get lost in. It's best if you can just chill and listen to it, but it's kinda long.
I haven't ready many brothers Grimm stories so I don't have too much to compare to, but I think the  Grimm stories Tend to be darker. The Swedish ones (at least the ones I've read) are all a bit on the lighter side, they're more like the kind of story you'd just read to a kid, they tend to have really clear morals( about hard work and things of that sort) it's definitely worth looking through though!
Yes! I love them, the trolls are all so charming to me, I don't know why, but I just adore them so much! And yes, he's Swedish, but he studied In the UK at the royal academy ๐Ÿ’•✨
(Yeah I've never met anyone else into it, it's kinda a random thing to be into. But thank you ๐Ÿ˜Š)

It's cool sometimes, but sometimes it ends up distracting me, I always get too caught up in something and it just keeps me away fr what I should be doing ๐Ÿ˜…
That's pretty lovely though, moving between stuff like that keeps your brain moving and exposes you to all kinds of different stuff.
I'm glad you understand ๐Ÿ’•i love that as well, you can just never experience too many things and you can't know about too much.learning is just so great ๐Ÿ˜Š and you can't have too broad of a horizon.

I'm sure something'll happen, but like you said, we've just gotta wait and see.
That sounds like a good idea ✌ some other time we'll continue this.
It is really awesome that she's risen above that, I'm proud of her for that! You're right she really is awesome And definitely doesn't deserve that.
I've thought about that before, maybe we just do become apathetic, is that what growing up is all about? I hope not certainly. But maybe that's the difference between the few and the many yenno? Who becomes apathetic and who holds onto the youthful spark of wanting change and new things.
True, it's just the nature of things. I think it's partly just a jealousy thing between siblings 


I mean I knew it would come as well, I just didn't think it would be so soon. But I guess it's kinda good that it's out in the open now. And we don't have to worry about dealing with then finding out later and being upset.  It was a bummer, but I understand. 

( thank you. I don't know I just get worried too easily sometimes. And I felt really bad that you got out in the middle of it because you really don't deserve it. I'm sorry for that again. But I like you a lot, and I just don't want anything like that messing it up either)
No, not at all, you always run into someone there. Plus the beanery is really nice and we can just sit on the tables out there and chat as long as we want in peace. (And that's all I really want๐Ÿ’•)
Do you think we can try again this week sometime? I know Saturday won't work for you, but any other days?? Cause I'm pretty free. 

K: I'm happy that you're taking the time to try and get to know the things I love and admire (especially since I know how it feels to want to know/know you a little better through what you have suggested I try/listen to/read/watch/etc...) it means so much, thank you ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’• 

Ew plans falling through is one of the worst things (why couldn't you go?) but hopefully you'll get to see someone soon ✌
I started listening to Lift Your Skinny Fists like Antennas to Heaven yesterday (and I was really
digging it!) but I was also studying so I wasn't paying too much attention to it, so like you said I'm going to try it when I have some time to myself (maybe I'll hide in my car and listen to it ☺️). 
Yeeeeah b.Grimm stories do have a tendency to be dark hahah, but I'll give Swedish fairy tales a try! Maybe I'll like them better, maybe both the same in their own ways, who knows :~) 
Well their beautiful illustrations, I don't blame you, but it may be one of those things that just hits you hard for some reason unknown and you just love it so much without any explanation and others may not receive it the same way you do (sometimes I feel like that with books or films) (I don't know if I made any sense/worded it right???)
(It is! but it's interesting ☺️) 

I see how that would be a problem hahaha. Thanks! you're doing the exact same thing! except you go more in depth whereas I move on very quickly ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Exactly!! ☺️

No she doesn't! 
That's something that's always worried me for some reason. I don't want to become one of those many that becomes apathetic towards life, but sometimes I worry that I'm too lax about most things in general that one day that all of that becomes apathy and I won't realize when. It's weird. 
Yes that makes sense, I see that in my brothers (considering they're 2 years apart). My brothers and I have a pretty large age gap, I guess I've always had (and will have) a different relationship (not a bad one, of course) with them than they do with each other. 

Yeah it was pretty soon and it wasn't too pretty, but now lets just look at the positive side of things and go from there ☺️✨ (like you said, not having to worry about them finding out later).
(it's ok, in one way or another I was going to be in the middle, but I'm not worrying too [and you shouldn't either] much bc all I know is that I like you and no one can make me change my mind ๐Ÿ’•). 
And the days are suppose to get warmer this week, so that's always a plus! Of course! and we will (☺️). 
We can have another coffee date on Thursday until I babysit at 5 if that works for you? ๐Ÿ’— if that doesn't work out, maybe Sunday??? 


B: Well of course! Why wouldn't I? (And if you're taking the time to suggest then the least I could do is follow through with it!) it's such a great way to get to know anyone, I think you can get to know people on such a different more intimate level through sharing your interests vs just talking and stuff.
You're more than welcome. And the same to you ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜š

It is the worst ๐Ÿ˜
The People I was supposed to go with bailed on it. (It was my friend Sam and a few others, but when Sams involved stuff usually doesn't work out,  he's kind of a flake) 
AHHH yess, I'm glad you're liking it so far! It's a really good album for that, I listen to it a lot when I'm reading/doing homework/painting. it's completely different if you can just lose yourself in it for a little while.   

Yeah, each has their own charm to them, I enjoy both!
They are lovely pieces, and I think that's pretty much it, I just felt some love/connection to it for no apparent reason. ( I feel ya, maybe we all have something like that?)
(And yeah I think that was worded fine, or at least I got what you were saying) 

Yeaahhh haha, oh well. At least it's somewhat productive. We do pretty much the same thing

I worry about the same thing, like I worry about losing my determination and drive and giving in to taking it easier. I don't want to be that person at all, I think I worry about it too much. It's not weird, I think that's a pretty natural concern for anyone who has goals and drive.

That's an even smaller gap than kaitlyn and I. Who knows, they may end up getting along and being like kaitlyn and I one day.
I'm sure it's a while different dynamic, I guess with us I never felt like a "big brother" or anything
I feel like that would be cool though!

I agree! Lets just try to put it behind us, I don't want to worry about it if you're not. (I'd rather just focus on us doing our thing now☺)
And yeah that's kinda true, I just wish there was a way you could have not been in the middle, cause you don't deserve to have to deal with that. ( ☺๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ’• and I like you[a lot]. I feel the same, and I'm not going to let anything else effect our relationship)
Oooohhh I hope it does start to get a bit warmer! It'd be so nice to just sit out there a little and then walk around a bit
And yes! So tomorrow after school! I'm excited ☺๐Ÿ’–

K: Aww ๐Ÿ’•☺️ Yes! it's not just KNOWING that the other person likes said thing, but you're experiencing it on your own and you try to understand or at least see why they love viewing it through their eyes (listening/etc...) 

Damn that's sucks! especially when you're so set on going somewhere/doing something. (From what you've experienced with Sam, I think it's best if you have a back up in case he flakes again hahah) 
Seriously! they were so entrancing I looooved it, it was perfect for what I was doing (but I was trying to really listen to them and AP Bio was sucking up all my attention, I'll give them another try later ☺️) 

I love when things happen like that, as in you love something so much you can't really put it in to words or know why ✨

True ✌️

You're aware that giving in is possible, but if you keep that in mind you'll keep wanting to strive for your goals and dreams and reach them ☺️ 

I have a good feeling that they will, even if they have very different personalities. They'll go through all these different stages of their young and adolescent life (and more maybe) together, I can see them being there for each other. I can't wait until they grow a bit older, really ๐Ÿ‘ฝ Maybe not, but you guys are definitely at the friend level, which seems nice bc you're living with your best friend, pretty much. I've always been the "big sister" I love it ๐Ÿ’š

Don't ☺️ (๐Ÿ’•) It's all in the past now! all we can do is move on. 
Yes! I swear I go crazy if I'm in the house on a perfectly warm day, I feel like I need to take a short walk or lay out in the grass for a while, at least ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒž 

So there's this flick premiering tomorrow in Annapolis called Palo Alto (it's Gia Coppola's debut film as a director [and film is in her blood so I have a good feeling about it]) and I was wondering if you wanted to go see it soon? (not tomorrow bc I can't but sometime this/next month? (it's one of those cheesy indie high school films, but I have a weak spot for those hahaha) 

B: Yes!! It's like living in their shoes for a little while. I really don't think there's a better way to get to know someone. 
I still gotta listen to those Floyd albums. I'm gonna do that tonight! (While I'm throwing the last of my ap portfolio together hahaha)

It does, but I've kinda learned not to get my hopes up for plans with most people (true, I should, but usually it's hard to get people to go do these things with me)
Rad! I'm so glad you're digging it! ( we should go up on that roof one night and just give that record a listen, that would be sooooo neat [i can't really think of anything that wouldn't be cooler up there, I might be too stoked about it hahaha])

Me too! I think that you can learn a lot about yourself through things that you like for inexplicable reasons. 
Like the children illustration for me I think is like a noistalgic thing (but like we were talking about earlier, like noistalgic for something I've never actually experienced?? Which is such a weird concept. It's cool to know I'm not the only one who feels that kinda thing though๐Ÿ˜Ž) Idk, it's something to think about though

You're right, it's honestly probably a good thing that I'm concerned about that, because if I wasn't that would be the problem

That's good! I hope they do because now that I have it I realize how valuable it is. I don't think having different personalities would get in the way of that. And either way, kaitlyn and I used to have completely different personalities, and now they're at least somewhat similar.
It is definitely nice, cause I always have someone to talk to when I need to and she does as well. And we have eachothers backs in almost all cases (which keeps us out of trouble a lot of the time)
It must be really cool to be the older sibling too though, with the younger ones looking up to you! I can definitely see why you'd enjoy that. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Okay, and yes! Lets just move on from it, I'm excited for the future๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜š
Meeee too, I can't stand being locked in the house all day, it makes me feel so lame and apathetic. I Have to get out, even if it's just for a few minutes.

Ooohhhh yes I would love nothing more๐Ÿ’•
Sounds interesting (you know way more about movies than I do so if you're into it I'm sure it'll be good!)
I'm off work next Friday, maybe we could do it after school then?? 
(Ohhh yes they're my favorite too๐Ÿ’–✨) 


K: Exactly! 
Sweet!! ๐Ÿ‘ฝ☺️ (floyd is perfect if you want to focus on something [if you pick the right record/song. The one that makes me focused is Animals or Dark Side, but Shine On You Crazy Diamond parts 1-5 is the one song that I play over and over if I want to do my work] btw, how's your portfolio coming along?) 

I'm sorry man ๐Ÿ˜” (It'll probably get easier once you have a car and as for finding someone to do it with you - that's another story hahah [I might have to go to some with you ๐Ÿ˜])
It's hard not to! it's so good! (I'm down for that - it sounds hella rad ๐Ÿ˜ˆ [seriously though! I think you just made my life significantly better by taking me up there, thank you for that ๐Ÿ˜˜ something about trespassing and roofs make everything better hahah][so yeah stargazing this summer while listening LYSFlAtH and Floyd is a must!]) 

True! It's fascinating how we subconsciously know what we really like and appreciate. 
(That's such a great feeling. I like to think that it's those past-life experiences that stay with you when you reincarnate, but that's mostly me just thinking about wack possibilities. I've never actually truly believed in that hahah)

Exactly! If you're not conscious about it, it's much easier to fall out of your "creative path (???)" bc you don't realize it. 

I have a pretty good feeling that they will ๐Ÿ˜Œ. Maybe with age and time (and the fact that you guys are together most of the time) your interests developed simultaneously and/or you learn from each other. 
See I wish I had that with my brothers! but Ian is reaching that age when we can talk and bond or whatever, it's great (I still have the older sibling influence, but a friend relationship as well ๐Ÿ˜Ž

Right! summer is going to be sweeeeeet, we can go on all these outdoor adventures and just be outside most of the time (well, except when you're in the frame shop hahah)

Rad!! Friday sounds perfect, I can't wait ☺️๐Ÿ’œ (they're the best they make me feel so giddy hahah)

B: (Yeah I listened to animals last night! Dogs is such a frickin crazy track [granted it's like half of the album, but yenno] but yeah I like it a lot, I want to give it another listen when I can focus on it more though) I gotta check out the other one you said you liked a lot too (what album is that song on??)
The portfolio is done , but idk I'm not very proud of it, I had to put an incomplete painting and some timed life drawings in there to fill space (the painting doesn't really look unfinished in the photo though, so that's good, it's just not as good as it could have been)
But I'm glad it's done and I can go back to making art for myself

(It will, but the question is when will I get one hahaha [๐Ÿ’• true we have to go to some more together. We've got Mac Demarco, and are you still thinking about going to Tweens or teen mom???])

( AWWW man I'm going to be looking forward to that. Sitting up there at night and listening to that sounds sooooo dreamy[excpet next time I'm bringing a blanket or something to lay on, those rocks suck] [ it's true, just going up there is so exhilarating and then you look down on everything and everything seems so insignificant for a while, I love it. I'm gonna end up being up there too much hahaha] and you're very welcome ☺ I think it made mine better too๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’–)

It really is! That's like the most pure form of enjoying something, because it's completely without any influence from anything outside of you, you just love it because you love it. 
( it is so lovely!! No that's kinda what I think, but it's not quite memories of a past life. I believe we have souls and they go on after we die and eventually attach to another body, but I don't think that our souls have anything physical about them so they don't carry memories or anything like that. i think the only thing that effects your soul are things that are as pure and abstract as the soul. [does that make sense? The way I worded it?] what is your opinion on that though?)

Yeah exactly! Not even just a creative path, but any path with a goal. 

True, I think that's a lot of what happened, the more we stared hanging out the more we became alike.
It's cool that he's getting to that age though, so you kinda have the best of both worlds with that. How much of an age difference is there between you?

Yesssss! That's all I want to do! 
I honestly don't think I'll be working much, they're cutting back hours. I actually get a new schedule tomorrow 
(Which means I might have to double check if Friday will work for the movie ๐Ÿ˜• )
But I can't wait either!!
(Meeee too, Ahhh I love it!)

Okay so just got the new work schedule, I do work next Friday, but I'm off Sunday now!! Is that movie showing Sundays??

K: (It really is! there's just so much going on, it's emotionally overwhelming [in a good way of course] [hahah yes 17 minutes is lengthy, but it's a pretty great 17 minutes ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘Œ] but my favorite song off that record is Pigs (Three Different Ones))  I'm so glad you're liking it ☺️ I love it when people can appreciate things that mean a lot to me. (It's Shine on You Crazy Diamond parts 1-5 and it's on Wish You Were Here).
There's only so much you can do with such a tight time crunch, but I'm sure that for the amount of time you had you have an admirable portfolio ☺️ (that's great! don't you still have have to send in your physical portfolio?). Oh god, the weight that's lifted off shoulders and the sigh of relief once AP assessments are over is a big one ๐Ÿ˜… it's all smooth sailing from here 

(In time, in time ๐Ÿ˜ [I'm soooo psyched for Mac and then there's Deer Tick - which we have to get there some way some how - and yes!! I want to see Tweens so bad and we have to buy those tickets soon if we're going to go. I'm not too sure about Teen Mom though) 

(So will I๐Ÿ‘ฝ✨๐Ÿ’• [yes please! the rocks weren't bothersome at the moment, it was the crazy red marks afterwards that were obnoxious] [Its almost surreal, like a moving image of some sort and all that's real is us and anything or anyone up on the roof. It's a nice little spot, I don't blame you ๐Ÿ˜Œ✨] ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’š) 

I couldn't have said it any better! (No no I completely understand what you mean! I feel what you're saying makes a lot of sense, but honestly I haven't thought too much about to form an opinion or a complete thought about it. I don't really know if I believe in a form of after-life or post-death kind of thing, but also I don't really think life just ends abruptly. I guess I'm just dazed and confused about that subject ๐Ÿ˜”

True, true! 

That's so cool! Well you guys are both pretty rad so thank god it happened that way ✌️
Exactly, and about 7 years.

And that's what will happen! ☺️ The cutting back of your hours can be both a blessing (more free time before college!! and in general) and a curse (less money?? [for rad shows and pipe tobacco hahah]).
I'm working so much this summer it's going to suck up so much of my time ๐Ÿ˜“ but I'll still take off and fit in what I want to do someway or another. 
Noooo ๐Ÿ˜ข but Sundays are perfect!! those are the days my family is usually busy doing their own thing so they don't need me to do anything with or for them, so Sundays can be pretty lax ☺️ I'll check if it is though and I'll let you know
B: (There is a lot going on, that's what I like, it's so like long and winding, there was one guitar lead near the middle/end of it that played for a bit that I realllly was vibeing with) me too! Thank you for suggesting them to me!! So I've gonna listen to that song and then pipers at the gates of dawn, then check out that Greek dance album!
Yeahhh, it could have been better if I had paced myself better during the year, but really I feel like a lot of my problem getting motivated for that class was the teacher and just the vibe in st mikes, like I just really don't like it down there and I don't really have much of a desire to do work for ms whited. But yeah I feel like my portfolio was at least decent.(yeah I already sent the physical part too, it's only 5 select pieces) Yesss it's such a relief, for the rest of high school all I have to worry about is my calc final and finishing that painting. ๐Ÿ˜Š

( Yes, I couldn't be more excited, plus we're going with such a lovely little group, oh boy, I can't waiiiitttt! Check if you're allowed to go to deer tick and I'll make sure if I'm off work, We can make it happen! I'm pretty much down for any show [especially If I get to spend it with you๐Ÿ˜˜])

๐Ÿ’–( no they didn't bother me too much, I wasn't really paying that any mind [๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’•]  that's exactly what it is! It's like looking down at some strange movie for a little bit and (cheesy as it sounds) everything just melts away for a bit.[and it was just so much better with you there, I can't wait to go back at night with you when it's all quiet and stuff, ohhh man]๐Ÿ’–☺)

( see I think about it a lot, I love philosophy of the soul and like metaphysics and stuff, it's really interesting. I didn't get into it until I had someone to talk about it with and read plato's republic. It's cool, there's just so many ideas about it and so much to think about, I still don't really know exactly what I believe, I'm still figuring it out. )

Haha well thanks๐Ÿ˜ŽI'm glad it worked out how it did too.

Yeah I mean the more free time is cool, but idk what I'm going to do with it all, like I don't want to sit at the house all the time. I mean some days I'll come see you on your break or whatever, and I have a few people I can chill with. I just don't Wana be home a lot. Yeah I won't be making as much, but tobacco is cheap and I have a concert ticket fund set aside hahahaha
Yeah! You can't let work get in the way of your last summer before college, you gotta make it kickass!
I know! Frickin of course right ๐Ÿ˜ž
I gotta see if my mom minds if I miss our "Sunday family dinner" though ughhhhh
Even if it isn't we could hang out that Sunday and do something๐Ÿ’•!
We should see if we can do something one night this week as well if you want?! Maybe Monday? 


K: (I'm really glad you dig it!! Yes yes yes, oh my god ☺️ [David Gilmour is really something on the guitar, let me tell ya] No problem, you're welcome! Ok ☺️

Oh yeah Ms Whited tssssk you've told me about her ๐Ÿ˜ณ What is the vibe like at St. Mikes? like are they really pretentious or just don't take anything seriously? Well that's all that matters now! if you some confidence in your work then you'll be fine ๐Ÿ˜Š Oooh that's not really anything! 2 weeks to brush up on calc is enough time and your painting is coming along great ✨ All I have to do is finish my AP Bio exam Monday, this poster on GMOs for a symposium on the 20th and some project for lit that we're starting Monday (idk what it is yet but it can't be too bad).

(Oh I knooow I'm really looking forward to going with everyone! I've actually never been to a show in a group, it's always been with one or two other people, so this is new and exciting ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I will! but it will be a lot of convincing bc it's on a school night. WAIT maybe not since it will be our last week of school??? I also kind of STILL have to ask about camping in OC tsssssk I'm trying to catch my parents in a really lax mood hahah. I'm with you there [๐Ÿ˜☺️๐Ÿ’•])  

[☺️✨] (no no! it doesn't sound cheesy at all, that's how it seemed and I actually find it really cute and rad) [awww ๐Ÿ˜˜ it was amazing just being up there with you despite the hot ass sun on us. It's going to be unbelievable at night, I can't wait!! ๐Ÿ’•])

(It does seem really interesting! All those ideas and theories out there work as a guides that influence our stance and beliefs on the soul and what it entails. There's so many out there, I have to start looking on my own to help shape and/or my own thoughts on the subject, everything is a blur around there right now [or just simply be exposed to others beliefs, yenno?] The simple fact that you're exposing yourself to a myriad of ideas will help you figure your own one day ๐Ÿ˜Š) 

Yeah I totally understand how that would suck (that's the reason I decided to get a job last summer, being in the house all day hella bummed me out [especially in Cordova]). But maybe you can use your free time to try things you've always wanted to do? Maybe a bucket list (as corny as it sounds hahah). Yep 9-12 everyday ☺️ Oh my you are set for those concerts are you hahah (that's actually a really good idea, I might need to do that). 
It will I promise! oh my god hahaha I forgot about those!! maybe we can go some other time? Yes Monday sounds perfect ๐Ÿ’• and if you're not doing anything Thursday we could do that too ☺️

B: [he really is, I never realized how sweet some of their guitar work was] I'm definitely stoked to hear more 

Yeaahhh, she's the first teacher in high school I've had that I didn't like.
There it just feels really lax, like no one takes at thing seriously, and everything's a game. Idk, that's nice sometimes but not all day every day.
That's true! Yeah I'm not too worried about calc, but that painting (even though it's doing well so far) has a looooong way to go. And thank you๐Ÿ’•✨.
That's not too bad either, I'm sure you'll be just fine for ap bio (as long as you write everything you're supposed to this time ๐Ÿ˜‹) a poster isn't too bad, and I'm sure you'll kick ass when you present the symposium! And if you have the last few weeks for that lit project it should be no problem! 

(Ahhhh yess, it's going to be the best time๐Ÿ’– I've only been with a large group once [besides to local shows] but it was so much fun! I'm stoked to do it again!) 
Yeaahhh, come on it's the night before the last day of school!  (And then we're going canoeing on Friday kaitlyn said??) 
Ohhh man it's getting close, you gotta ask! And Matt said Taylor and kenia are coming too?!? That's gonna be so much fun (we gotta book our own camping spot though)

( okay, that's good! Cause that's how it felt to me, it's so serene up there ๐Ÿ˜Œ) [☺ awww. (It was oretty unbelievable being up there with there the first time) It will be sooo perfect at night though. But next time we go during the day I'm bringing sun screen or something hahaha  I can't wait either) 

( it's so interesting! A lot of people don't even think it is though, I don't understand how all this is here and happening and you don't wonder about it Nd search for new knowlage, or how people just accept a simple explanation for it and don't ever question it. Maybe you just need to start reading up on some different theories and see what sparks your interest! ๐Ÿ˜ŠTrue! And I just keep trying to find out what more people think about it so I can keep building up my ideas, and when I go to college  I'm sure that will help a lot [i want to minor in philosophy of religion])

It really would be a bummer. But I'll probably hit Taylor up sometimes too. It's just that most of my friends are really flakey ๐Ÿ˜ž so I never end up hanging with them when I have the time off. A bucket list could be cool though. ( that's not corny at all) 
I am haha I always have something set aside in case a show comes up, I miss enough of em, I don't want to have to miss any more because. I can't afford it.  ( it might be a good idea) 
Oh I didn't forget, those dinners are going to put a damper on so many plans ughh
And nope, I'm off Monday Wednesday and Thursday night this week! So both will work! 
On Monday maybe we can finally go to that book store and out to dinner! ( and maybe up to the roof when it starts to get dark๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ˜˜) 

K: Sweeeet! 

No no, fooling around and not taking anything seriously is pretty fun sometimes, but not for classes that actually need to be taken seriously. Especially AP art for you since you want to get a degree in art.
That's good hahah I know if that were me taking the test I'd probably cry. I'm excited to see what it looks like when it's done eeeeee ☺️
Yeah I'll try to study up as much as I can these next two days, but frankly I think I've done all I can. What I know now is all I've got (hahah oh my I'll try my best to). Not at all! all I have to do is make the poster and myself look pretty and we're Gucci ✌️ exactly! (plus lit projects are always pretty cool and enjoyable) 

(Rad!! ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ’š) That's actually so convenient and perfectly timed! so if I convince my parents tonight that I can drive myself to shows they might be cool with it ๐Ÿ˜Ž (we are? ok sweet I'm down) 
Yes! I'll try to pull some strings and make my best whiny/pouty face, I NEED to go. Yes they are! (ok I'll talk to them tonight or tomorrow ☺️)

(๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ’•✨) (The nighttime will be perfect; calm and cool ๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŒœ[I'd love to sleep up there one night, but I'm afraid I'll roll around until I fall right off ๐Ÿ˜ฎ]. Sunscreen, an umbrella, a tent, a tarp, anything to keep you shaded hahaha. 

(I think it's peoples apathy about the subject or them deciding to take the easy way out - believing everything that is spoon-fed to them. I'm going to check out some different books soon and read them this summer ๐ŸŒž yes I think you will too! they have courses, clubs, interest meetings, etc... about it so you can always find a nice group of people to talk with [that's so cool! it would definitely open you up to even more theories and ideas and just a myriad of things])

Taylor is always down for anything so you got her there ✌️ ugh that really sucks, but hopefully they'll come through now that it's going to be summer? Make one! Yeah that's hella lame [and then there's the not having a ride situation].
Well you're only going to have to be at them for a bit, so anytime before and after, you should be good [that is if you stay local]. 
Oh hey Mondays and Thursdays are perfect as we've established and Wednesday we could hang out at open mic for a bit! maybe do something else if you want. I'd love to go there! I need to get a birthday gift and a thank-you-for-everything gift for Mr Biringer (and find some stuff for myself) (I'd love that ๐Ÿ˜✨)


B: Yeah exactly, I mean I love a class that I can goof around in and unwind sometimes. But really like sometimes people need to be serious and just do some work. I just can't learn or focus at all in that environment, like it was pretty bad, I couldn't even do art when I was there cause the vibe just threw me off so much. 
I'm just not too worried about that test cause I don't need that much to pass the test ( and no matter how high I score I can't get an A)
I'm pretty stoked to see how it comes out too, this is the first painting I've done that I really like
Yeah, it's probably best not to try to cram anything the night before the exam anyway.  See, there ya go, a poster is no problem ( and you always look gorgeous, so that's no problem๐Ÿ˜š) 

Ahhhh sweeet!! So we'll probably be good! ( i mean, that's what kaitlyn told me, she said she had been talking to you about it) okay good ๐Ÿ˜Š you do have to go, and I mean, come on would they say no? Like you could be going to senior week like everyone else and being stupid drunk for a whole week, but instead you're camping for a few days, they should be down.

(Yes! And if it's a clear night all the stars will be out and it'll be so pretty ๐Ÿ˜ [ that sounds like a great time, We should do it! I don't think we'd roll off, plus if we're really concerned about it we could sleep on one of those lower flat platforms.] trueee, bring everything, I'll be up there looking like a mid-age white woman at the beach with a chair,  an umbrella, a big ol' cooler (probably some risquรฉ vampire novel) hahaha)

( that's true, it could be, it's just easiest to take the solution that's there first/surrounds you. [i'm not particularly saying that that means it's "wrong" but I don't understand people who never question anything, I think all religions have something right/worth learning in them ]  you should! Check out the republic by Plato if you want, that was the one that got me started [ it's kinda boring to read, but it's interesting none the less]  I'm so looking forward to emerging myself in that at school![the only thing I worry about is that a lot of people into philosophy only get into it to argue, they're not there because of the love of knowledge] )

True!! Mmmmm maybe, I sure hope so, cause I miss a lot of them, it seems like I make an effort to hang with a lot of people but the only time I actually end up seeing them is when I just run into them. I think I will [ well I'm looking at cars/insurance now, so maybe I'll  have one soon!!] 
Yeah true, so I guess it's not thaaaat bad it's just an inconvenience.
Okay, so Monday and Thursday it is! I'm good for Wednesday too(we don't have to go to open mic if you don't want to though[i'm good as long as we can hang for a bit ๐Ÿ’• ]  
Sounds like a perfect plan then! (๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜Š)

Oh, and how was sweetliife?? Who'd you guys go and see?

K:  No of course! Yeah the atmosphere and environment is a big influence on any kind of work, but now you don't have to worry about that and you can paint for Mr. Crist and yourself ๐Ÿ‘ฝ 
Isn't it weird how for all of high school (and even before then) we work and learn order to get a A (or maybe even settle for a B+) (well for me, at least) and now we've reached the point where we try to retain what we can and simply passing would be more than enough hahah. 
How long do you think it'll take you to finish it? 
(Awww you're too much ๐Ÿ’•✨) 

So I'm good to go to the show I'm just trying to convince my mom to let me drive (she's not being stubborn, she's just like "aww my girl is getting older let me give you a ride for a last time" hahah). (She has! so canoeing it is ☺️)
Yeeeeeah I'm still trying to figure that out. I talked to my mom about it she's not up for it and it's mostly that stupid "oh you're a girl you can't be out by your self" argument (which is making me very angry and upset) but I feel like if I work them a bit more they'll give in. That's what I told them! I'm not going to senior week where all people do is drink - instead I'm being "responsible". 

(ahhhh clear nights are beautiful! you need to come out to Cordova in the summer and see them, they're unbelievable ✨๐Ÿ’š [lmao ok, it won't be too much of a concern] make sure to bring your floppy hat too (oh god hahaha I'll let you borrow my copy of 50 Shades of Grey, don't worry) 

([yes exactly! and we're in no place to judge anyone on their beliefs in the first place] [but sometimes people do question things, however (I've seen from experience) they shrug it off and say something like "oh it's just God" or "that's how things are meant to be" and accept no further explanation. It's frustrating and sad]. 
I'll check it out soon! [boring but with worth it]
[I see how that could be a worry of yours, and to be honest you most likely will encounter people that are more argument lenient than for the knowledge, but you'll also find people who are there to broaden their horizons, you just have to find those people ๐Ÿ˜Œ) 

I hope you do too ๐Ÿ˜” friends can be lame some times. [ooooh!! did you find out how much insurance was going to be for you?]
Yep! (if you want to go we can! [me too ☺️])

It is pretty chill! It was a nice day and it was nice to get back in that festival atmosphere. It rained for a while so that was kind of refreshing! Tbh, I wasn't really looking forward to seeing anyone (I didn't really like anyone playing), but Lana Del Rey did catch my eye (I thought it'd be cool to see her). But idk it was fun, but not worth what I paid for. It wasn't the actual festival itself, it was just not my cup of tea. I did see this and called Gems that are from DC and they were pretty sweet ๐Ÿ‘ฝ also Bombay Bicycle Club which just fulfilled my 9th grade desire to see them ✌️

B: True! And I am very excited about that, I'm bout to get back on my game๐Ÿ˜Ž
It is weird, like I remember last year freaking out about a B and now I'm kinda just like, yeahhh let me pass. I mean I'm already in the college I want to be in, I've learned pretty much everything I'm going to from high school. So we've just gotta get through it now. 
Ohhh man, well the school art show is Thursday and mr Crist said it had to be done in time for that. It's going to be tight getting it done ๐Ÿ˜
(Nahhh ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’• it's just true) 

Sweeet!! ( aww that's cute though!) well even If your mom were to go with us it'd be a good time hahaha. So is it just us going?? I'll go ahead and get tickets! (Awesome! That's going to be soooo fun๐Ÿ’•) 
That's not cool :( you won't be out by yourself though,  you'll be with taylor, kenia and I. You'd be perfectly safe.  I'm going to be beyond bummed if you can't go ๐Ÿ˜ž
I'm surprised she didn't even go for the responsibility thing, Mannn 
I hate that she's saying you can't do it yourself cause you're a girl, that's so fricking stupid.

( for sure! That sounds so lovely, maybe we can camp out there sometime soon๐Ÿ˜Š [my thought is that I don't roll that much in my bed, so why would I on the roof, I really want to do that now though]  will do! And a really big pair of sunglasses [oh perfect, that's even better]

( yeah that' what I'm saying, like I defiantly would never put anyone down for their faith whatever it be [so long as they don't abuse their stance/use it as a crutch, cause that just eats me up]  [ I feel you on that too, it's just another "easy way out" kinda thing, idk.)
It is worth it, it was a game changer for me, it just opened me up to so
Yeah, and I mean I was kinda expecting that, mr Crist even warned me that a lot of philosophy people are like that, I've just gotta search out the good ones and surround myself with them, like you said, let then help broaden my horizons and I'll try to help them.

They can be, but we'll just have to see I guess. [ I'm working on it! I should know some more this week!]  ( well we'll just play it by ear then and see what happens (๐Ÿ’•))

That's awesome! I'm glad you had a good time ☺ 
Yeah that lineup seemed lame as heck, but oh well at least you got to hang out and all!  And fulfilling that desire to see a band you've always wanted to see must be sooooo cool! [ I still have yet to fulfill mine, in 8th grade I had an obsession with motion city soundtrack (and I still dig them hahaha) but i still really want to see them and feel that nostalgia]  

K: ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ‘Œ 
Exactly! We can't really learn much more so might as well enjoy the rest of high school and take in what you will miss when you leave. And as long as my grade averages to a 70 we're Gucci ๐Ÿ˜Ž
Are people allowed to come to the art show? If so, what time? I might stop by ☺️ 

(It is kind of cute hahah) No she wouldn't come WITH us, she'd just drive (oh god I would be so embarrassed if she did, but luckily she's never done that or cared enough to). I think so! unless someone else was planning on tagging along!? I still gotta make sure it's 100% I'm going (I'll let you know ASAP [i reeeeeally want to go ๐Ÿ˜Š it should be fun]) 
That's what I'm saying!! I'm still working on them. I swear I can't miss it I'll SO upset and stuck at home when everyone else is gone ๐Ÿ˜”.
Yes! they have these really stupid, sexist double standards. I bet if Ian was my age and wanted to do this, they'd be cool with it. It sucks, but I'll convince them someway somehow. 

(come summer time, it's going to happen ☺️๐ŸŒœ๐Ÿƒ [yeah you won't, plus the roof is really big so there's that! RIGHT!? it sounds too fun and dreamy ✨] oh of course! [duh it's only the best book I've ever almost read]) 

([oh god, when people try to "convert" you or put their faith in your face, or anything in that ballpark, it just pisses me] [exactly] 
And you will! Just gotta put yourself out there in that realm and go with it ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Ž

Yeah, true. (Ok! I hope it's not too bad, I'll check how much we pay to see if I can give you some sort of estimate, but I doubt it'll be somewhat the same bc of the policy type, company, etc. Idk, I'm not too sure about insurances tbh.) (ok ☺️)

Thanks ๐Ÿ‘ฝ
It really was! there was no one I wanted to see, but just enjoying and taking in the day was perfect ๐ŸŒž It is! I think the most fulfilling band I've ever seen after loving them for so long was The Killers (as lame as that is hahaha) (there's still a couple more on my list that I have to see) [Do they still tour!? you need to fulfill that as soon as you can! it's sooo nostalgic and beautiful ๐Ÿ˜Œ (well if you still dig them, then it's nostalgia and current excitement hahah)])

B: Exactly! It's time to just enjoy it for what it is a little bit! And that's what I plan to do
Yeah!! It's Thursday after school sometime (I'll let you know tomorrow what time exactly), I'm probably just going to stop in for a few minutes and see what got picked to go up on display. ( I already see all the work coming out of the visual art department so there's not gonna be much for me to check out) 

Hahaha why would you be embarrassed?? I used to go to shows with my dad all the time ( he usually hated what we were seeing but w/e it was still cool)  I mean I wasn't planning on inviting anyone else, but I was just checking (just us sounds perfect ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜š)  okay, yeah just let me know when you figure it out, no rush! ( I want to too, it'll be excellent!!) 
I'm sure you'll be able to convince them, I mean comeeee on it's your senior year, this is like your celebration for all the work of high school, how can they say no? Really? I'm sure it'll all work out, we'll all be able to go and it'll be the best!
Yeah i know what you mean. That doesn't make any sense to me, that makes you no less capable of taking care of yourself. Ugh. I guess you really just gotta assure them that you're going with good people who care a lot about you and that you'll be safe ๐Ÿ’•✨

( yesssss ✌✨[ true it is a big roof, we'll be good. It does, it sounds absolutely perfect. To be up there together all night and then waking up up there, oh my goodness yes๐Ÿ’–] )

([ yes, exactly, that kills me. And when people use their religion as an excuse to be ignorant, frick that])
That's what I'm thinking, like if i just live like that, the right way, looking for knowledge not an argument, then it'll be simple to meet good people with a similar mindset 

That's be cool! ( although yeah, there's so many factors that go into it, we may pay completely different premiums[yeah I don't really know anything about it either])  

No, that's not lame ( no one compares in lameness to likening MCST anyhow hahaha)  (who else do you have to see??) 
[ and yeah believe it or not they still your and put out new music hahaha, I almost saw em last year but no one was downtogo see them with me :(] ( I really do need to, I gotta know how that feels!!)

Oh man, tonight I started making my summer bucket list(instead of painting lie I should have been), this summer is going to be so great ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜˜
K: Same ๐Ÿ‘ฝ
Ok! if you end up going for the whole time let me know, I can take off babysitting for it ☺️ who's pieces have you seen that will be featured? 

I don't know hahah I've only been to one concert with my mom and that was my first one (which was The Maine ๐Ÿ˜…). Awww that's cute (your dad seems like a chill person to go to shows with though!) I guess, who'd you go see? 
Yeah me either ๐Ÿ˜Š (Doesn't it!? ☺️). Ok I'll let you know later tonight! 
That's what I'm saying, but they can be so stubborn sometimes ๐Ÿ˜’ I'm working on it, I promise. It'll all work out ☺️ 

YES ๐Ÿ’š! it's almost seems like one of those really cliche coming-of-age movies hahahah. (Which like I've mentioned, I'm a sucker for ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’•) 

(exactly! I've met so many people like that [aka most, if not all, of my family] it's really frustrating and depressing bc they pick and choose parts that are convenient for them, but don't look at the "overall message" (idk how to put it???) 
That seems like a good way to live and the fact that you recognize that means you're doing something good ๐Ÿ˜Š


Not gonna like I still rock out to Hot Fuss and Day & Age in my car (aka this morning on my way to school hahaha) (naaaah it's ok we all that those embarrassing bands of our past [I have some BAD ones, my god]) (WELL there's Muse, The Kooks [they're actually coming this Summer!], Tokyo Police Club [they're going to come next week and I won't be there ๐Ÿ˜”] and the Strokes [I'll cry if I ever see them, tbh]) 
[ooooh no, hahah I can't actually say much about then bc I don't know them. I know that one really popular song that they have, but I can't remember what it's called. I'll probably remember later and let you know. Don't worry! you see them someday :-)] 

What's on it!? (hahaha oh god). It will be, I'm so stoked ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ˜˜
B: Okay, so it's 530-7 I think I'm going to go for the last hour or so (cause they're Doing awards so that would probably be announced at the end there) i would love it if you took off and came! ( but if you don't want to I understand as well) either way we can get coffee before you babysit/we go to the show if you'd like!
I mean I don't know what specific pieces are going in, but being a teachers aid for 2 art classes I end up seeing most of the work that comes out of the students ( although I do have a good idea of what will be chosen for the show, I know bailey James, Noreen,and  faith stifler are going to have some rad pieces in there. it's gonna be some stuff competition [ I'm hoping to take best in show though] )

Oh god hahaha. Well it couldn't be that bad going with her anyhow. 
(He is sometimes) ohh man, so many bands, we went to my first show,AiC, a bunch of punk and ska shows, HRVRD, we went to warped tour haha. Yeah mostly just tons of random punk shows though.
๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜Š exactly it'll all work out, I'm sure, then all we have to do is wait for graduation to get here and then we'll be on our way!  ( it's going to be so nice I can't wait to camp out on the beach with you [and everyone else]) 
I halfway hope our camp spot is kinda separated from Matt's, cause they're probably just going to try to party the whole time (an be obnoxious) ๐Ÿ˜’ which I mean would be fun for a bit but I really want to do camping stuff too like have a little fire and sit around it and go for nice walks on the beach and stuff like that ☺ 
not just get stupid drunk and be an idiot 

It really is! ( I think that's why love it too hahaha)
[ oh yes, i know ✨๐Ÿ’•speaking of which, did you see if that indie film was playing on Sunday??]

([ugh my family is the same way, a lot of them are really pushy about their religion too ughh] 
I know what you mean, it's like people just pick out little details that they can use to their advantage but ignore others and don't see the whole picture) 
I just figure if i put good vibes out i'll get some back yenno?!? I just want to surround myself with other people who are passionate and focused and want to learn things! ๐Ÿ’•

Hahah I feel it, it's always really fun to jam to stuff you used to be into( even if you don't like it anymore)  ( true we do, but it's part of what changed our taste to what it is now, so we have to appreciate all the bad stuff we used to like) 
The Kooks would be fun!! And yeah was t Tokyo polices club sold out?  I'm sure you'll get around to seeing them all!
( Ahhh well, that's probably best, they're such a guilty pleasure, they're just a 7th grade girl pop punk band really hahaha. Their big one was "everything is alright" so it might be that.) 
I hope I see em!

All kinds of corny/cheesy/lame/cutsie shit (most of it is the stuff we've talked about doing) 
It seemed to be  "do [activity] (with Katya)" over an over hahaha ☺
And a few other things like play a concert and put on an artshow 

K: No I seriously want to come! I'll take off babysitting and yes pre-gaming sounds rad ☺️ 
Oh man, 2 teachers aide classes? I'd love that (but I'm totally cool in the library [i think we established that due to the fact I spend 3/5 of my day in there]) (I've never seen Noreen's work, but CJs given me good reviews! I'll be psyched to see it all ๐Ÿ˜Ž [I hope you do too!]) 

I guess not. Ahhh! that's so fucking cool and some good stuff! (oh my warped tour hahah tbt forreal). Do you still go to shows with your dad?
Well things seem to be going really well. My moms kind of like "whatever you do what you want ANYWAYS" and my dad's non-chalant and said he'd "discuss it with [my] mother" which means he'll forget and then I'll ask him tomorrow and he'll be all like "oh yeah we talked about sure". So pretty much yes I'm going to go ๐Ÿ˜ (ahhhh it's going to be perfect! ☺️)
Exactly! like we have all summer to be stupid and obnoxious and ok maybe if I want to drink a little, I will, but I just want to enjoy the weekend (if I wanted to get fucked up Id go to senior week). 
They have hiking grounds and just places to walk and take in and the beach (even though I'm not a big fan of the ocean tbh), I'm tooooo excited ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ’š๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒŠ 

[yes I did and they're not showing it! I think they might show it in a few weeks bc that's what happened with the Grand Budapest Hotel, it premiered March 7th and they didn't show it until April (btw I still have to seen GBH and i really want to. They're showing it one day only, May 22, at the easton movie theaters, do you wanna come with? ๐Ÿ‘ฝ)]

([I'm sorry about that ๐Ÿ˜” people need to realize that no matter how much you push it in peoples faces, it's probably not going to influence their way of thinking. That has to happen in their own.  Luckily my family is very religious but keep to themselves, judge-from-afar kind of people (which still sucks, but whatever)]
Yes! and it's very hypocritical) 
Exactly! there's people like that everywhere, you just have to keep and open eye and open mind ๐Ÿ˜Š✨

It is! and it brings back those feelings you used to feel when you listened to them. It's like a little blast from the past moment, it's wonderful ๐Ÿ’ฉ (true! that's a good way to look at it! everything sort of builds from something else and look: here we are today) 
I feel like it would be too! I might just have to snag some tix soon. Yeah they are and it's actually tomorrow! what a buuuuumer. Maybe one day, I'm staying positive ๐ŸŒž
(How cute tho hahaha. At least you weren't into Metro Station [or were you!?] No I just remembered! It was "It had to be you", god I used to listen to that song so much) 

Oh no hahaha I'm so bad at cutesy things in general, but I'll try my best ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜Ž (ooooh ok ๐Ÿ’š) 
hahaha aw!! ☺️๐Ÿ’• 
Those are good! mine are all corny like ikea date, make a bird feeder, go to gun ranges often (hahaha I don't even know). 


B: Okay!☺awesome, should be a good time๐Ÿ’•
Yeah! I've had 2 through the whole year which has been really cool, and given me a lot if time to work on projects. (It's less of a teachers aid and more like an independent art class though) 
(The library is chill, plus it's  (kinda) quiet in there which is nice) (yeah Noreen is pretty good! So is CJ when he actually puts his mind to it and gets work done. Seaghan is excellent too, but he never focuses enough to finish anything unfortunately ๐Ÿ˜•(it's really disappointing) [i think best in show will be bailey, faith or I, fingers crossed!] I don't now who's judging the work though

(I only went to warped once, I wish I had gone more:( it was a bunch of fun)  no, I haven't in a while, maybe I'll add that to my summer list, I'll find someone he likes who's coming around and get him tickets!!
Good! So we're probably in the clear then! Ahhhhh Yesss so stoked!

Exactly! There's so much time to be a drunk idiot, And I can do that pretty much any time, why would I waste my time there to do that? I feel you, like I'm not going to be an ass about it and be really shitty about getting drunk, like you said I'm sure at some point it'll be fun to drink a bit. (It would probably be real cool to get a little high and then walk on te beach/go hiking ๐Ÿ˜) 
There's so much to do, why would We want to waste my time there doing stuff we can do elsewhere and ignore all the great stuff in front of us
Me too, I just can't wait!
We'll have deer tick that week, then graduation and then this trip, it's going to be perfect. (Btw we're you planning on going to after grad? I haven't really decided yet if I'm going)

(Awww man, that sucks๐Ÿ˜ž but when it is playing we'll definitely go! well do you still want to go do something Sunday? Cause I'm still out of family dinner for the day)  and I'd love to see Gbh, as long as I'm off of work that night we're good! 
I'm also thinking about going to see that movie "god's not dead" idk though   Cause it could either be really good and thoughtful or just end up being a religious preaching.

A lot of people don't understand that, they think they can just change anyone's mind by talking to them. And I mean it's cool if you're trying to make a difference for something you believe in, but there's a point where it needs to end, and I think that what a lot of people don't realize. Like you're not on a crusade.  
I'm not to worried about the crazy religious part of my family though, after I go off to school I don't know if I'll even see them anymore (cause I only see most of them once a year anyhow) 

Ahhhh I need to feel that ๐Ÿ’• ( yeah! And it's really true, If I didn't listen to really bad poppy music in would have never gotten into punk, and god knows i wouldn't be into any of the stuff I dig now if I never found punk) 
Do it! They're at black cat right?? 
Ahh well, they'll come back. Staying positive is good ๐Ÿ˜Ž
( oh god no, I never liked them. What happened to them, do they still exist??)
Oh yeah! thats a good one (I'm just such a sucker for that cheesy synth pop stuff๐Ÿ’–)  

Me too, it's okay haha ( but it's simple stuff like sleep out on a beach and get lost in the woods and go canoeing) ๐Ÿ˜˜
(Ikea date??)  That sounds lovely though ๐Ÿ˜Š

K: ๐Ÿ˜Š
Sweet! are they both for Mr. Crist? Right!? I have 2 free periods and the library and I swear my days are sooo long and great. (that's what it
seems like since you're always locked in the closet hahah) 
(it is and it's usually quiet except those days when classes come in) (Ooooh I'm psyched to see their stuff sometime [CJ always works on his stuff in the library, so it's pretty cool seeing a *work in progress*] ๐Ÿ‘ฝ [and yes!! you guys are all so amazing, it's crazy! Faith really surprised me when I saw her work for the first time like 2 years ago]) I guess we'll find out Thursday ✌️

(What year did you go!? We might've gone to the same one) 
You should get him some tix for Father's Day! it's a sweet gift and some bonding time ๐Ÿ˜Ž

I'm just looking to have a good time, honestly. Take in the view, enjoy the hiking trails, walk at the beach at night (bc there's no way I'm being there during the day hahah), maybe get beer drunk and just do campy stuff ๐Ÿ‘ฝ (omg yes! I'm SO down for that [last time I went camping I also got so stoned it's hilarious, I'll tell you about that experience some other time lmao]) 
Seriously! our last week of school is NEXT week and it's a pretty eventful one, how freakin crazy , I'm too psyched ๐Ÿ˜ˆ (well at first I was thinking about not going, but now maybe I will??? let's go, why not!? we can just add to our list of events to partake in that week ๐Ÿ˜Ž) 

(Of course! Yes I'd love to do something ☺️ hahah oh yeeeeah your mandatory family dinners)
ok sweet!! ๐Ÿ’•✌️
I've never heard of that movie but it sounds pretty interesting (I don't ever remember seeing a box office religious-themed movie [of course there's been some-a lot, but I've never seen one haha] [oh wait that Noah's ark movie that just came out nvm] [Anyways, I'll watch the movie trailer later])

Exactly! at the point where it becomes forceful and their intentions are to change their perception of you or when your beliefs are their main concern then that's when things get bad. 
(hey once a year isn't even that bad! just avoid them forever, you can do it [I believe in you ๐Ÿ˜✨]) (I have so much family I don't even see 85% of them EVER, maybe once every 5 years [I like it that way tbh])

(Right! ๐Ÿ˜ so let's just appreciate our past [and current] music tastes [bc they'll evolve into what we'll be into in the future, ahhhh it's so great ๐Ÿ‘ฝ])
I think they might be at the 930 Club actually! 
Yep, that's why I'm not TOO bummed, plus I've waited for other bands to come around waaaay longer, so we're Gucci. 
(idk! they had those 2 hits and then fell off the face of the Earth [for good man, for good])

(awww I'm down for that! ๐Ÿ˜˜ [as long as we don't get lost in the woods Blair Witch style]) 
(Yes that's my middle school cheesy dream ever since I saw 500 days of summer hahaha) ๐Ÿ’•

B: Yeah! ๐Ÿ˜Š I know what you mean, it being long, sometimes having that much class in Crist's room is a pain, staying in one place for so long can make time really start to crawl by sometimes.  (Yeaaahhh haha but in the end I like being there and getting assignments from him, I'm going to miss that when I leave [painting for him that is not the closet thing]) be actually let me paint out in the class room the other day, it was nice.
( that's good, sometimes its so nice to be somewhere quiet but surrounded by people at the same time (sometimes its really cool to listen to the sounds of a quiet/silent room of people, is that weird?) . I can't work when there's too much going on around me[especially on art stuff] but Crist's room is usually pretty nice and quiet which is kinda weird for an art room)
[ cj's really cool and has a lot of potential, I'm stoked to see what kind of work he does in college, and yeah I love that too! It's so interesting to see the process of how people do stuff like that (not only art but all kinds of things) ] [☺  yeah faith is kinda crazy, her improvement was so fast it was ridiculous, she only started like 2 years ago! ] yeah we'll see! I'm excited for it ๐Ÿ˜Š

(It was when we were in 8th grade) 
I was actually thinking the same thing! I just gotta look for a show he'd be wanting to see(one that tickets don't cost $100+ ) 

Yessss me too, I'm just stoked to have a camping trip ( now that I think of it I've never gone camping with a group of friends before)  (true, not trying to deal with that daytime beach sun/heat) get beer drunk and sit around a campfire and play songs on a shitty acoustic guitar and just hang, that sounds like the dream to me. [ oh no hahaha you gotta tell me about it tomorrow then] 

I know! I can't even believe it! And it is going to be a great week (btw are we good to go for deer tick for sure? Cause I'll get tickets now) ( and I actually can't go to the movie :( sorry I work that night, unless it's playing after 8 in which case we could go after I get off[ jk, just checked the latest is at 7. But perhaps I can switch nights next week, I'll see]) 

( okay ๐Ÿ’•☺ do ya have anything in mind? Oh yeah, those things ugh)  
Yeah it could be interesting, it'll go one of two ways though, either it'll be good and thoughtful with some good philosophical debate orrrrr it will be a religious preaching ( and tbh from what I've seen it looks like it may be the latter, so idk) it's kinda like an indie film I guess? They're only showing it like 2 days.

Yeah! Like loooooove talking religion/learning about other people's beliefs/traditions/cultures/ect. (Like if you are really willing to educate me about your culture or beliefs i will sit and listen and talk with you for hours) But when you're just trying to push it on me it's so off putting and really makes the religion/belief look bad to me
No, it's not awful, but the one time is this 10 hour long Christmas event which generally consists of people shaming kaitlyn and I for not being religious ( except for last year, where the general topic of conversation was "why does Bradley think majoring in art is a good idea" [while simultaneously praising my cousin who is going to some weird private "college"  to study the bible.]) Hopefully when I leave for school I'll be able to avoid said event
See, that's not too bad though, family Is nice to have , but it's really nice to be separate from them hahaha ( I feel that big family thing though, most of my family, if I met them on the street I wouldn't even know who they were) everyone in my family is the same though, (very) white, (very) conservative, (very) Christian and (extremely) obnoxious 

(Truth! It's such a lovely thing, I can't help but wonder where it will
Lead us next) 
I feel that plus it's so much better seeing someone after waiting for it a long time. 
[it might be for the best] 

( sweeeet ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’• [no no nothing like that (you really have a thing for Blair witch though don't you hahaa)] 
I mean like what is an ikea date, just a date? In ikea?? ( I never saw that movie ๐Ÿ˜ซ) 


K: It's a good kind of long though (as in "wow look at all this time I have to do activities" [which I never end up doing]). At least it's him and not some random teacher (now that would really suck). (He just assigns you work? that's so cool and something to keep you busy/give you practice! [hahah oh you know you loved that painting ๐Ÿ˜ who are you trying to fool]) 
(No no no I know exactly what you mean! I always feel like that when I'm in there and it's like that. All those people have the potential to get very rowdy and changed the atmosphere of the room, but instead there's this veneer of silence over the room and you can almost feel it. It's lovely, that why libraries are so wonderful to me [that and the massive amounts of books and seemingly endless information in a single room/building])
Same! especially if it's one of those things that need your full attention in order to come out the way you want/need it to. That is pretty weird (mostly bc my one and only art class was always loud and obnoxious, but I guess I've always pictured silent, focused art rooms too, idk) 
[great things hopefully! (probably) 
[seriously only 2 years ago!!? that's unbelievable and really inspiring (imagine what anyone can do in 2 years with some passion and dedication, how cool!)] me too ☺️

(I went 9th) 
I hope you find something good! summers coming up so there will be lots of cool shows coming up you could look into ๐Ÿ˜Ž (ew yeah $100 is ridiculous [or like you said anything over $20 is crossing the line hahaha]) 

(really!? I've never been *real* camping with a group of friends, just festival camping which is still camping but not that nature-y) 
(exactly ๐Ÿ˜ท) it honestly really is the dream! we forget everyone else and all that matters is our group and that moment. Plus we'd just graduated high school and it'll be the first actual week of our summer (and that's a pretty rad start to a great summer if you ask me ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜Ž) [I will hahah] 

(I still need a confirmation from my parents [I'm sorry they really suck!! I always try to remind them bc they tend to forget everything I ask them, but if I'm too pushy or won't stop asking they say no it's weird, I usually to plan out my timing. ๐Ÿ˜–) (it's ok! I understand ๐Ÿ˜Œ wait, which movie? GBH or Gods Not Dead?? you don't have to switch nights! there's always plenty of nights or days in the future!) 

(if we stay local we could maybe go to Raglands [I haven't been in a while and it'd be cool to check it out again], frolic around town, do whatever comes to mind I guess! ๐Ÿ’š if we don't stay local we could go to Annapolis maybe??? [I've also been meaning to go to Teavanna and to get my eyebrows done hahah] do you have anything in mind?) 
I guess we'll have to go on one of those days and see what it'll turn out to be! why don't we try and see it on Sunday? ( [its playing at Harbor 9])
Where are they only showing it two days? 

Exactly! people in general are truly interesting, really, and have things to say (thinking other than ignorant comments, etc...) but like you said it's a turn off when it's crudely didactic. 
Oh my ๐Ÿ˜… (Jeeeesus, why is that their business [what did you say!? DID YOU FIGHT ANYONE hahah] [that's a thing? you can major in the bible? (weird private "college" aka secret cult). Is that said event at your house every year? bc if it is then you'll be back for Christmas so I'm guessing you should probably 1. hide 2. stay in PA. (That's exactly the same thing with mine! Even if I've met then before I'd still probably not know them if I saw them another time) 
hahahah oh no ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜…

(Yes! I think about that a lot actually [about how different I'll be, etc...] but I guess I always stop and just go with the flow bc things will fall into place when they need to)

[ok good ๐Ÿ˜… [YES! Its only one of the most traumatizing movies I've ever seen (watching it constantly as a child didn't really help much either)] 
Pretty much hahaha it's so lame! It's a date where you spend the entire day in ikea looking at furniture and trying to pronounce the names of the furniture and act like hooligans and eat lunch at the Swedish cafe and that's about it! (It's a really corny indie film [think stereotypical hipsters] that some people I've met don't like, but tbh I really like it [I watched it in middle and I thought it was so good and it just stuck I guess] tsssssk tsk tsp) 

B: It is nice in that way. But usually I'll have to take a break in the middle of I and walk to a different room for a few minutes 
True, I don't know why they'd give you A TA with a teacher you don't know though ( would they do that?) ( yeah it's
Pretty cool, they're usually really vague assignments and then he leaves me to come up with the rest [like for the piece I'm doing now all he told me was to do and oil painting of multiple figures in everyday activity] it's really cool though, I've learned soooo much from those projects (usually I don't think I'm going to get much out if it or I don't like his assignment but later on I'll understand why, which is sweet) 
( Yesss exactly, is such a strange but relaxing atmosphere. A veneer of silence is the perfect way to describe it. [ true having all that knowledge surrounding you is so cool, it's like you could pick up a book and learn about just about anything you want, that's powerful]  I just love that ambient sound if a quiet room [its like that John cage composition 4:33] on the other Hand I also like really loud crowded places, it's easy to get lost in that too[but I couldn't work in that kind of environment]) 
Yeah exactly, Its hard to get in that mindset that you gotta be in when  it's loud//there's a lot of people around. ( yeah that's ms Phil's classes for you.) I wish art rooms were like that but mr crists classes are the only time I've seen it. (It is nice) 
[ yeah Its crazy, cause I remember her first drawings in foundations, she was on the bottom
Of the class and then she just turned it on all of a sudden and mr Crist took a liking to her and took her under his wing, and she just exploded from there [i think all of his top students are people he never thought would be hahaha] it really is inspiring, it's proof that if you want Something bad enough you can achieve it) ๐Ÿ˜˜

I'm sure I'll find something ( but yeah he only listens to bands who are reaaaallly big so I wouldn't expect to pay less than 50, it's not going to be a $15 930 club show by any means) but it'll be cool and worth it 

( [ well camping is still camping, that's more than I can say] but it'll be kind of a first for both of us then☺ I'm stoked) 
Yesss it's all so perfect just for a few  days nothing else will matter. I couldn't think of a better way to start the summer (or better people to start it with!) 

( friiiicck do they know it's next week? ๐Ÿ˜ซ [ no need to apologize, I know it's not your fault] ( and I was talking about switching for GBH, you said it's just the 22nd? ) )

We can do whatever! If we stay here we can go to raglands, to the bookstore  and go bowling and stuff like that, and Annapolis is always lovely, there's tons to do (and I'd love to go there and see GPH with you)  Either way would you be down to go out for A nice dinner afterwords?(we still haven't been able to have our dinner date! Hahaha)
( gods not dead is in easton like 2 days only[im not going to go out of my way to see it anyway] ) 

They really are, you can learn something from just about everyone it's just such a bummer when people do that kind of stuff

I don't know, it's really not their business. I didn't say anything, they're so stubborn there was no point in saying anything. But yeah it pissed me off( I wanted to fight em lemme tell you) ( it basically is a cult though, there's like 20 students at this school and they're only bible majors) I didn't know you could major in the bible either until they were all talking about it. 
Yeah it's Christmas, I'm just going to tell my parents I'm not going. I can't deal anymore 18 years is enough 
And yeah it's kinda bad ahahaha

(It's a fun thing to wonder about, but yeah if you think about it too much you'll end up trying to influence yourself too much and go against the flow, and really there's no point to that. Everything turns out how it should in the end anyhow) 

( omg haha well I'll make sure that never happens [why did you watch it so much if you were scared?] 
That could be fun! ☺
Idk I hear a lot about it (good and bad)i'll check it out sometime ๐Ÿ˜Š (maybe we can add it to the list of movies for our movie night[which will happen eventually, I swear, I keep talking about it but it'll happen๐Ÿ’•]) 


K: True, I guess being in the same room for 3 whole hours can get pretty tiring and sickening.
(I don't think they do actually! All the people who I know TA usually pick theirs) (that's actually cool that he gives you room to think of how you're going to approach a general idea instead of giving you something really specific. (He seems like he'd have a purpose for your assignments since he is your mentor [I have yet to meet him! by the way you describe him he seems like a genuinely great and brilliant person] what other assignments has he made you do?) 
(๐Ÿ˜Œ [It is! and it's very overwhelming just thinking about it (which I love)]
It's kind of like a "loud silence" [I love that piece! despite the complete silence, it evokes so many emotions, it's absolutely brilliant!]
I definitely understand you. It's not a good work environment (for some people it may be, though) but it's private in a way? you could have a conversation that only you and the other person can hear and it would get drowned in all the other clamor and noise. My favorite type of loud places are those reeeeally busy Starbucks in major cities. 
(Phil's was always crazy hahah) 
It's pretty cool having the best of both worlds at school: the loud and the silent art room. 
[Im glad things are going great for her! she has potential to do great things ๐Ÿ˜Œ It seems like the students he takes under his wing turn out being phenomenal! (that's tactful and brilliant mentoring) (and it's the perseverance of the artist of course)]

ooooh damn no way that's too much ๐Ÿ˜… but yes!! it'd be worth it! 

([yep ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒณ⛺️] it will be I can't wait!!!) (☺️)

(they know but they're always really stubborn about things it makes me so mad ๐Ÿ˜ก [I'm still sorry though, that if we don't go it'll be bc of my parents] [oh ok! no that's fine!! they play it one say only here in Easton, it's going to be playing in Annapolis for a few more days, so we're good ๐Ÿ˜Ž])

All of those things sounds super lovely and perfect, but we'd have to postpone them for another day because of that damn first communion (awww yay ok!)  Yes ๐Ÿ’• (I know! I swear we always try to go out, but somehow it never works out [its my homeboy god trying to tell us something]) 
([well let's just catch it on one of those days and we're good ✌️]) 

Exactly ๐Ÿ˜”

Sometime it's better just to keep
quiet (I know that when I get picked on and heated I get really mean and shoot them down in any way possible, it's awful. I've said and done some pretty nasty things to some of my family [in my own defense of course hahah]). (YOU SHOULD'VE THROWN PUNCHES BRADLEY). (That sounds ridiculously scary, like 20 people living in a house together and studying together about "the bible" [aka they're witches man] [only bible major omg - "oh yeah I majored in Proverbs and minored in First Corinthians]). 
You go ahead, that would be the best thing to do ๐Ÿ‘ฝ 

It is ✨ Exactly! *this is going to sound so dumb and something from like a "wise" Facebook post, but* just live in the moment and you'll find and add new parts about yourself and eventually you'll come together ๐Ÿ˜Œ 

(Gucci ๐Ÿ˜Ž [i have no idea...I was a pretty strange kid. I guess I always "toughened up" for things like that and bore through them, but it was the afterthought that killed me]
Ok ๐Ÿ’• let me know what you think about it (I have no idea how you're going to take the movie. It's such an weird range of reactions it's weird). Mental note to put it on our list, sweeeet [that's not even question! it's going to happen ๐Ÿ‘ฝ]) 

B: (Yeah there really wouldn't be a point TAing with a teacher you don't know ) ( yeah it's awesome that he does it that way, it's like he'll give me enough info about it so that he knows I'll get out of it what he wants me to get out of it, but he still lets me have my way with it and apply my own philosophy/ideas to it) ( true he does know what's best! [ really? Well you'll get to meet him tonight! He just really knows his stuff, I have a lot of respect for him(I mean he's not the perfect human that I Tend to make him out to be though hahaha) ] ( this year he's had me do a life size graphite drawing, which took like half the year, a visual deconstruction, a self portrait oil painting and then this last one I just finished)
(๐Ÿ˜Š yeah it's a great kind of overwhelming though. Exactly! [ yeah I love it! It's so cool, it makes you just sit and listen to the absolute silence and just the sound of life around you, sooooo rad] 
( perhaps, maybe some people thrive in that kind of setting??) 
That's it exactly! It's like there's so much there to be worried about besides any individual person that it kinda creates it's own privacy. Yesss busy coffee shops are nice, I love airports and subway stations too๐Ÿ’•)
It is, but I just can't do ms phill's room (it's fun to hang there sometimes, but forget working there) ( I am too, she's pretty cool, but I don't think she's even going to pursue art as a career, which kills me, cause she's tooooo good) ( yeah if there's one thing he can do it's teach someone to draw[ I mean he taught me, which is a miracle in itself] and yeah the determination of his students has a lot to do with it, if you want to learn and are willing to put in the time and work he can help you (of course if your willing to put in the time and work you can learn just about anything) 


Ughhh well I guess we'll know soon enough. If we can't go maybe we can hang out and do something else๐Ÿ’•
[rad! We'll get around to it!]

Ughhhhg I know, that's so lame. I'm so bummed. But like i said if you don't get back too late maybe we can do Something after (cause I'm sure I won't have any grand plans)
( we really do, what the heck is going on [ exactly, this is what your mother we warned you about Katya, she's scared for you, now god's getting you back(he's getting me too, this is what I get for not majoring in the bible])

Yeahhh my family gets into it enough, there's no need to stir up more shit ( omg I can't picture you snapping on Someone like that [ or being mean at all really]  [ oh of course ] it used to get to me a lot and I'd get really mad, but I just don't see the point anymore, like I'm not going to change anyone's opinion.) (I WANTED TO, DON'T FRICK WITH ART MAJORS MAN. [ no but I swear a 'bible degree' has to be even more worthless than a Degree in art]) 
( next time I see her I'm going to ask if she's still in that cult hahaha see what she says) it is really weird though and that's basically what it is. 

haaaa it does kinda sound like something some ~hip teen~ would post on Facebook 
But yeah that's kinda true, you just become the sum of all your experiences and tastes, it's how we develop that's life

( I gotcha. It's the afterthought in those movies that frocks with me too, I swear horror movies scare me now more than they did as a kid hahaha)
Will do! 
(And yes, soon! ๐Ÿ’•✌)

K: (he's a brilliant man and you're phenomenal artist. I don't know if I've told you yet, but your painting was amazing, congrats ๐Ÿ’•☺️ it was great to see your hard work [and groans] pay off!) ([well I guess I didn't meet him, but seeing him in the flesh was pretty cool too hahah] [he's perfect to you and that's all that counts lmao]) (oooooh yeah I've seen those [I'm not too sure about the visual deconstruction one (wasn't it your profile picture for a while? [Im probably mistaken]) they're amazing ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜ป) 
(yes! [and you realize how absolutely silent an auditorium full of people can become (to the point where you can hear a pin drop) without even trying - it just sorta happens?]) 
(yeah! everyone has a niche for different circumstances, I don't see why a loud, rowdy place wouldn't be someone else's ๐Ÿ˜Š)
I couldn't have said it better! 
Ooooh my I love love LOVE airports (especially waking up REALLY early and being there before the sunrise). My parents used to take me to a park by the Crystal City airport in DC when I was little and we would have picnics are planes flew over our head, it was peaceful and exhilarating. They also used to take and pick up my grandparents all the time so I always tagged along. They're just the best. And metros/subways too! ☺️
(Yeeeeah you're not going to finish much in there) (she'll most likely keep art an essential part of her life [well, I hope] which is better than nothing!) 
([oooooh stop, not everyone can pick up drawing that easily (aka me) even with someone like Mr. Crist! it's just your (I can't think of a good word for it???! ["calling"?])]. Exactly! that dedication can be transferred into anything!) 

My mom seemed cool with just waiting on my father ๐Ÿ˜… Of course! ๐Ÿ’•

I hope I won't be too late! Plus I doubt my parents had any plans afterwards so I'll keep my fingers crossed! (oh trust me, these plans aren't grand) 
(life is telling us to stop thinking about food and do something productive [(how could majoring in the bible even slip your mind? [you damn hooligans with your art degrees] ALSO did you know Mr. Worsham has a degree in the bible!!?)] 

(oooooh man. I usually don't snap or get mad until I'm REALLY fed up [I usually let little things go, I shrug it off, whatever. But things just build up] but when I do it's not too nice. [awww I guess that's a good thing! I just don't see the point in being mean to people "just because"] Good for you! just forget about them and their bible majoring ways, who needs them anyways. (DO IT ONE DAY I DARE YOU. In art you at least have potential to grow and put yourself out there, how the hell do you do that with the bible?) 
(Oh god hahahah she'll summon demons upon you to show you the wrath of god) 

ummmm I am a ~hip teen~ so what are you saaaaying? 
exactly ๐Ÿ‘ฝ✌️ 

([It took me like a year to finally get over insidious (it wasn't scary while I was watching it, but this black veiled lady in it kept creeping in my thoughts for a whole year after that, it killed me)] same! bc now we put the pieces together and understand them better [laaaaame]) 


B: ( awwww man ☺๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ’• you're too lovely, thank you so much! [yeah, now I can complain about whatever my next major project will be hahaha๐Ÿ’€]
Aww crap, I should have introduced you, I didn't even think of it ๐Ÿ˜ž I'm sorry. [yeah, something like that hahaha] ( I don't think i put the visual deconstruction one online, but I think I know the one you're talking about (the one with the bunny ears and the teacup right?) ( oh my goodness thank you[it really does mean a lot (especially coming from you ☺)]
( exactly! It's so cool, John cage is just brilliant [my favorite by him is the one where he put a microphone on the end of a pen and wrote on paper with it, I thought that was pretty cool] 
( yesssss AHHH they're so perfect. And yes I love leaving realllly early in the morning to go, and you get there and you're real tired and everything's just that sleepy/dreamy feeling. I just sit there listening to all the chatter and drawing people who pass. It's so nice. Plus there's just so many people and different kinda of people all in one spot, like there's not many other places where all kinds of people go like an airport. 
Woahhh yeah! That sounds so sweet, you could probably hear the planes taking off and then just watch em pass overhead, ohhhh yes. When was the last time you went there??
Yes, any excuse to go to the Airport, even just for a few minutes, is perfect

( I think she will too, I think the last thing I heard from her is that she wanted to be an art history teacher, which is rad! [ I never thought she'd do the whole 'working artist' thing because she doesn't really like doing art (she likes the final product but doesn't enjoy the process)]
( no, not easily, but anyone can learn it, drawing is a skill, not a talent[ of course some people more naturally have the eye for it, but anyone can learn] 
I don't even know if it was my "calling" I was never really good at it when I started, like a lot of people who are into art at least have a knack for it when they start, but I never did. I kinda decided that it was what I wanted to go and I just worked at it
(So if I can do that anyone can)

Yessss!! ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜Š

Okay! ( oh come on, I know yr stoked for the communion) ( and yeah it might be saying that, bowling is productive right??? Hahaha) I don't know, I should have gone to SSPP and then majored in the bible, clearly I've ruined my life by not doing that. ( I didn't know that! Worsham is a cool guy, he's my favorite sub, we usually hang and chat when he subs for my classes) 

( you gotta just let the little stuff roll off, or else you're always having conflicts, it's not cool[ a lot of people can't do that though, they take everything as a personal jab and take offense to anything, that's just not a chill way to live]well I hope I never have to see you mad then hahaha. ( no there's no reason for that at all)
True, I'll just let em be. ( MAN MAYBE I WILL if they make me go to the family Christmas next year I'll do it[and then I probably won't be allowed back, it's a win win] that's very true, art is always changing so there's gonna be something new to do and somewhere to get a job, with the bible, idk I guess you could teach it or work for the church???) 
( omg don't say that, she might actually) 

Oh yes of course you are (how could I forget?)

That's rough ( I never saw that one, i haven't seen any recent horror movies)  that is creepy as shit though, I could not deal with that

Tomorrow after we got ff of work at 6 kaitlyn our friend Sean and I are going to Claiborne to chill for a little while, would you want to come with us for a while??

K: (I'm just telling it how it is ☺️ [you do that and I'll be here listening hahah] No it's ok! I'm really adult shy [as you can tell by the way I react when I see your parents] so I was kinda glad you didn't] [oooh ok never mind! (yeah that's the one I'm talking about! I love it ☺️ [aww๐Ÿ’•]) 
(he really is! [I actually haven't seen that yet! I'll check it out later and let you know what I think ๐Ÿ˜Ž but knowing john cage and having a glimpse in your tastes I have a pretty good feeling about it]
(Yes that's exactly it! You're in a dreamy state and it gives it a sort of mystical aura to it [but even in the day it's still cool, it's just cooler in the morning]. I love that! It's crazy to think that the person who is standing 10ft away from you may be going to Hong Kong (etc...) and you're going to say Tennessee. (It's kind of like that library thing we were talking about we're all this knowledge is kept in a single building it's overwhelming, same with airports; all these different kinda of people with different destinations under the same roof before they take off). 
The park: I stopped by this summer with my mom and grandparents for like an hour! we wanted a little flash from the past. The airport: December! to drop my grandparents off ๐Ÿ˜Š I'll take you someone! 

(That is pretty rad! I wish her the best in her endeavors ✌️ [seriously!? that's so crazy to believe bc she's amazing! (but I guess that goal in life/lifestyle is not for everyone despite their talents)])
(true true [thats something positive to keep in mind ☺️]
Well, it's good that you kept working at it because look how far it's gotten you! and with that kind of effort you'll be able to accomplish so many kinds of things not just in art. It's inspiring actually! The fact that you can do something you set your mind to shows that anyone can do anything, so thank you for that ๐Ÿ’•


(You caught me, I've actually been looking forward to that communion forEVER) (yes! that's exactly what it's saying, I mean who's ever said "man I shouldn't have gone bowling" !?) You really have, my god. But at least you recognize that that's your worst mistaken and biggest sin. Maybe you'll be forgiven, who knows. (He really is! and that surfer hair is hella nice ๐Ÿ˜Ž I haven't talked to much with him, unfortunately. What is he like?)  

(and your life becomes smoother sailing! [that really sucks ๐Ÿ˜” I use to get sooo worried and took things to heart, but then I realized that I shouldn't care and just live on and hey it's working pretty well!] oh yeah man, you really don't ๐Ÿ˜ง
(GOOD. Would your parents force you to go to that family thing? [ooooh hey yeah! now you have to follow through with it ๐Ÿ˜] Yeah I guess you could be a religion teacher or something? but there aren't many options.
(provoke her and see how it goes hahaha) 

(I don't know man, it's only my label and identifier - it's WHO I AM?)

(I might have to ask Taylor for some good horror movies to watch [those are her favorite, she knows plenty] and we can watch some together [and piss our pants, it'll be great])

I would! I just have to see if I'll make it back in time from that other first communion that I told you about ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ


B: ( ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜˜ well, your too sweet  anyhow [ faith, bailey and I may be taking lessons from him this summer, so it may not be tooooo long till you'll have to hear my whining again hahaha] ( ohhhh haha well maybe it was for the best though [ I'm shy/weird around my friends parents, but other adults I'm pretty good about, so I thought maybe it was just parents for you too. And you don't act that weird around them anyhow] (  thank you! ☺๐Ÿ’– [that one is my favorite of all my work]) 
(I haven't seen it either hahaha I read about it and fell in love with the idea [ just reading it I could kinda picture him doing that in a dead silent room and I could almost hear it ] I couldn't find an actual video or recording of the performance, but if you can find one you gotta show me!! He is the man though, so I believe that it was great either way.

Yeah! Everything is weird an hazy and kinda passes by in a weird blur, but at the same time parts of it are so vivid, I love that feeling ๐Ÿ’•✨ ( true, airports are great all the time, but most things like that are better in the morning [ OOOHHH when we go camping we should get up real early one morning and go for a walk on the beach, that'd be dreamy๐Ÿ’–] )
Yeah!! It's like there's people from every walk of life there, coming from and going everywhere and they all end up coming together in that one spot, such a cool thought, cause there so few places that ALL types of people go like that. (It is kinda like the library, idig it)
That's cool! 
And oh my god, yes please! I would love that so much!๐Ÿ’• We could pack a lil picnic and eat it there ohhh hooo 

Me too, and she's really determined as well, I know she'll do great stuff! ( yeah I think it's because when she draws she wants it to be exactly like the photo, which is cool and all, but very tedious/a giant pain inthe ass. If I did work like that I'd probably hate the process too. To live that kind if life defiantly requires a certain kind of person too) ๐Ÿ˜Š
Yeah, I'm glad I did too, cause I have no idea where I'd be if I never became an artist. Like I'd probably be going to school to be a math teacher or something [or maybe I'd be serious about music and be into that? Who knows! It's kinda cool to wonder though) 
☺๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ’• awwwww that makes me too happy, thank you ๐Ÿ’–

Oh I bet, I don't see why you wouldn't be anticipating that, who wouldn't want to watch kids eat little crackers in church for hours on end. ( righttt bowling is just the perfect thing I love it soooo much ๐Ÿ’•[ fun fact my parents actually met bowling] ) 
Because I admit it maybe he'll forgive me, I'll have to go to confession or something idk
( true, his hair Is perfect, I'm jealous tbh. He's really cool! He's taught all over the place at so many different kinds of schools, and he used to do special education! He has soooo many cool stories, and a lot of the time we talk and share our thoughts in how education could be run. He's really in touch with his herritage too (which I appreciate so much๐Ÿ’•)  If you get a chance to sit and talk with him for a while it's worth it! 

Smoother at least, there's just no point to taking offense to everything( yeah I feel that, I was the same, I though everything was personally against me and all, then I just guess i learned how to pick my battles, life  does become easier when you get that though. ๐Ÿ˜Š) 
( yeah, they will probably make me[ IT'S A FOOLPROOF PLAN!  I gotta do it ] 
That or like a professor or a preacher?? Idk
I'm kinda curious, I will prod her about it hahaha

OF COURSE! your whole persona, all of it, just 'hip kid'  ( well if so your the most interesting, lovely hip kid I've ever met ๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜Ž)

Ooohhhhh yes! That sounds like a perfect plan๐Ÿ’• [pissed pants and all] 

Okay! Well just let me know tomorrow whenever! I don't think we're heading to the beach till like 9 anyhow ๐Ÿ˜˜ but I'd love it I you could come 

K: (๐Ÿ’• [oh no ๐Ÿ˜… (sike I don't mind! I'm always more fascinated by what your doing, I feel like the "complaining" is normal and it doesn't bother me at all ☺️)]) (yeah my friends parents are the worst! [I've known my friend Anna's parents for 10 years and they STILL scare the living hell out of me] I feel like any little thing I do will make them not like me. [ok good ๐Ÿ˜…]) 
(I don't see how you wouldn't, just the thought of it is fascinating and alluring! [like you said, you can almost feel it and picture yourself] I'll go on a little quest for some footage and if I find it I'll send it your way. Yes ๐Ÿ˜Œ)

Yes it's sooooo dreamy ✨ Hopefully the LA trip pulls through and I can change my flight so we can have that feeling again ๐Ÿ˜ (I love morning! they're so peaceful and the air is cool and misty. You see very few people out and a couple of joggers, it's like a whole different world almost [I would absolutely love that!!! ✨ we have to for sure ๐Ÿ’•]) 
Yeah there aren't many! Maybe major cities, but airports have a more intimate and mystical aura to them. I'm so glad you appreciate them and see their beauty as much a I do ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ’œ
I can't wait!!! I'll also try to show you the battle grounds (now made into public parks) my parents use to take me to where we would also have picnics ☺️ 

(I could see how that would be a pain in the ass. It pays off for sure! but yeah it seems like you have to be in it 100% if you're willing to spend your life doing that line of work, tedious or not ๐Ÿ˜Š) 
Math teachers are pretty cool (I think so, mostly bc they can do something I'm not too good at very well and enjoy doing it) (Yeah music would definitely be one of those things I could see you doing! Is music something you'd like to pursue further in the future or just keep it a hobby?)
It really is ☺️ 

Crackers and wine (all they need is some cheese and they're set for a party) hahaha they're starting them early at church. (It's so fun even if you're not good! [which I think is awesome since I rly suck] [ahhhhh that's so cool! and cute ๐Ÿ’œ])
Exactly, Monday I say we go to the SSPP church and get you confessed, god knows you need it. 
(You know that's adventurous in a way bc even though you're in a classroom and you're not "exploring" or whatever, you still see many different types of kids and places and where and how they live. Really!? how cool! He sounds like such a cool guy [and he's pretty brilliant too] and what's his heritage? 
Maybe if I run into him some time outside of school I'll ask him to coffee or lunch and I'll get the chance to talk to him ๐Ÿ˜Š

Yes, of course. (Good! and even when you pick your battles you begin to realize that sometimes those you feel are worthy of a reaction or to show some feelings for won't be worth it in the end. It really alters your way of thinking and how you live ✨) 
Ok and when you find out what her plan is let me know - I'm pretty curious too ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

YES that's all I've ever aspired and worked for - it's all I have to pride myself on ๐Ÿ’ƒ (awww ☺️๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’•) 

๐Ÿ’š [pissed pants may be the best part tbh ๐Ÿ˜ hahaha] 

9 at night!? oh my! I'd love to too, I'll let you know what happens ๐Ÿ‘ฝ


B: ( I only really complain  when a due date is coming up or if something is being a pain, cause really I do love the process of painting [ at least I don't think I complain that much??] ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’• I appreciate that a lot)
Right!?!! It's so intimidating, like you don't want then to think badly of you or anything, but you never know exactly what to say/do?? It's scary (plus parents usually don't like me cause I'm a hooligan art student or something like that) 
It is. He has such a great appreciation for stuff that people overlook every day. When I hear about his work it just makes me want to look for the aesthetic beauty in everything ๐Ÿ’•  ( sweeeet!)

Oh god yes! That trip has to work! Even if no one else can come for the show and you can't get your tickets changed I might just plan it to leave the same day you do ( if that's cool with you yenno) cause at this point I just Wana take the trip even if I can't see that show. ( I would loooove  to share that feeling with you ๐Ÿ’•)
(I love when you're riding on the highway and there's almost no cars there, it kinda is a different world for a little while. [ ๐Ÿ˜˜ I'm adding it to the list]) 
Yeah, major cities are kinda like that, but I think the fact that the airport is so small with all those people packed into it is part of the charm. Me too ( I haven't met anyone else who shares that fascination๐Ÿ˜Š)
Me neither! Ahhhh yes! Sounds like a perfect day ๐Ÿ˜˜

It defiantly has a pay off. If you can live on doing what you love I think that's worth any amount of preparation and work. But it requires a certain kind of mindset for sure to be able to make it as a working artist( or any other kind of self employed/creative job like that) ( I'm going to keep it as a hobby, I'm definitely not good enough at it to make it a career, and it would take some kind of miracle [like people actually liking my music???] for me to switch paths to playing music professionally.) ๐Ÿ˜Š

Awh man, they are, I'm about to start going to church an getting holy wine drunk, partying with the pope or something, I'm down.  ( it was so much fun though! [thankfully we're both bad hahaha we gotta go a lot this summer and make that graph of our "progress"])
It really is! It's always so interesting to listen to older people's stories like that, plus they're always so into it, it's exciting! You should definitely have a chat with him if you ever get a chance! And he's mostly Native American!

( Yeah! It helps you realize what is really
Important to you and actually worth debating, and I think it makes your words hold more weight to other people because if you're constantly arguing and getting upset at simple things people are just going to start dismissing you as just being argumentative. It really does change your outlook!)
Okay! (I actually am pretty curious now too haha)


There's no chickening out of this horror movie night Katya, we have to do it!

K: (Aww well then it's just like any other kind of time-consuming work [its a different type, but the annoyance is similar] [but naaaaah you don't ๐Ÿ˜Ž] ๐Ÿ˜˜) 
Yes exactly! then you also don't want to put on a false facade bc then they won't like you for being not being genuine. Parents are weird (have you gotten a lot of people that are all weird about the art student thing? [I hope not]).
He does and it's absolutely inspiring ๐Ÿ˜Œ Like it did you, it makes you look more closely at the little things in our daily lives and appreciate them more ✨ (and any person who can impact people that way through in any way is great in my book).

It does! How fucking sweet does a summer trip to LA sound!? (hint: very sweet) (of course it's alright with me ๐Ÿ˜ why wouldn't it be!?). I do hope we can pull our plans through and get to go to the show though ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ (so my fingers are crossed!) (Absolutely! The airport and a rad little trip together ๐Ÿ’•)
(Yes! it usually happens very late at night until very early in the morning. It makes everything around you more beautiful in way because you can actually pay more attention to it. [ok ๐Ÿ’š]) 
Of course ✨. (๐Ÿ’œ. They're out there, we just have to find them)
Sweet! sometime this summer when it's perfect picnic weather.

Of course! Although any kind of path people choose, it's going to require lots of effort and work to be put in, however if you enjoy what you're doing, it's not going to bad or even seem too much like a "job"; Just getting paid for doing what you love. (True, it's not for everyone). (Good ☺️ Oh stop hahaha [theres people out there that will like what you put out even if you put out the crappiest music ever (I mean people like Creed soooo...)] Play for your own enjoyment at least.

"Holy" wine drunk, oh my hahah (is there any other kind? I mean, c'mon...). Party at the pastors house ayyy let's go (it's holy bc we're doing it in the name of Jesus). (I had a good time and I'm glad you did too, so that's what matters ๐Ÿ’• [I may be worse than you though hahah, but I'll catch up ๐Ÿ˜ that graph will show that I rightfully deserve to win a "most improved" prize or something]). 
They've lived through so much more, learned a myriad of lessons, and have had tons of experiences. I think that people should be proud of that and their age (I don't like it when older people feel bad or say things that put down their age). I actually got to talk to him a bit today in the library! He was chilling in there and I was aiding and he told me about how he graduated in the late 60s (which surprised me!) and actually got to go to Woodstock (for a day at least) and talked about how our block schedule is very unorganized. He's a very down to earth guy awww. How cool! (Native American culture is very interesting and rad). 

(Yes exactly! [like the little boy who cried argument hahah]) 
(Oooooh looks you might have to go to that annual family Christmas party after all ๐Ÿ˜…)!

Tssssssk, I don't know...might have to think it over. Only if we watch the Blair Witch Project though ✌️ 

And (3 hours later) congratulations on your awards tonight ๐Ÿ’• you've worked so hard and you deserve every single one! (and how about that backpack full of art supplies though ooooh oooh pooh) 


B: Very true, I guess everything you do, no matter how much you love it, can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

Yuuup, it's just too hard. It's easier to just avoid then hahaha. ( yeahhhh, when I tell people I'm an art student I usually get weird looks and you can tell they think I'm like some drugged out flunkie or something, there's just a lot of weird stereotypes associated with it I guess) I think a lot f people think art is a career people get into because they're not intelligent enough to do anything else (which is true sometimes of course) but everyone who makes good art that matters are brilliant thoughtful people. Like even I'm shocked by the processes people go though to find out what they're going to do with their art (like last night I watched a lecture by one of my favorite painters [nicholas uribe] talking about all the things that influenced his work and I was so amazed [it was cool to see the similarities in how we thought too]) 

I KNOW! It's actually the most perfect plan ever! We've gooooottaaa make it work. (๐Ÿ˜˜ I don't know, I don't want to just latch into your vacation) meeee tooo, but if you Wana switch flights you should probably start working on that ( I gotta get my tickets/hotel stuff booked too) 
( it would be the perfect end to the summer๐Ÿ’•) 
(Yes it's absolutely beautiful) ( well I found one already ๐Ÿ˜˜) 

That's true, anything worth your while is going to require the effort, but that's what makes then great! It's true, you never have to work if you love what you do ( and I don't think I need to make much anyhow, like I'm not an extravagant person by any means, so I think I could manage to live off of my work one day) ( hahaha that's very true [Ronald] there's someone who likes everything I guess. But yeah really I just make music for myself and my friends, I don't really mean for other people to hear it)

(No, that's defiantly the best kind of drunk)  ayeee lmao turn't up with god (but for real pastors creep me out, I don't know if I could party with one, I'd be sketched out [can they even drink??? Like Is that a thing??]) 
( good! [ I always have a great time when we hang out though๐Ÿ’•] hahaha  we'll seeeeeee ( Omg haha we'll get a little plaque engraved for you "Katya Castro: Most improved bowler, Summer 2014") 
Yeah I never understood why people are ashamed to tell their age?? People age, that's life, you can't hide it, and there's no other way to become a wise person other than experience really, and experience naturally comes with age.
Yesssss! Mr Worsham the man! I told you he was interesting to talk to, I'm glad you got a chance to see what he's like. ( I didn't know he went to Woodstock though, that's siiiiick) (yesss! different cultures are so interesting to, I love hearing about how different people live!)

[ that's exactly what I was thinking actually ahaha]
( ohhh no, it might be the last one[that I'm allowed to go to])

Okay we can watch Blair witch, If that's what you want ๐Ÿ‘ป

Thank you! I'm pretty stoked ( I didn't think I was getting that much) ๐Ÿ’•
(Ohhhh yes free art supplies are always๐Ÿ‘Œ)
I can't believe they really sent you an invitation and you didn't get anything though. (I mean I can't believe you didn't get anything in general)
Bonus points though cause our parents didn't meet and graduation should be even easier cause there's TONS more people 

K: Exactly! But at least it's a pain in the ass that we end up getting something we enjoy out of it, instead of an all around pain in the ass. 

Hell yeah! we've been doing an OK good (sike naw I always run into your parents hahaha). (Stereotypes  really suck, and it's stupid that people would just lump you into that "typical art student" label bc they don't get to know how brilliant and great you are [any kind of label or assumption [good or bad] without getting to know someone is absolutely ridiculous]). 
Again, that's extremely obnoxious bc it's assuming (in my opinion, a horrible quality). 
It does look that way! (and like you said, it is). I still find it amazing how you said you approach your art very similar to the way you approach math, which I would've never imagined, but I find it fascinating and eye-opening. It makes you realize that two very unlikely things can be so similar in different ways. I'd love for you to tell me more about your favorite artists and about your own work ๐Ÿ˜Œ. It's all so foreign to me. 

Of course we do! (It's TOTALLY cool with me, my madre on the other hand is another story ouch ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ). I do, but honestly that'd be really hard for me to do because my parents would never let me stay alone with just you ๐Ÿ˜ฉ there would have to be other people going, yenno? (still can't get over how they're are rly lame). Hopefully if I convince them that there's a festival and my family lives there or whatever, they'll be somewhat cool with it!!? 
(perfect beginning, perfect middle, perfect ending ☺️๐Ÿ’•) 

Yes! seeing all of your hard work pay off before you is everything. Exactly (that's good thinking and way to be! it also makes you appreciate what you do get! any amount it may be) (I don't think I'm extravagant either, I'm content with simple things tbh that's why I know I'll be ok if I don't become a doctor or a lawyer like my parents would love for me to be). ([oooooh Ronald...] You keep doing your thing! you know you have your friends support ☺️).  

(of course, of course) god is ma drinkin homie, yo. (I don't like pastors too much. The ones I've met tended to evolve into arrogant, money-grubbing bastards with no second thought at their pocketing of naive-church goer money. And yes, also creepy lmao. [omg I don't know if they can drink or not, I'll look it up!] [cant they not have sex either? or is that just monks...?) 
([๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’š me too] you know I will ๐Ÿ˜ [YES! I better have that plaque man, I'm looking forward to it!]).
There's no way you can stop yourself from aging. You may be able to manipulate your aesthetics a bit to fool others and yourself, perhaps, I guess, but yes I couldn't of said it better. Wisdom is a beautiful thing, and therefore so is age. Let's just appreciate it all ✨
I'm so glad too! Thank you for that ๐Ÿ˜Š (It is! He said that him and his best friend wanted to go on a road trip and they headed towards upstate NY and they saw all these people and asked what was going on and decided to stay for a day/night!) (I'm not too hot on Mexican/Spanish culture [which is a pretty big personal struggle for me at the moment (I even wrote my common app essay on that hahah)] but I'd love to tell you what I do know sometime ๐Ÿ˜Œ) 

(tsssssk make this one one for the books [yes! to the point where you'll be banned]) 

It is what I want ๐Ÿ˜ we gotta make that list soon 

You're welcome ๐Ÿ’• (But you did! [ayyyy cash prizes ๐Ÿ˜ new car? summer trip? who knows?) 
(I bet!) 
I'm totally fine with not getting anything, tbh. It's not like I was really expecting or looking forward to something. I just think it's "un-freaking-professional" to send out invitations without making sure they go out to the right people or if I did get something, at least, you know....give it to me. But I'm not really that upset or mad because even if I didn't get the invitation I would've still gone to see you! So bonus points for that too ☺️
IM SO PSYCHED, grad is going to be more of a breeze ๐Ÿ˜Ž (We both have to veer off at some point and meet to take a picture together [as corny and lame as it sounds; I want a pic of us in grad attire hahaha]) 


B: Very true ๐Ÿ˜Ž

Oh well, I think they like you anyhow, so yr good.
Yeahhh, it's defiantly lame, but there's really not much I can do about It besides just prove them wrong (awww man, I don't know all about brilliant but thank you ☺๐Ÿ˜˜) ( I know, meeting someone with preconceived notions of how they are is awful, but unfortunately everyone does have these prejudices and stereotypes in their head, so it's just something we have to deal with and work around) it really is a bad quality, and when you make assumptions about people from a distance like that it isolates you from them, there's really nothing good that comes from it
Yeah! When I realized how similar they are (and that other people find it that way too) I thought it was really cool. It's cause they're both so about the process and mind set that you're in when you work on them like that "in the zone" feeling where everything else is blocked out and you can think very clearly (I'm more interested in the process of making art than the finished work itself, and that's kinda how it connects with math, it's all the thoughts it takes to get to the end of the problem and it just clears your mind of anything else) 
I'd love to show you some of my favorite artists ( I could go on forever about it, oh my, I'll tire you out) 

(Yeahhh, your mom was kinda what I was worried about ๐Ÿ˜ž she may think I'm just like intruding in your vacation or something)  yeah I feel that, I wish we could get Taylor or Alex to go with us ๐Ÿ˜ซ (chances of that are looking kinda slim though) 
You should at least give it a shot(soon) [ and like I said I probably wouldn't stay with you anyhow, I'd get a hotel somewhere (I mean unless we could pull off staying together, which would be perfect ๐Ÿ˜˜)
( yes ☺ it's already perfect and It hasn't even started yet)

It's great, there really isn't a better feeling. (True! And really when I first started doing art I never thought it would be a career thing or anything that would give back to me anymore than just the process of making art. And that makes coming this far seem so unreal) ( simple is good, all I really need to pay for is a little apartment, food and have a little left over to go to shows and that kind of thing. I don't understand people who think you need that kind of job and money, like really you can live off of so little [and if you're really into it you can live off of no money] same here though my parents always wanted me to be a businessman and like open a store or take over ben franklins, they kinda just this year came to terms with the fact that that's not happening ) 
(That's what I plan on doing ๐Ÿ˜Š if I can have fun singing the songs with my friends and joke about them then that's all I really need toget from them) 

Ayeeeee ( they're usually not cool, idk they're all just kinda hypocritical and I can't stand it [ like you said with their money hunger and all] they preach equality and love but usually don't practice those traits, arrogant is right (of course that's not all of them, but of the ones I have met/spoken to it seems to be a recurring trait) (no sex, no booze, being arrogant and snobby What the heck why would anyone want to be a preacher?)
๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜Š ( I'll defiantly get you a plaque, don't worry) 
I don't even see the appeal of aesthetically  changing yourself to look younger, like age is a beautiful thing (again, because of all the lovely things that come with it). Yes, lets ☺
Well you're very welcome! ( no way! He just stumbled upon it?!? that's soooo cool [ man cool stuff like that would never happen today, like just being on a road trip with friends and someone telling you about this cool festival, people just aren't adventurous anymore) ([ I can definitely see how that would be concerning, especially since it seems like it's such a rich lively culture. Are your parents very in touch with the culture??? Maybe it's something they could expose you to more if you talk to them about it) please do! I'd love to get to know some about it! I have next to no knowledge of it.

[we can only hope they'll ban me]

๐Ÿ˜š I'm on top of that list, we've gotta start crossing them off now

( truuuee that scholarship could finance the whole LA trip!)
Yeah that's pretty much what irked me, like you'd think they'd have their shit together, it's not cool that they kinda got you thinking that you'd e getting something and then when you get there there's nothing. Hecka lame
Awwww, thank you๐Ÿ˜˜ you're too lovely, really ๐Ÿ’•
It should be easy! ( yes! [ and that's not corny, I wanted to do the same thing anyway ☺])


K: I hope so, I'm a good kid ๐Ÿ‘ผ๐Ÿ˜
Exactly! invest that judging and negative energy in to your art, you'll be amazing and they'll eat their past judgement up (you're welcome ☺️ I find you brilliant and fascinating).
(Yes, that's true, sometimes [as shitty as it is] we can be that way, assuming and judgmental, but as long as we're conscious of it and attempt the veer away from that state of mind, we're improving ourselves) 
(I don't know much about the process of making art, but math I see how to solve a problem, especially a complex one, you're able to approach it in a few or several ways usually and it's followed up by small crucial steps in order to achieve that final result, and I can assume that art maybe has a similar process by what you're telling me? I find that you approach those the same way so cool! Especially since I get distracted tooooo easily and never really finish anything to it's true potential hahah). 
(It's ok ๐Ÿ’• I love it when you tell me about you're favorite things and your passions, whatever they may be, because most of the time I don't know about them and you open me up to new things) 

(I'm sorry ๐Ÿ˜ฉ We'll see how things settle out. I'm crossing my fingers that they turn out alright and you end up coming). I want them to come too bc just picture how rad it would be if all of us took a trip to Cali aaaaahhh (Ugh. why is money and permission always the damn struggle). 
I will. I'm started talking about burger-a-go go and now it's a few days before our trip and stuff and my moms not really saying much or giving it much thought. I'm working on it (I'll speed things up) [true, of course, and with my parents that's probably the best thing to do ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ] (๐Ÿ˜˜ hahaaaaa the day the happens man ๐Ÿ˜…)!
Well our first day of summer is complete and we got a bonfire and stargazing for a bit, which was perfect ☺️ (of course, there's more to come) I'm sorry I got a little quiet for a while, I started to feel kinda weird. Ooooh which reminds me! how did the rest of your night go? I'm living vicariously through this bc my night was lame hahaha. 

(It seems unreal, but that just proves how your work is more than you may believe it to be - process and final result. But the fact that you started taking art seriously just last year and you already have the potential to live off of [whilst enjoying] your passion is so impressive). 
(Yes! There's many ways live and people need to understand that extravagant homes or fancy material things, etc.... aren't what life is about for everyone. That's a lot of how I pictured my future to be like aw. To live someplace where you're happy and can grow as a person [in any aspect of your life] and your assets aren't what matters. [Oh yeah! personally, as cool as that seems, I don't think I'll do that ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ Speaking of people that live off no money, have you ever seen the movie Into the Wild? or the documentary Craigslist Joe? there both about people that live off of no money - they're pretty rad, you should check them out if you haven't already])
(I guess our parents want us to succeed and by succeeding it means having a decent cash flow in order to have a "decent life", but like we said, that's not for everyone. My parents haven't really come to terms with me doing my own thing...then again, neither have I [I don't know what I want to do], but my dad knows that I won't take over his company even if it does "secure [your] future". I'm glad your parents have accepted that that's not the path you want to take and that you will go off into the world doing your own thing). 

(It's pathetic and sad, really. I feel like maybe when they started, they may have had good intentions [even if what they preach I don't necessarily agree with] but after all that power and respect [and money] they are handed, it's gets to their head and eventually they become that way. [No, no, of course not, but I have yet to meet a genuine priest hahah. But there out there and maybe we'd have a better chance at finding one if we went to church hahah]). (Oh my...what a life ๐Ÿ˜… [Why would anyone ever say "I want to be a preacher when I grow uhhhhh]). 
(ayyyyyy ๐Ÿ˜) 
(Exactly, but people still do it because they feel like looking younger is what will make them beautiful, which isn't the case) 
(Yes! how rad is that!? to stumble upon one of the what is said to be greatest festivals in music history! No and it's so depressing ๐Ÿ˜”). 
(No, they're not really traditional or in touch with the culture itself despite being Mexican and living there for part of their childhood. Living in the states really sucks something outta you, let me tell ya. I will ask them about what they do know though! 
Aw! well I can always share little anecdotes about my life and the experiences I do have with my culture so that's something ๐Ÿ˜Š Oh and isn't your mom Dutch? 


Oh well, that's over with and it doesn't really matter at this point ๐Ÿ’ 
๐Ÿ˜˜ and if I wasn't trying to hide from your parents I probably would've been as loud as Kaitlyn (ok maybe not that loud bc I'm too shy hahaha) 
([ok sweet!! we're getting that picture!]) 


B: That's what I intend to do!(☺๐Ÿ˜˜)  
( true, being aware of it and accepting that it's there are the only way we can actually make a plan to improve ourselves that way. There's no reason to deny it anyhow, like it's natural for people to have prejudices [both good and bad] and anyway overcoming those kinda of things and deciding which are "good" or "bad" is what gives us all our individuality) ( yeah! It's kinda like that [ although everyone has kinda different processes for making art, and different types of art employ different processes] it's about just going though the steps and putting all the pieces together to form what you're trying to make, it's about  enjoying painting [ or drawing, printmaking, sculpting or whatever art you're doing] it's about enjoying doing it and not just the end product, it's about like getting lost in all the steps it takes to get there, and at some point you stop worrying about getting there and you worry about loving what you're doing.[thats what I love most about art, that liminal state of painting where nothing else matters but putting the brush on the canvas ]That's how it's like math in my mind,(like you said) there's a lot of little parts and you go through all those steps and at some point you forget that the end result is there and you're just concerned with that one but you're doing. [ I hope that makes some kind of sense]) you've just gotta find that thing that can put you in that state of mind, then finishing things and working through then will be worth it. I know you'll figure out what that is one day! 
( I'm so glad that you enjoy that. I love that we can expose eachother to new stuff/learn stuff together, like I adore when you talk about all the cool films and books youre into ( cause I know almost nothing about film and not too much about a lot of books) )

Yeah, we'll just have to see how it all goes but I have a feeling it will work out somehow! It really would be beyond perfect to have our little group running around Cali together that would actually be THE DREAM. Money is always the problem ughhh. If Taylor got a job soon she could pull it off, but i doubt Alex will be able to come. 
It really was a great first day (first few days now haha sorry it's taken me a while to reply this time[ I mean I've been with you most of the time though hahah]  but yeah I looking forward to tons more camping and stargazing [ and those lovely Cordova night skies you've been telling me about] ) and don't mind that you got quiet, it was okay, I was just worried something was wrong. ( and I'm sorry I was acting kinda weird at Alex's I don't know what was up but I just felt really disconnected, idk. I hope I didn't worry or bother you too much๐Ÿ˜ž) 

( it is unreal to me tbh, like completely, it's to the degree that I feel completely disconected from my work after I do it, like when I make a painting that I like it doesn't even feel like it was something I did, but more of a result of something passing through me, it's hard to explain, but yeah. And i hope that I can continue to improve the way i have, because in that aspect I am really proud of myself [ and really all the work I've put into that and the progress I've made is the only thing about myself that I'm truly proud of] thank you) 
I mean for some people success really is that ( I think that's kinda sad tbh, but if that's what makes you happy then by all means go for it, but it will never be my measure of success) yeah exactly I just want t find a place where I can grow and find people I love and just live, it doesn't have to be much [ the no money/off the grid thing is really cool but that's not me either ( I used to think it was though, I wanted to try it at one point as part of like a soul searching type thing, but I've come to realize that that's not what I need to find myself[ not that i think I've completely found my self, but I just don't think that's the way( sorry if that's really corny haha)])
I haven't seen either! Although Craigslist joe is on the list you made me and I've been meaning to check it out) 
( true, and from a parents standpoint i definitely see why they would want it, because they want their child to be more" secure" and live comfortably, but like you said, at some point they have to come to terms with the fact that not everyone can do that[at least not do that and be happy] I'm glad they have too, it took a long time for them to get to that point though, but I think my recent success in art has made them realize how serious I really am and made them believe that it's something I can actually do)

( people defiantly don't start that with bad intentions, but I think maybe it's something that goes to their heads? ( like a power trip kinda thing?) ( that's true I guess we haven't given ourselves much of a chance to meet many hahah, so perhaps we just have a biased view) [ I don't know, I can't picture being a young person and being so willing to give up everything you have for something like that, but it does require a lot of faith and bravery, so I guess I can respect that) 
( i guess so. Ill just let people do them, if that's what makes them happy then it's no harm to me, I just wish more people could see how it's beautiful though) 
( I cnt even imagine, like I wonder if be had any idea what he had found at the time) 
( that's unfortunate. The states Are shitty that way, it's so like "anti culture" here (of course unless you're white and Christian, cause everything else is kinda shit on, and I can deigns felt understand how that would kinda desensitize you to your cultural background. It's disgusting really) you should ask them about it, and who knows maybe with you showing interest in it theirs will be re-ignited.
That would be lovely, I'd love to hear some some time!  
Yeah, she is but she didn't grow up there, she's also not very culturally in touch. ( both of my parents are VERY American in case you haven't noticed)

Oh no, well you won't have to hide much longer ( although it seems like they've figured us out already anyhow hahaha) ☺


K: Exactly. If we remain oblivious to the fact that we are prejudice or capable of, we'll obviously never recognize it, thus not feel the need to improve on something that doesn't need to be apparently. You couldn't have said it better. 

What you said does make sense! You have such a fervent tone that emanates in the way you describe art and how you approach it or how it's approached, I'd love to one day I'd love to see this passion you have in person (that is if you don't mind ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ). I'll figure out what that feeling is like one day! for now I'll just keep on living and it'll hit me in it's own time. 

I have so much to learn and you have so much too teach, I just find you absolutely fascinating ☺️ Oooooh films. That love of mine that eats away at my time and really does not benefit me any (but whatever, I learn something from every one that I watch ๐Ÿ˜Ž). I don't know too much about books either, but I'm working on that. Maybe we can read some good ones this summer!

By some stroke of luck (OR FAITH IN GOD) it'll happen ๐Ÿ‘ฝ No seriously! It WILL be the dream. Going from chillin in backyards and basements to running around together in one of the raddest cities in the world! Taylor needs to start looking (and actually pull through with it) soon...yeeeeeah Alex is kind of a no go, his parents wouldn't allow it. They have been ☺️ (no I totally understand [why text when you happen to be running around with me hahaha]) and it's only the beginning to an amazing summer (ooooh those warm clear Cordova nights ๐Ÿ˜ the skies are velvety blue and dotted white, the frogs croaks, the crickets chirp and the fireflies for the skies. It's overwhelmingly peaceful and beautiful ✨). No no I was fine. I'm sorry you felt that way ๐Ÿ˜” I know whatever they were saying seemed some type of way, but whatever that was - it was between them, so you weren't the only one out of the loop. 

(It's kind if hard to understand. Not that you're not explaining it well, because you are! I just haven't had that experience to fully grasp the concept. I can, however, try to relate it to writing an essay. When I'm writing one, I focus on each component of the essay, whatever it may be about. I let words flow out of me in a way to best express what I'm trying to say in that particular sentence or paragraph or whatever. Sometimes when I go back to read them, I surprise myself because they sound decent and I wonder how exactly I managed to write something that sounds pretty good and has a message of some sort as a whole, but while I was writing it, it didn't seem like much. Maybe I'm not grasping what you said too well or the way you would like me to, but that was my best interpretation ๐Ÿ˜ฏ
And you have every right to be proud of yourself! You're head and ambitions are in the right place, just keep on the path you're on and you'll be ok in your endeavors (I sound like a hallmark card or something, but I am completely sincere). 

Of course, but it's a sad way to measure your happiness and success by material. Then again, like you said it's not your measure, or mine either, so we don't find the joy in being tangibly superfluous. 
Of course! and like we said before, we may not have a clue where that place is at this moment in time, but one day we'll find it and we'll veer in that direction ๐Ÿ˜Ž
(No it's not corny! It's a weird, but fascinating thing to think about and how life could be and the possibilities a move like that could being about. All those thoughts led you to a discovery - that's not for you [It had to happen sooner or later]. You'll find yourself completely in time ☺️)

Is it!? I completely forgot what was on that list. I just put a bunch of movies that came to mind hahah. It's cool if you haven't gotten around to it, I can't sit for too long and watch movies all the time. As much as I love movies, they get boring pretty fast. 

Exactly! We could pull through with finding a "secure" job that has an abundant cash flow (with hard work and dedication, of course), but that kind of life is not for everyone. One day my parents will realize that, maybe. It's better late than never! And right before you had to apply to college as well! I'm happy they came around and that you can now follow your path knowing that your parents have your support ☺️

No, I don't think they do, but yes! a power trip, sorta. We can find it in almost any power(-receiving?) position, though: politicians, CEOs, etc... Anywhere really. (Biased maybe, but I'm not about to go to church hahaha). (Oh no...I could never do that myself (there is so much in life to explore and unravel to just zero in on one aspect], so yes, power to you!) 

How age and they themselves are beautiful ๐Ÿ’š

Probably not! He said that the festival was so massive he just chilled with a small group of people elsewhere and chilled, so maybe to him it was just a lax day kind of thing, who knows!

It kind of makes you feel ashamed of your culture for being different than the "American standards", which is ironic bc we claim to be a melting pot nation where we except everyone of different background. It's stupid, but I'll find a way to be more informed and in touch with my roots. For now, hispanic humanities (especially literature and music ๐Ÿ’•) will be a nice starting point. 
That's a shame ๐Ÿ˜” maybe one day she'll want to know more about her culture and she'll take the initiative (I've noticed hahaha).  



B: Yeah!! And that's true for everything, you can never improve until you admit that there is something to be fixed/improved upon

Okay, I just had to make sure, I mean it makes sence in my mind, but coming out it doesn't always hahaha (that's kinda why I'm always at a loss for words when people ask me about the thought behind my work, it's always really hard to articulate it) and thank you! ๐Ÿ’• no I wouldn't mind that at all, that'd be really cool! But I might bore you cause I get into like a meditative kind of state, trying to get in touch with the good and all, but if you want to sometime you're more than welcome! ( although you should let me do a painting of you sometime๐Ÿ˜) you will! And when you do you'll feel so good about it! I think when you find it you'll know, you'll pick something up one day( maybe something you've done before but didn't appreciate completely at the time) and you'll just know that that's it, that's the thing that speaks to your soul. And everything will be good

Aww๐Ÿ˜Š I feel like I have a lot I can learn from you as well (and I really look forward to learning as much of it I can) oh my, you're too lovely ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜˜ (but you're so captivating yourself) how does it not benefit you? If it's something you love doing it's its own benefit though you shouldn't feel like it just eats your time away. We should! (The Kat and brad book club hahaha we should check out a few on your to read list together) 

( BLESS, BASED GOD LET THIS TRIP HAPPEN) she does need to get going if she's serious about going on this thing, maybe she'll get some of that inheritance Money she was talking about and be able to burn that hahaha. And I think asking Anna to go would be sick too (after I kinda get to know her and stuff) do you think she'd be down/allowed to go??  I'm trying to think of who else we could invite, cause more people would be better/cheaper. This summer just does keep getting better and better camping was perfect it was so nice to just drive around and vibe out and not worry. Those beach stars were sooo nice with the waves in the background oooohhhh yeah too bad it was so cold I would have stayed there for ever, but that makes me even more stoked for that Cordova night sky ( which is sounding even better the more you talk about it๐Ÿ’• those ambient sounds all around yessss that's all I need) and for not being beach people, the beach was a blast ( maybe I do like it deep down, but just not that ocean Shitty beach, little secluded ones are defiantly better. 

No that's exactly what I mean, I think you've got it. You always make the comparison to writing, maybe that is your thing. Do you ever write stuff just to write or is it only objective stuff that you have to write?? I think when people do creative work they always distance themselves from it idk why, but I know I'm not the only person who feels that disconnection. It is a really cool thing though when you step back and just get to think " wow I made that??"

☺️๐Ÿ˜˜ ( hallmark card sounding or not you're far too sweet,
thank you)
True, oh well, I guess you just gotta let people live how they want, it doesn't hurt me so whatever I suppose. Yeah, it's fun to think of where it would be though, like what would the dream be, the most perfect place. Plus there's just so many places out there that all give off different vibes, and I've never even been off the east coast there's just so much more I want to experience so many cities and towns to see. ☺️๐Ÿ˜˜ ( true, and that's not something  I can expect to rush either I need to just figure it as it comes) 

Yeah! Well either way I've been loving checking them all out. I'll get around to them all eventually ☺️. I feel that, I can usually watch a whole movie with out taking a break, but a few back to back no way 

It certainly isn't for everyone, your parents will get it eventually, especially if you did something you love and are truly passionate about, and then peruse it with all your heart, when they see love and passion like that there's no way they can't chance their minds. I know I kinda did get lucky with the timing. But really what else was I to do? If i isn't have art I'd have no real interests or skills, I don't really have another option that seems logical to me. It is nice knowing I have their support now though

True, I guess that is the kind if stuff that would go to your head. Especially if they really think they're able To channel god, or carry the word of god. Idk i feel like that's a lot for someone to think that they have, and it makes your words hold a lot of weight. That could defiantly go to someone head ( oh no certainly not hahaha [very true, I mean I couldn't even feel settling on one religion tbh, religion is really interesting to me and there's so many to explore with different ideas. I feel like they all have something going for them and Something you can learn from them, I can't see being tied down to one, and my believes don't even really match a specific one anyhow])

Well either way that's such a rad experience. did e say who he saw play??

It is really just disgusting, how we have to shame people into this cookie cutter American person, to the point where people are willing to reject their culture or even mock themselves to be accepted. It's more of a melting pot of ethnicities but all culture becomes assimilated (except for in those few isolated areas where people surround themselves with their peers and are able to hold on the the culture more) hey at least it's a start, and anything is better than nothing, but if it is something you truly feel like you want to get in touch with then you should be able to.
Perhaps, we'll see 
I don't Really know anything about it either, but I guess cause neither of my parents were ever into their backgrounds I never had a need to find out about them ( not that I'm trying to make myself out like I have some special "white ethnic" background, I mean I'm pretty generic white American hahaha) 


K: Exactly! 

Don't worry you made yourself very clear! (No that makes sense, plus there's always many aspects and thought that goes with those kinds of questions that you can't just spit out an answer just like that [I mean, unless you've thought long about it beforehand haha]). 
I don't mind, usually when you talk about art (or anything that you're very passionate about) I just stay very quiet and listen because it fascinates me and I want to take all of it in. I wouldn't mind just sitting there and observing, I find it entertaining and enlightening, actually. (I might have to ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’š). 
I know that day will come, meanwhile I'll make the best of time and let it come. (I've actually thought about that, maybe it is something I already do or have done, I just need that push or spark that leads me to the realization that that is what I need or want to do). ๐Ÿ˜Œ

(Thank you ☺️ it really means a lot to me that you would like to take time to get to know me ๐Ÿ’•) I hope I have something worthwhile, informative and apprising to share with you (and anyone I meet really). That's true, but sometimes I feel guilty that I sat around for 2 hours when I could've used that time for something else, yenno? but like you said, I do enjoy doing it, so that's good right? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ. 
As soon as I finish Brave New World let's start reading something together! For the sake of this book club (!!!!) (...and our literary souls). 

(*PRAYS TO JESUS BC IM THAT SERIOUS*) Yes! time is wasting away and August is nearing, she REALLY needs to get on this job thing if she wants to be realistic about LA or just wait for her dead grandfathers check to come in hahaha (damn we're shady lmao). She'd be SO down (I mean that's what I think... she's always up for a rad trip somewhere!). Allowed to go would be another story, I feel like her parents would be ok with it, but who knows, maybe her being 17 may not help ๐Ÿ˜• We'll wait and see, I mention it when I get in contact with her. Yes! let me know who you're thinking of so far (So Noรซl, Taylor and Anna have been thrown out there... so far so good).

It was a few days of no worries and just easy livin', which is all I ask for ๐Ÿ‘ฝ and I got to spend it with 2 of the best people in my life. It was absolutely perfect being able to sleep and have the soft him of the ocean and crashing waves in the background and being able to relax under the sky, it was so gorgeous it seemed unreal. (You need to come over one day and we can just chill in my little forest nook where I hide and just lay out in my yard and watch the sky get dark and the little critters crawl and fly around us. It's been my favorite part of Cordova ever since I moved here and getting to share it with you will make it even more special ๐Ÿ’•). It really was! (That's very true, it probably the vibes and atmosphere of this beach. We just need to be in a sick beach with some rad people and everything will be ok or like you said little beaches where we can just enjoy ourselves and one of the many natural beauties of life ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒŠ) 

It could be my thing and I haven't realized it yet. I've never really written creatively or branched out further than what I've had to write for school or other things. I've written a few poems but they're mostly the result of bursts of emotions and my needing to get it out of my body and into the world somehow hahah, they don't really make much sense bc they're very mumbled and jumbled. Yes! it also helps you see that you're capable of greatness in what you put your mind to even if you don't realize it at the moment. 

As long as you're where you want to be, whatever else people do with their lives is up to them.
It's crazy to think how even the most insignificant of choices can change the path your life takes on and so on... 
There's so much out there that even if we dedicated our lives to traveling we would never see it all, so we should make the best of it and see the most we can! What are some places you would like to see in your lifetime? (Exactly!) 

It gets lame just sitting or laying for too long, but at least we can usually get something out of the movie that's being watched. I'm glad you've enjoyed checking them out ๐Ÿ˜Š I was really happy you took the time to watch American Beauty with me, thank you for that. That film is my favorite and for some reason it hit me in a way I can't really explain and with you there I felt like you were physically seeing into my mind (in a good way [I don't make any sense, but any-who]) 

That's what I keep telling myself, that in time they'll have to accept whatever I do. If you didn't have art you may have found something else to invest your time and passions in (or maybe be confused and lost on what to do like me hahaha), but the great thing is that you have it now ☺️ Yes a support system is always good! 

It gives them a superior feeling for their "ability" to have a direct relationship with the creator himself, something they think others can't do (this is something that I can't really wrap my head around). No I understand you, I don't really think I could go into a religion all or nothing, especially since many have ideas that I disagree with. Also, learning from a variety of religions opens you up to different people and ways of life, it may even be more beneficial than having a one-track mind. What religions have you learned about or checked out so far? 

It really is! No he didn't, he mostly talked about the atmosphere. He said he wasn't close enough to the stage. 

Merely for an acceptance that they'll never fully receive, it's disheartening and pathetic. That's exactly what it is! (that's true, but even there it's not really the same). 
I just need to figure what exactly it is that I need to do in order to get culturally intact. But I'll figure it out I guess. 
Generic white American or not you're still a great person so that's something! 


B: True! And it's hard because it's like a whole life's worth of experiences and opinions that influence something like that ( and yet some people don't understand that and they expect you to be able to give some quick easy answer that they're going to be able to Understand) I have that problem (articulating my thoughts) so much ugh, I don't know why, it's like with a lot of things in my mind I don't think with words but it's more abstract, so it's even harder to get out (perfect example; right now)

Awww๐Ÿ˜˜ well I'm glad you find it interesting (cause it bores most people hahaha) well then in that case you're more than welcome to watch sometime ( I should get a painting started here soon anyhow, I haven't don't anything since school let out ๐Ÿ˜ซ) ( that would be lovely ๐Ÿ˜˜)  the nice thing about that though is since you haven't really found your 'thing' you have more time to explore different stuff and figure yourself out! ( it just may be, but who knows! One day it'll just hit you and you'll be like "why didn't I see how lovely this was before" but you'll still be happy you found it) . 

( why would I not want to?!!? You're so lovely, smart and cultured. I love it!!) you already have! ( and I'm sure you have plenty more ๐Ÿ˜Š) and thank you for that. I defiantly feel that, but I don't watch tv or anything like that, so when I do sit down and watch a movie it's cool cause it's not something I do all the time. But exactly, it's something you really love , not something you do to just waste time, so you should just embrace it!
Okay! I'm down! We just gotta figure out what (hahah true my shriveled up dead literary soul) 

(TRUE) you've gotta talk to your mom about moving the flight up too! She does though ( shady? Maybe. I'm okay with it)  who wouldn't be down for that though?? Trueee I forgot she's younger, but I mean if she's with us it should be cool, plus she lives in another country how are her parents gonna say she can't take a trip to LA. Those are the few ican think of ugh we gotta get this together

Exactly! And that's all I really wanted, to just hang and relax with the best people I know๐Ÿ˜Š ( Yesss please! Just tell me when and let's do it!! It just sounds so lovely, I can't wait ๐Ÿ’•) ( exactly, screw those weird ocean city beaches with their strange frat boy vibes. The real question is when do we go back to oxford beach?? I would be so down to bring the ratchpack down and just chill there all day ) 

That's what I'm saying they way you talk about it i feel like it could be. Maybe one day you'll feel the urge to write more independently, or maybe objective writing is your thing??? Like writing reviews or journalism or something, idk. I feel that though, any way to get it out, who cares that it's jumbled, I mean it's just how you were thinking in the moment when you wrote it, there's something special about when you just have creativity come right through you and it's just raw. It's a beautiful thing. Very true!!

That's true! There's no point in concerning yourself too much with others matters like that. 
It is crazy, everything from the place you live to just catching something out of the corner of your eye that makes you think. Even the most insignificant things can effect you so greatly 
True! You've gotta prioritize, and that's why I want to work a job that lets me travel/requires travel. And most creative jobs are like that. Ohhh man, I don't know different cities and towns, nothing too far out of the ordinary, but other than that the places I want to visit tend to be these ideal serene places that I have in my mind and I just have to find them. It's like places that are described in books and shown in films and made up in my mind and I just have this hazy vision of how they are, and I just want to seek these places out. 
How about you? Where would you like to visit???

Yeah, I feel that. Thank you for showing it to me! I really did love it ( it was worth your hype) no, that makes sense, and I gotta say thank you so much for sharing that with me. ๐Ÿ˜Š

They will because in the end it isn't their choice, you'll figure it out and your passion will make them Change their mind, I can see it. I might have, but art kinda led me to my other interests, the only other thing I could think of doing is maybe going into a music career if I didn't have art (but yeah confused and lost is probably more likely) yeah true, and I feel really lucky that I do!

and that superior feeling can go to their heads. ( yeah I don't really understand it either, and I feel like anyone who can actually connect with anything metaphysical would be  changed to the point where they aren't concerned with worldly power, which kinda makes me doubt the whole thing more) for sure, they all have things I agree and disagree with so it's impossible to settle on one. Yeah defiantly, it is such a growing/learning experience, and it's just so stupid to take your "given" religion for granted and just blindly accept it. I haven't really deeply studied many, but I know a bit about most of the abrahamic religions, I know a bit about some pagan religions, a bit about Buddhism. I haven't deeply Dug into any of them though.  Mostly I've concerned myself about learning about universal truths, things that will apply to any religion no matter where I look and I can use what I learn from that as a way to evaluate other religions. ( the universal truths is what the republic concerns itself with a lot) 

Well either way that's still really cool, I can't imagine being there. The vibe there must have been such an interesting thing✨

And to be honest that kind of attitude is really only going to further distance these cultures over time. White people just have this 'I'm
Better' complex, and I can see how it would put people of color in that kind of position where they think they have to do tht to fit in. Really what has to happen is that the white superiority complex has to be broken down. And I think it will eventually happen, but it's a struggle cause it's hard to erase such a long period of white dominated history
True, and You will! 

Well thank you ☺️๐Ÿ˜˜  you're so lovely and incredible yourself


K: Totally! It's something that you are trying to figure out for yourself as you go along with it and therefore there's no way you're going to have an explanation for someone else. There's not really an explanation necessary for that! It just kind of is and that's beautiful in a way. You don't need words to express yourself (yeah maybe it would help with conversing with people...but naaaaah), but you can have other methods of doing so - maybe art? some people find different mediums of expression and that's so cool. I usually take a while to process what I really want to say or put my feelings out there so that's why in person I may stay quiet for long periods of time in somewhat elaborate conversations (because I can't really figure out what to say or don't have anything to), but in paper I have more time to develop my thoughts...and maybe even then it doesn't always work out. I hope I made sense. 

๐Ÿ’š (Wow really!? I don't understand how someone would find that boring or uninteresting, maybe because I'm fascinated by others capabilities and passionate endeavors even if they're not my cup of tea! I wish people would at least take the slightest interest in things outside their "realm"). 
(Do you have any ideas for your next painting?!). (☺️๐Ÿ’•).
True ๐Ÿ˜Š I'm going to get my feet in the water in different areas and see what calls out to me. Even when I find it I want to keep exploring, there's so many things out there to limit yourself to a single path (but yeah still gonna find and wait for THAT ONE THING  ๐Ÿ‘ฝ). 

(I don't's just the thought that you don't have to get to know anyone or invest your time in someone if you didn't want to, but you still go ahead and did it. I think that's lovely and flattering ๐Ÿ’– [maybe not as smart and cultured as you or many of my friends, but somewhat and in progress ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’•]). (I just share about my life and things I know, so I'm glad I could show you at least some new things in whatever it may be!). 
Yeah TV is not something I invest any time in, really (up until that new Orange is the New Black season tssssssk ๐Ÿ˜‘), but yeah you should see it as a relaxing kind of thing if you don't do it often! What do you do usually to waste free time hahah? True true, I should! Im hoping to dive into different kinds of things to take up my time, like books and music (two of my favorites that I've neglected these past few years). 
We should check out that book that I got from Goucher and whatever else you've been itching to read!? (We gotta revive it man ๐Ÿ“š) 

I did! We just have to get a group together and it's a GO ๐Ÿ˜. (We've already established we're a shady, asshole bunch, we just gotta embrace it). That's true! I mean she lived in a different continent at 16 and took numerous trips while at that school, I'm pretty sure a week in LA wouldn't be a problem! No other people you can think of? 

(You're getting the car soon so that means you can drive over and chill over here ✨, you already got a small taste of it at Alex's! ๐Ÿ’š). 
(OH GOD frat boys and those weird bros that say things like thot and are very womanizing and wear man-flops. BUT OXFORD BEACH that was such a relaxing day, I just wanted to float on that water and forget everything for a little bit and all of us there just stripping down and jumping in was such a great time, we gotta go soon! Just let us know when ๐ŸŒž [we could have a picnic too ๐Ÿ˜]) 

I want to get into writing short stories (they're my favorite type of literature [you should check out The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, that's the one that got me into them]) and was planning on taking a Intro to Short Story writing course at Goucher but it was filled, so I guess I'll try again Spring semester and take this time to do some reading up and exploring myself ๐Ÿ˜Š. I never thought of objective writing that way! I've always just written about poetry pieces and excerpts from major works, I'll definitely give approach it in different ways! (maybe that's exactly what I need, to take the same subjects I know, but see it in a different light). 
No filter, no anything. Just our feelings in the purest form out for the world to see. That is beautiful ๐Ÿ’ž especially how you said you aren't able to articulate your thoughts into words to give someone an answer, well this does just that - even if it does sound all messed up. 

That's the thing! These insignificant things can be major contributions to how your life ends up, and in the end they aren't really that insignificant since they evoked such a change. So even the small things should be taken into account (that is unless they have a negative effect, in that case then they're petty and stupid ๐Ÿซ). 
Traveling jobs would be the dream ๐Ÿ˜Ž to be honest I don't know of many jobs that travel (I'm aware there are many, I just don't know what they are ๐Ÿ˜ฉ) besides those corporate jobs and US ambassadors, I should get informed on those! Ooooh that sounds like the dream ✨ a creative job that allows you to travel, how cool ๐Ÿ‘ฝ
And one day you'll find those dreamy places you may have visited in your head before! (and maybe you'll stumble upon them at the most unexpected of times and places). I want to visit some pretty "crucial" American cities like San Francisco, Chicago (like REALLY see Chicago), Nashville, Dallas, Seattle, Portland, maybe go up to Maine, idk and other little cute places and towns. But what I really want to do is visit all these places and any other dreamy towns, cities and villages and just see how people live and go about their days, not just see the major tourist attractions in these places, but actually getting to know a city or place whether it's visiting a shitty bar, going to their farmers market or spending the night in some random inn or whatever - seeing how people actually are in said location, not just what the travel pamphlet wants us to see

You're welcome! I'm glad you did! (I MAY have hyped it up a little TOO much though hahahah).

It isn't! It's my life and I need to do something that I will enjoy doing even if it doesn't always coincide with what they feel like I need to do. I know in the end I'll find my passion and follow that path, thank you for seeing that too ๐Ÿ’• 
A music career would be the dream and something that I'd love to pursue other than a hobby but I barely put enough time into it as it is ๐Ÿ˜” You could really do it if you put the effort and time into it! You have the ability, love and talent to do it! (oh well if that was the case then: like you said you'd find something eventually!). 

(Exactly! You'd imagine they'd be humble and at a state of peace with themselves and the world around them, but no. Of course I'm not claiming all are like that, but it's hard to say otherwise due to what I've seen and how religions have portrayed themselves as a whole). It's just like blindly following anything else, people should question and explore! there's so much out there, why just stick to one religions and spoon-fed information (people like this never seize to confuse me). That's very cool! Hopefully you can let me know a little about what you know about them some time, I'd love to hear about them ๐Ÿ˜Œ. 
Universal truths can not only be a good foundation for ones beliefs but yes it can help you understand a myriad of religions because a lot of them have similar morals, foundations, etc... that's very interesting ๐Ÿ˜Œ (I'm still set on reading the Republic, but I want to really dedicate the time to it.)

It really is! It must've been an amazing vibe. There are some rad festivals out there with some phenomenal vibes and atmosphere (and possibly as good or better than Woodstock), but I wonder if there will ever be festivals that can compare to the atmosphere at Woodstock.

We will all begin to lose knowledge and ties to our roots and our cultures, I wonder if the standard American way of life and living will become it's own culture in time? Like you said; we'll be a melting pot of different ethnicities, but won't be in touch with our origins. Yeah! It's unfortunate that the "white way" is seen as the standard and what we should strive for - the American dream, if you will - and that's exactly what people do. People of color and people that come to this country give in to it and so it continues. Yes! I also feel like there's been advances in white superiority being broken down, but there's still a long way to go, long after our lifetime. Things will happen in their own time, people just have to keep fighting for what they want and moving forward. 


K: Hey I was just thinking and I feel like I may have a weird way of expressing myself in person that may seem obnoxious and hard to read, thus not making me seem open (I have no idea if that made any sense, I really hope it did). But I just wanted to let you know that I really care for you, Bradley, and if anything is ever on your mind that you'd like to get out and talk about, I'm here to listen to you and here for you. Not that anything is wrong, but I just really thought that you should know. Goodnight, I love you ๐Ÿ’• 

not that anything **seems wrong

B: It's okay, I feel the same way sometimes ( like I can't express myself the way I want to in person [although not the closed book thing, I feel like I'm pretty easy to read hahaha]) but it's not obnoxious, I don't know why you'd think that.  ( I got it, it makes sense).
Thank you, and I care about you so much. And I want you to feel the same, that I could be something safe you can confide in, and I hope I do a good job of being there and seeming like something like that to you. Thank you again Katya. I love you, good night and sweet dreams ๐Ÿ’•


B: Yeah exactly, it's ever changing, And as soon as I think I have my ideas or philosophies in a more clear sight something happens that will change them, but yeah it is beautiful because it means that we're always learning, growing wiser and gaining experiences on which we can draw from. The only thing is, when you express yourself in ways other than words (and even with words sometimes) it's so ambiguous and people expect you to be able to explain yourself, which is when it gets hard to communicate ( true, who needs to communicate??) it's not a bad thing that you're picky( I guess that's a good word for it??) about what you say, it keeps you from saying something you don't really mean (I could take a lesson from you in that way for sure) that's especially good in those long deep conversations, it's so much better to just take it in and learn for a moment and then be able to say something that someone else will be able to learn from and will move on the conversation than to speak immediately and say something you don't think out and just end up killing the vibe of te conversation ( I know plenty of people who are famous for doing that, it's the worst). And it's really rad that writing allows you that and it doesn't even matter if it didn't work out, because if you tried Something new and It didn't work out then you've learned something. I really would love to read some of your writing if you wouldn't mind ☺️

Yeah, I don't know, I guess some people can't connect like that. For me, peoples passions and philosophies and how they inter relate are incredibly interesting.  But I agree, if people would take more time to share in each others interest imagine how much more people would learn and how much more open they'd be

(Man, no, I wish, I've been slacking so hard since school let out ๐Ÿ˜ซ I need to get back on my game [but perhaps that painting if you ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜]) 
True! Which is exactly what you want! (who knows maybe you'll take that drawing class and end up blowing me out of the water ๐Ÿ˜) I mean it's defiantly good to have a focus, but the best thing is when youcan go outside of that area and take Something and apply it to your expertise. 

I suppose that's true, but you're so lovely and intriguing yourself how could I help but want to get to know you better?? But getting to know you has Been much more than worth all the time I've invested ๐Ÿ’• and you're just so easy to talk to and learn from it's just happened so naturally. [ I don't know why you think that??? I think you're extremely well cultured. Of course it never hurts to be more so, but yenno] ( well I'm glad you've allowed yourself to share that☺️ Thank you) 

I've never really found it be too beneficial ( i feel that. I have such a weak spot for that 70's show. When I see it's on I've gotta watch it) wasting my free time I usually aimlessly noodle around on guitar but I kinda try to stay as busy as possible. Yeah! It's good to have a variety ( I really need to add more reading to my life) 
Yeah I'd be down to check that out. And if you're still interested in the republic we could read and discuss that too. It could be interesting to see what we each get out of it. 

Let me not even think of the LA trip now, I'm in emotional distress about it. (But maybe if we could get Anna your mom would be down????) (ugh for why, maybe if we really develop a plan sometime this week and sit down with her and lay it out we'll be good for it) 

I know! I'm so stoked ( hopefully I'll actually be getting that car soon ugh) but you know I'll be over and we can have some Cordova adventures ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž
(Exactly, the worst kind of people, that whole attitude just pisses me off so much. I'm not even gonna get started. But yes!!! Oxford! Let's do it again this week after you get off one night [so long as you're feeling up to it] it was so lovely to just have that little dip therefor a while ๐Ÿ˜ so relaxing. And yeah a picnic sounds perfect!!

That would be sick! If you'd like to get into it then just go for it!! ( I haven't read many short stories but there's a few I dig on [ I really like the destructors, and there's another, I can't remember te name, it's kinda 1984 esque about a guy who goes out for a walk in the middle of the night] I haven't read that one though, I'll for sure look into it!!) dang, too bad you couldn't get into it right away, but that'll be pretty cool when you do get to take it! ( heck I'd even take that class) that'll be a good idea though, and by then you'll have explored more stuff through school and have new stuff to bring to your writing! It's worth a shot to see if it's something you're into, I'm sure they have plenty of journalism classes you can dabble in ( maybe you could write reviews for film, it'd be like your 2 loves put into one hahaha) ( and maybe that is what you need, it's worth taking a look at things from different angles like that) 

Yes, pure expression, there's nothing better. And even if it is messed up, it means something to you and it represents that moment in time when you wrote it. I think if you can create something that raw and capture a moment in time like that, like the feeling of the moment and everything, that's such a powerful thing

it's cool to think that some of the things we do without even thinking twice can make such a huge impact (true that)

They're out there, I mean a lot of buisness type jobs require it, journalists, artists,  musicians, writers, idk I can think of a lot of creative careers that need it because they either require traveling to actually do the job or to promote your work. It's definitely something to consider in choosing a job/career maybe it's something to look at, it could give you some ideas??? The major cities are always a cool thing, but I don't know, a lot of cities kinda seem similar when it boils down to it. But with the little towns oh yes I feel that, I'd love to go to little like farming towns and pit stop towns and see what it's like, I always kinda fancied going to a town like the one in the move defiance or Some other similar movie, just somewhere that's like stuck in the past. Cordova is kinda like that, and it's kinda grown on me the few times I've been. Seeing how people really love in these places would be such an experience ( I've really never been one for tourist attraction type stuff, except for the occasional museum, I always really liked seeing the local shops and catching local concerts and doing that sort of thing. ) staying at a little inn sounds really charming too ๐Ÿ˜ too cool!!

( I don't think you overhyped it, it was really excellent!!)

Yes exactly!! You will I really do believe in you. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’•

It would be really rad! But there's a lot more to
Music careers than just the performing side, there's music management, recording, commercial music, promotion and I'm sure tons of other stuff I'm missing. I could probably do some type of music career, but I don't think I could make a living off my writing/performing my music is a little too generic and amateurish for that. 

It's what you'd think, and really how it should be, and unfortunately it's not ( yeah but you can only really base your opinions on what you've seen and experienced anyhow, as you said I'm sure there's good ones out there but judging on what we've seen they seem to be few and far between)  that's true, and I think we go back to people being just apathetic and not caring enough to look farther and therefor just accept the first thing they're told. Okay! I'd love to share ๐Ÿ’–
They can! It's really cool, and once you learn these kind it things it just becomes so helpful when you're trying to learn more and expand yourself, Plus it sets boundaries for you and helps give you a sense of what you believe. (And learning stuff is just great in general) ( read it with me! I just started it over we could definitely do it together) 

True I can't even imagine the  feeling there. (Oooohh festivals like #firefly2014????) I really don't think any will hold the significance that Woodstock did, music isn't the same anymore, it's so much more divided and festivals are so much more industrialized it won't be the same again

Yeah, but it's unfortunate that the American way makes people feel ashamed of their cultures instead if empowering them to be in touch with their cultures. But what even is the American culture? What ethnic background have we created for ourselves that's worth preserving?? Really not much in my opinion. And that doesn't make sense because I thought the American dream was to be happy following your own path, I didn't think it was a proclamation of white Americanness, but that's kinda what people seem to think when they say things like "xxxx culture/race/phenomenon/religion is killing te American dream".  I dont know how it's going to be solved. I'd hope that it could be how it should be with people being able to openly practice traditions and function in society, mingling with people who are different from them but still feeling secure. I hope to doesn't come to people having to isolate themselves in order to keep their culture alive. But your right, that all is up to the people who are willing to fight  for it


K: I'm sorry this is long, but bear with me here ๐Ÿ˜”Sometimes I feel like my feelings are very petty and I don't want to burden you with them because I'm not usually like this and I don't want you to think that I am, but sometimes my insecurities get in the way of what I'm doing or where and I am and I get flushed with these stupid thoughts...things like oh I'm really boring, too weird, a buzzkill, ugly, not smart enough or cultured, and very dumb things like that and I don't want to think that but sometimes it just happens and it really takes over my mood and it's hard to hide. I really don't try to get this way, I promise, I try to be positive and exciting, but it happens and I really hate it. Also, it really scares me that I've started to let my walls down with you and allowed all of these different emotions that I've blocked and closed off forever come through and it's just so new and scary (it's not bad though!) and I feel very vulnerable (which I've always prided myself for having a hard shell, but with you I feel...soft...good ๐Ÿ˜Œ??? I don't know how to word it ๐Ÿ˜”). 

B: You should never feel like your feelings are petty or anything to be ashamed of, I told you that I am here for you and I mean that. Your feelings aren't burdensome to me, and if they are to you I want to be able to help lift that burden from you. 
And it's so normal for your insecurities to bubble up, but I want you to know that you aren't any of those things, you're gorgeous, incredibly smart and obviously fun to be around ( I mean why else would I want to be around you all the time???)  it really is fine to feel this way sometimes, it's not something you can just stop, so please don't worry about it so much. 
Yeah I can understand how that can be difficult, but vulnerability and sharing yourself is not te same thing as being weak, I'm do happy that you feel comfortable enough to share these things with me ( I know you pride yourself on that hahaha, when we first met you seemed like such a closed book, I couldn't figure you out at all, it's nice that you've opened up a bit, and thank you for feeling like you can with me. I'm happy you feel open like that with me and that it makes you feel (good???))
I love you Katya, thank you

K: Thank you I can really tell that you mean that and that makes me feel really happy and I appreciate and love you so much for seeing the best in me even when I can't sometimes and just taking your time to care, you're really a wonderful person. I guess since I usually just brush things off and not give them much thought or affect me in any way, but when I do feel like this, I don't like to complain or seem like an over-dramatic privileged person. 
Yeah ๐Ÿ˜” It's very strange because it takes me a long time to let myself open up and suddenly I feel very comfortable and it just happens, which is good really, but just being "out there" is scary to me because I feel like I'll scare people away if I put too much on them (I tend to be a closed book, yes hahaha). But it's ok, these kinds of days happen sometimes and then everything is good again ☺️ Thank you Brad ๐Ÿ’• 
I may not always have the best advice or answer to problems, but I genuinely care about what you have to say and your best interest (and really any person I truly vest my friendship and love in) and I'll listen to you and do the best that I can. I'm always here for you. As a friend and more ๐Ÿ˜Œ

K: That's very true! and sometimes we may not realize that we're changing right away since it is little daily changes that may seem like nothing at the moment, but in retrospect propel us to becoming who we are today. It's also crazy to think how we are so young and we've only experienced a sliver of what we can gain from life, and yet we've changed in many ways. It makes me anticipate what's to come ๐Ÿ˜ฏ. 
I guess I'd really like to say that if at least you know what you're feeling and trying to say in and through your mode of expression, that's all that really matters - and perhaps it's true - but sometimes we don't even know what we're trying to say so it's just this ball of confusion. But despite all of that, words may not always be the best for everyone, but being able to put what's in your head out into the world however you choose to do it, then that is pretty fascinating in itself ๐Ÿ˜Œ 
I try to be "picky" in what I say in conversations that intrigue me in different manners (something that requires more thought, memory recollection, whatever it may be), but other than that I can just talk and talk hahah (which I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing...). Yes! In conversations like those it's better to fully collect your thoughts and give something worthwhile, you couldn't have put it better. Also, taking a conversation in and learning from the other person/people can prevent you from blurting out something you may not be too informed about (Oh god, I also know people who try to argue topics that they don't know shit about or very minimal). Exactly ๐Ÿ˜Š. I would show you my writing if I had any pieces, really... but the thing is they're just diary-type entries and pieces from school. Nothing too crazy and anything that I've written aside from that is kind of heat of the moment and most get tossed out ๐Ÿ˜ž If I dig something up, or anything I write in the future, I'd be more than happy to show you! 

They honestly are! It's a shame not everyone can see that ๐Ÿ˜” To be honest, sometimes I'm afraid I'm being hypocritical when I say that people should take the time to know other people despite their differences, and perhaps I am. Then again, I realize that I've never turned away someone for what they might be or any other factors, so I guess I'm in/almost in the right mindset. 

(With you're art classes you can get back in the game! Or at least still have something going on before school! [*cough cough* shovel] [this is very new to me! but I'd love it ☺️ just let me know when ๐Ÿ˜])
Yes ๐Ÿ˜Š (Oh my hahaha blow YOU out of the water OK, but who knows I may actually have a knack for drawing and I never knew ๐Ÿ˜ we'll see) 
It helps you become a well-rounded person (both of which are pretty rad! [applying it and experiencing it]). 

Thank you ๐Ÿ’• (I don't want you to think I'm trying to fish for compliments or flattery, I just want to let you know that I appreciate everything you do and you in every way ☺️ thank you for being an amazing person, Bradley). I guess I  can relate to you there because I find you absolutely intriguing and knowledgable, you can always teach me something new, but also you can be a hooligan - it's the best of both (many) worlds hahaha. (There are so many things out in the world ready to be absorbed and sometimes I feel like I haven't experienced any, so that's why, but thank you! I try to learn what I can ☺️) 

(That 70s show is the best man! I do the same hahaha [Which reminds me that we should have a that 70s marathon one day ☺️]). Aimlessly noodling on guitar (or any instrument) is pretty cool ๐Ÿ˜Š yeah I feel you about the keeping busy and not just sitting around. I always try to do that but I always find myself rechecking social media, which is a habit I'm trying to break, it suuuuucks, but I'm getting better at it ๐Ÿ˜Ž 
Of course I'm still interested! Just let me get a copy and we can start after that. I'm also still interested in learning about those Swedish Fairy tales and their illustrations (I think I mentioned this before), don't think I've forgotten hahaha 

We'd have to talk to Anna about it she doesn't seem to follow up on it! I just messaged her about it, I'll let you know what she says. Ok let's do it and also let her know that there's the possibility that Bry will be in California at that time! 

Hey ๐Ÿ˜ You got that car and now you can try to come over more often and chill here, enjoy the (hot and humid) Cordova summer ✨ 
(Ok I won't hahaha. Let's go, I'm down! Oxford and the Picnic ☺️) 

I think you told me about one of those short stories (I don't remember it too clearly ๐Ÿ˜“), I think it's the 1984-esque one. If you remember the name, I'll take a read, I'll read the destructors for now ☺️ Ok cool! Let me know what you think about it whenever you do get the chance to read it ๐Ÿ˜Š You should also check out some of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's short stories, they're pretty cool! I've only read a few that Fig would give me as separate assignments, but I don't remember the names of them.
Yes! I can't wait ☺️ True, Goucher does have a decent journalism program, we'll see about it though! Maybe once I'm there I change my mind and follow a journalism path, who knows ๐Ÿ˜… Being able to watch films and then write about them would be so rad! You're
right, both of my passions in one hahah. I remember watching Almost Famous for the first time a while ago and being like "THAT is what I want to do" and then I had this big dream of writing for a music magazine (granted at the time I wanted to write for AP magazine, this lame pop punk magazine, but the idea is still pretty relevent!). 

It really is ๐Ÿ˜Œ it's fascinating how you can capture those moments in different ways, makes it easier for everyone to find their own way of preserving those moments. 

But really! Like I mentioned before, these things may seem insignificant at the moment, but in retrospect they are all little puzzle pieces to a bigger picture in the future ✨ 

I never thought of the work promotion aspect of it, that's very true! I really have to think this whole career thing through because a traveling job seems very ideal since you are making a living and experiencing the world simultaneously (or at least that's what I'm telling myself...). Yeah I guess so, but it's always worth visiting quaint places that make that individual city unique, I don't know, it could be anything! The movie "Defiance"? I'll have to check that out! Little farming towns are very quaint also in the way that everything is very close knit and the people have this sentimental attachment to it...sort of like Cordova where it may be in bumfuck nowhere, but it has these little parts that just fill me with joy and flood me with memories ✨ What about Cordova has grown on you? And like you said sort of stuck in the past because things seem to be more paced and people are more content with the way they live there...nothing to fancy like superfluous modern technology, but just being happy...being? I love local shops and such because it seems like these places you are at have an know who the people manning it all are, they're not just a faceless big name, but an actual person you may know. Local bands are also very rad! (Not that I've associated myself with many, but I can appreciate and understand what they are doing ๐Ÿ˜Œ). 

Thank you, that really means a lot
to me, it really does ☺️❤️

You have a lot and broad knowledge about different styles and components songs are composed with and music in general, you could probably combine and mess around with different types to create a sound that feels right and unique to you. If not the generic/amateurish music can have potential, but it's whatever path you feel you need to take ๐Ÿ˜Œ If performance didn't make it, what other music careers would you pursue?  

It's very sad and pathetic, but it all goes back to as long as we live out lives how we want to, it doesn't really matter what others do with theirs (even if it is being the way they are....). 
Ok! I absolutely love it when you share and inform me on things new to me ๐Ÿ’• 
That sounds very interesting and I'd definitely would like to know more about it, so I am going to take you up on that ☺️ (Remind me to get myself a copy soon and we'll get on that) 

(hahaha stooooop #byebrad2k14). Music festivals now are very commercial and superficial. It's about the clothes you wear, the accessories you have, and so on... it's very stupid because it's become more of an image thing than a genuine interest for music (In general, not speaking for every single person at a music festival of course). 

Americans want to make it seem like they are open to everyone and for everyone. That this is the land of "opportunity", when in reality they may not be as up for it as they claim. Such as when they said when this country was founded that all men are created equal...well yeah, if you're a white male who owns land (therefore rich). It's the same now, everyone has "equal opportunity to succeed" but if you coincide with American whiteness, Christianity, and whatever else our American-ness may entail. Like you said, it needs to be to the point where our myriad of races/cultures/etc can intermingle without any fear of one another and at this point that is crucial seeing how we are a very diverse nation. 


B: Of course ☺️ that's what I'm here for, and there's nothing but the best to be seen in you. And I understand not wanting to complain, but you should still talk about it, there's a difference between the two. 
I understand that, but please don't worry about that, you won't be scaring me away. You're so welcome, and thank you ๐Ÿ’–
That's okay, because I don't always need an answer, but the fact that you're willing to listen is more than enough. I know that you genuinely do care. 
And thank you so much๐Ÿ˜Œ the same goes to you, I'm always here. I love you 


B: It's kinda scary too, like how we for even notice the change, and then it kinda sneaks up on us and all of a sudden something that was part of what we knew as us is completely changed. I know there's so much change to come and things to learn and I can't even imagine what could happen. I definitely look forward to it, I just gotta make sure the change remains in a positive direction, which is the hard part because it's so easy to just give in to being lazy and apathetic and changing in bad ways. But imagine all the potential we have if we've come this far in such a short time. 

I can dig that, like just the fact that you are trying to discover yourself and put your thoughts out there in a more "real" way  is merit worthy. That's very true, but sometimes confusion is a good thing? Because it means you're challenging yourself. ( it's kinda akin  to art, because if you're always making things that work and ar good it means you probably aren't changing anything, are becoming stagnant and not getting better. Bad results come from not being familiar with something and if you're not familiar with it then you're doing something new which is growth) but I agree, anyway you can put yourself out there is great

Yeah exactly, and being picky in those aspects in that case is very important and it can cause you to come up with new ideas yourself, and bring great stuff to the conversation.  I know you can talk though hahaha I think it's a good thing, at least it works for us, cause I never know what to talk  about, and just prefer to listen anyway
Ohh no there's nothing worse than when someone makes a point they can't defend, or tries to argue something they don't know about. I never really understood it, but I guess some people just like conflict/being right/being pretentious pricks more than they cAre about learning ( "the few and the many" to quote Plato [ I could not be more pretentious]) 
By diary entries doyou mean the stories in those books?? Hahaha they're cool though, I could see you taking something like that and writing more 'serious' satire type stuff.  if so I would to read anything you have ๐Ÿ˜˜

(Rip California trip ⛪️)

I need to start driving down there and hanging out more these next few weeks. We still need to get some serious Cordova star gazing in
Let's make a plan for this oxford day!!!

Yeah I think I mentioned it once. It's pretty cool, I wish I remembered what it was called or the author, ugh. But the destructors is really cool, I remember I actually found it because they referenced it in Donnie darko hahaha. 
( mental note, I'm going to read it as soon as I finish typing this ) and I'll look him up as well! (What's his writing like?) I don't know what I waste all my time alone doing, but I need to spend more of it reading 
Who knows, I think it's so rad that you're not sure what you want to do but you're still so dedicated and driven to preform well and learn. That's going to afford you so many opportunities to grow and find yourself, especially when you really get settled into school and have so much to pick from. Journalisim could be really sweet though ( you should snag Ethan one day and talk to him about it if you're it's Something you might find cool) who knows what could happen though. I don't know, maybe that's kind of a lame thing to say ( that I just suggest you combining your two loves) but it's a thought. Who knows maybe that little moment you felt when you watched almost famous was right ( maybe not for a pop punk magazine, but yenno) 
I don't actually know If I've told anyone this, but the moment when I realized I wanted to learn to draw was when I was hanging out with a few friends of mine and there was a group sitting at tw table next to us, wherever we where, and he did a little sketch of his two friends sitting across from him on a napkin, and I was so captivated by it that I just felt the need to learn how to do it. 
Obviously that was only the beginning and just a stupid little thing that sparked me into starting and it wouldn't be till much later that I actually realized it was something serious, but still the point stands. 
Don't shrug off those little moments where you feel driven to do something, because they could unfold to much lager things if you peruse them

It is kind of cool, the ultimate goal would be to create something that could make someone else share that moment with you and experience it with you 

( philosopher Kat yessss)  but really that is so true and it's so beautiful  

I mean for self employed type stuff it's needed. I mean look at easton this week with plein air going on, all these artist coming from all over to show their work here and hope to make some money. It really is ideal, I mean the only problem I could see with it is it being hard to create lasting relationships if you're moving around all the time/very rarely home. Also if you want to have a family it would be kinda hard 

True, I've never really been much for touristy stuff, so that sounds so much more appealing anyhow. Yeah the movie! With the dueling banjos and all hahaha. I've only seen it once, a while ago, but I remember it being pretty good! Yeah exactly they're so cute and quaint, I just imagine those little towns that are all like dirt roads and people just drive around in their beatup old trucks, there's one little general store (like rices hahaha) idk it's like one of those "secondhand nostalgia" things to me. What parts of Cordova stand out to you like that? I don't know I just love that little area by where Alex lives, it's so cute and quiet back there and then there's those few little stores on that road that are really cute, I mean it's probably not the kind of place I'd want to live, but it is quite a lovely little place. I know exactly what you mean, it's like now with all the technology and having things so easily accessible people take a lot of stuff or granted and are always wanting more, but those little places that seem like they've been trapped, like they appreciate things more. People are so spoiled by technology and shit that they can't appreciate what's there ( not that I'm exempt from that mindset but you know) yeah I love that about little stores, and they just have more personality than some generic corporate store or whatever. Local bands are so great cause they're just doing it for the love of it( maybe not yet, but you've been getting to meet a few f then and get familiar, who knows, maybe you'll get involved in the Baltimore scene, that'd be so sick [as long as you don't get caught up in that weird tumblr/teen suicide thing they have going on, ugh hahah] )

Yeah, but I'm so limited in my musical knowledge
, only knowing one instrument, not being good at digitally making anything, and not havering anyone who wants to form a band, kinda limits a lot of the things I'd love to be able to do with my music/places I can expand.  True, there are a lot of really simple bands that are very excellent ( Ramones duh) I don't know, it's not my main focus so I don't worry too much
I don't know, I could get into jingle writing, or just writing songs for others, recording, production any of that could be cool!

It's best to jus not worry about that as long as it doesn't effect you and you can live how you want, you're right
AHHH now that we've both got it we have to start reading, I need to just start over cause I've taken such a break. I should have plenty of time for it on this stupid family vacation 

That's lame, I jus want to go to one where people care just about the music and having a good time. 
But it just seems that that might not be possible. I don't know what it is with our generation, it's like we have some huge large scale identity Crisis that's just making everyone hugely image obsessed, it's like people are more in love with the ideas of doing things than actually doing them. I've never really understood it. But it's like akin to people who go to concerts and take pictures the whole time, like they care more about proving that they did it later than just enjoying it.

They definitely aren't as into it as they like to claim to be, i think it's more of a tag line than a mantra. That's true, privileged people are clearly more likely I succeed, and kf course there and things in place like affirmative action an other programs that set out to help underprivileged people,(and they're good and helpful don't get me wrong)  but the truth is that I America had stuck to it's own words from the beginning and had actually created a country based on equality for everyone since the beginning then we wouldn't even need these things. 
And hopefully one day we'll be able to get to that point, but it really is going to take someone standing up and really doing something 


K: It really is. I guess that's why it's kind of hard to really figure out "who you are" because we're constantly changing. It's also cool to see how despite all the changes we go through, what things stay the same throughout that entire time. What are some things that have stayed the same over your life? (or in the past few years?). There's so much that can be accomplished with a right mindset/direction! I feel like I've become lazy and apathetic in some aspects of my life, but the fact that I recognize it is helping me turn those around, slowly, but surely. Giving in to those feelings is pretty scary because like you said before they are so subtle and next thing you know you can't get out because you've been changed completely. 

I suppose so! It's also very therapeutic since it's like having someone there to listen to all of what's in your head without actually sharing it to anyone. No judgement, no need for another person to know your thoughts. That's why I love it ๐Ÿ˜Œ 
I've never really thought about confusion much or what it entails, but that's a clear and great way to put it! Crazy how you can find growth in anything! 

Not only bringing great stuff into the conversation, but also expanding your own knowledge and allowing to build upon the one you already know. People have a lot to say and offer, good and bad, you just have to be open to it and decide for yourself what you want to do with it and that requires fully listening. 
Oh my yes you do hahaha I can talk an earful about so many things and little anecdotes about anything really. I find that kind of cool though, that we can associate almost anything to some aspect of our lives and we never really knew it. I don't want you to think I'm forcing you to talk when you don't want to (maybe I am....๐Ÿ˜ณ that time at Out of the Fire [or elsewhere]), but I feel like you know a lot and even though you think your life is lame or has been, it's the little moments and stories that make up most of our days ☺️ Sometimes I feel that way so I just go into that whole little anecdote sharing (which I should probably tone down now that I think about it) or I just don't say anything at all really. 
I don't think those people fully understand it either, they just go along with their mindset and what they've been predisposed to without much thought because they never cared enough to put themselves out there. It's pathetic and disappointing. ([maybe just a rad more, but you're almost there hahahah]) 
Oh no way! Those little stories in "the book" are completely stupid and meant to be funny with no real anything in then hahaha. Diary entries are more so euphoric moments and sad moments in my angsty teenage life, they're too embarrassing to show (hence "diary" lmao). I could see myself writing satire too! It's my favorite genre because it scolds things in a humorous way, yet tends to be very serious and have great points. Oscar Wilde and Kurt Vonnegut are my favorites in that literary aspect. I'd be more than happy (and nervous) to show you! (It's exposing a very personal depth in my self, so that's pretty scary). 

(I'm sorry ๐Ÿ˜” I really am, you know that if it were all up to me, I'd be all for it and done in a heartbeat, but I still have to follow my parents rules or whatnot and here we are today. I wanted to have a rad trip with you and many days together before we leave, so I'm going to try to leave a few days earlier!) 

When you come back spend some days here or just come chill with me in my yard or wherever. Stargazing has to happen! ๐Ÿ”ญ Some nights are very beautiful and I always want to take a picture and send it to you, but they never come out the way they should and don't compare to the actual thing. Another thing I wish you could see here is those warm summer night thunderstorms. It thunders and lights so few seconds after each other it's quite a sight ✨
Ok! When you come back! I'll even take off work and we can also use Alex's new grill ๐Ÿ˜ 

That's pretty cool! I didn't even pick up on that and I love that movie (also mental note: add to tonights/tomorrow's to-do list: reply to this text message, read some folk tales, start Fundamentalist, read Destructors). He's a pretty cool guy! He tend to cover different periods of time and generations in his novels but he weaves them so well that you never really realize when time has passed (if that makes any sense? maybe it doesn't because he can be very confusing). He's a Latin American writer and he uses Latin culture in his writing and also writes in Spanish, so all of his stories are originally in Spanish and they sound so eloquent. When they're translated in English they are still good because the story lines are good, but the language loses it's magic and may sound glib. That's one of the reasons I love the book Lolita by Nobokov; he's a Russian writer who's first language is Russian, not English. In fact, English isn't even his second language, it's his third! Yet, he wrote (not translated) Lolita in English and the book is so intriguing and the way Humber Humbert (the protagonist) expresses himself lures you in and makes you forget the fact that he's a pedophile in love with a 12 year old girl. God, I just love books hahaha, I'm just on the same boat as you... I need to read more and I have no idea why I've been putting it off for so long. 

Thanks ๐Ÿ’š I just can't stand the fact of not going for something and trying my best to do it (even if it doesn't go well) because I know that with a effort I can accomplish so much in whatever I choose (yes! there's so many possibility, I just have to pick one I'll enjoy and stick with it) and I'm pretty fortunate of being open to opportunities that my parents and so many people didn't or don't even have, so I'm going to do whatever it takes to get ahead and grow in my life, yenno? 
It really could be! I just feel like journalism would most likely result in a media job such as a newspaper or so (because it takes more time to write a novel and lengthier more personal works) and I'd have to live somehow in the meantime and I don't know how I feel about writing for the media (I don't want to sound pretentious, really). I feel like writing for it makes words lose their magic and it becomes more of a conglomeration of junk to fill the page and complete a deadline. (I would really love to! I'd like to get an opinion from him since he's actually been through that experience and knows way more than I do ๐Ÿ˜Š). 
That's such a little moment in your life, but look at what's it's turned into! I find that absolutely amazing, even though it wasn't me that saw it, but just knowing that it doesn't have to be some drastic event for your life to become what it will, but it can be something like a captivating observation on a random night. Knowing that will keep me open to any little thing because who knows what can be my changing point ๐Ÿ˜Œ What happened after that? Like how did you go about actually starting to draw to get to the point where you are today? (I do remember you saying you you used to draw anime and then sketches you would always show Mr. Crist). 

Yes! It's beautiful and in a way rewarding to find someone to see things the way that you do. I can try to imagine creating something and then someone seeing it mutually and how that can be uplifting since it's something personal and raw and it's being comprehended.

(Oh my.... oh no.... ๐Ÿ˜ง)  

Having a place to call home is always nice. I've always wondered about that, mostly with musicians. How they're always touring and traveling and how they keep up with their families if they have any. I'm assuming it would be hard emotionally and obviously physically. Long lasting relationships are pretty worthwhile, it's a very sad reality knowing that you may not be able to have that. I guess everything had their pros or cons, you'd just have to contemplate which you're willing to sacrifice or just compromise with what you have. 

Hahaha dueling banjos, what are you even watching man (I'll make sure to add it to my list ๐Ÿ˜). Secondhand nostalgia is a great way to put it! It has this ever-looming feeling of how life was once in that run down town. Memories were made, people got away, people left, families were created, and so much more in such a quaint little place. That's kind of what the town where my mom grew up is like. It's a town located in a valley in some mountains in central Mexico. The roads aren't dirt (some smaller ones are), but brick paved and the building are painted brick that is starting to chip. Everyone knows each other and knows the town up and down. Since it's in a valley, it tends to be very cold early in the morning and late at night, which is one thing I loved. I'll have to tell you about it in person, there's so much detail to it! The area where Alex lives is one of my favorite parts of Cordova, it's also the most closely packed (you could say it's the "downtown" of Cordova). I absolutely love there, like you mentioned Rices is cute because it's a very family-based general store where you know the owner and he runs it all. Also the people who shop there have most likely shopped there for generations/years. The parts that stick out to me the most are the big open fields with the farm houses with the big barns and grain cylinder things in the back that have animals (mostly cows and horses) grazing all around and have hay rolls for acres. I love the smell of fresh cut grass and the yellow/brown dust that tractors expel when mowing down grain and packing hay. Weirdly, I enjoy the gross manure smell that everyone in Cordova has grown used to (it's not the shit smell you sometimes get a whiff of while driving, but a mulchy kind...I can't describe it). I also love this little snippet of road (I've put it on my snapchat story before) that is completely covered in trees, so it's very green and kind of dark. I'll have to drive you down there soon ๐Ÿ’š. I also love the baseball field in the back of Chapel District because it reminds me of my childhood days and lastly the little woods behind my house and the rock road that leads to it where I have a little spot by a tree and a stream where I go and sit and have some time to myself. There are other little things that call to me here, but those are the most "crucial" I guess. 
Not that I'm exempt from it either, but yes! Somehow with all the facility of the modern world, they, whenever these people or towns may be, are content with the analog world and aren't caught up. It gives things a more personal and hands-on presence. 

I may not be in a local band, but I feel like I understand that love for the music and rush of it all! It's like when I was organizing the talent show, it wasn't really about the amount of money we raised (which what we raised we DID donate so that was pretty cool) or the actual prize and talent itself, but the rudh of setting it all up, the hard work put into it and being able to bring all those people together was better than anything. (Dude that'd be so rad I seriously can't wait until I sink some roots into Baltimore and learn my way around that scene, if I ever do [oh no........I'm not hip enough])

There's no way you can know everything and there's tons of music that you probably won't be opened up to until later and that's ok! The fact that you're trying and expanding your knowledge constantly is what matters. Like anything, learning an instrument, reading music (which I'd like to teach you if you let me!), or digital making, takes practice and dedication to learn! Forming a band is harder because you have to find people who are willing (I never really pulled through because I get so nervous because of how bad I actually am compared to all of my friends or everyone else in general I couldn't bear to do it......๐Ÿ˜”).
(Yeeeees the Ramones whose songs sound so similar but  
Jingle writing hahaha that reminds me of Juno. That's so cool though! I feel like I'd really enjoy managing if performing never works out for me. 

Oh my this family vacation of yours. What can I even say, you are too bothered and I wish you were here (*David Gilmour voice*), but just read a lot and try make the best of it! 
I want to start reading it so bad, but I have a list to get through: Reluctant Fundamentalist (find it first...), finish Brave New World, Watership Down and the start The Republic ๐Ÿ˜ณ 

Doesn't seem like it at festivals that tend to have bands that aren't local or small or whatnot. Exactly! (I was thinking of that very same example hahaha) Making sure people know what you're doing and with who to give yourself an image or associate yourself with a certain crowd or whatever. There's not going to be a genuine enjoyment because of it's very surface-level nature. 

But really! A tag line. They do help, but there's just so much to it that is so wrong, but with good intentions, that make it so sad. I remember being in the guidance office one day discussing college plans and I told Ms. Allen that I was thinking of applying to UMD College Parks School of Science and she's like "well you need at least a 3.9 to get in (I had a 3.8 at the time), but since you're hispanic I guess they can let you in with a 3.7" and I just remember being so upset for a while after that because I felt that my race had nothing to do with how my brain works or my hard work and dedication. That standards shouldn't be lowers for me because of my race or gender. I have mixed feelings about AA, but I guess if they work to peoples advantage it's best to take it, especially if it means somehow bettering your life. Exactly! Much like the need for the term "feminism". 
One day, all we can do now is be part of an open-minded cause. I feel like we're in a good starting place. Personally, I feel that for being this young and open-minded, I have a lifetime to grow and be more open and do something about it. 


K: hey so I feel like I should tell you this in person because I don't really like how I keep saving feelings and such for text, but I guess I'll get it off my mind now. I've been thinking and I feel like my complaining about my parents is becoming very repetitive and annoying (to myself, so I'm sorry if it has to you too and anyone else) and I've just come to terms with what you said that they haven't adjusted and that makes complete sense. I guess it just made me upset because time is so limited, but I have to take whatever time I have and use it to my advantage. Whether it be me having to be home at 10 or being able to be out the whole night I'll make the best of it. Hopefully over the course of time things will loosen up, especially with going to college, because I know that your parents were and still can restrictive, Taylor's were and Alex's can be. So I'm sorry if this whole limitations thing has been very redundant, but I guess I was expecting too much too quickly. Thank you for listening to my constant complaining hahaha. Have fun the rest of your trip and I'll see you soon! 

B: Don't worry about that, it's not a big deal and it really doesn't bother me, and I know you need a way to vent, plus I'm constantly complaining about something so I have no room to complain. It will get better I'm sure like you said, after college starts. And yeah I know it makes me upset too, but together we can make the best of it ๐Ÿ˜˜ I know we don't have much time but we'll use what we have.  Don't be sorry Kat, And you know I want to be here to listen to you and talk to you and just be there in general so don't apologize. I love you so much, and thank you for talking to me ๐Ÿ˜Š

K: I guess this was the big parent vent, it'll die down now that I've accepted it hahaha. I'll just try to follow whatever they say, I won't have to be here for much longer anyways. Just know that whenever I can you know I try to be there with you and/or when the group hangs out. If I can't make it it's because I really can't ๐Ÿ˜” Thank you for understanding that and listening to me ๐Ÿ˜Œ I love you Bradley ๐Ÿ’• 

B: Alright ahahah but really it doesn't bother me, I hope it doesn't seem so. And I know you try to be there as much as possible, I really do. You're welcome katya๐Ÿ’•
I'll see you tomorrow!?! ( and if not then definitely Sunday) 


K: ๐Ÿ˜Œ❤️
Yes tomorrow! Just let me know what you have planned and I'll try to get out of whatever ๐Ÿ˜Ž If not, Sunday, coffee date (I want to hear about that very exciting vacation of yours) and maybe some shenanigans here and there? 


B: Not only are we constantly changing but as we try to 'find ourselves' we're trying out new things, exposing out selfs to new things and evaluating ourselves and thereby causing ourselves to change, so maybe it's just a circle. Over my life, I can't really think of too much that has stayed the same, but over the last few years definitely my interests in art and music have kinda stayed the same (although my tastes in each have changed). How about you? That's true! And there's so much time to make it happen you just have to have that drive. I've been the same, not putting as much time into my art as I should but I think when I go away I'll have an ex lent opportunity to turn that around. What do you feel like you've grown lazy towards? It is, it's horrifying actually, but I feel like if you're truly passionate about something then you should be able to escape those apathetic feelings

I've never really thought of it quite like that, as a silent listener, that's really cool. I feel like with that kind of mindset you'll write things so much more personal, it's so sweet that you can use it as a tool like that and it has this byproduct that is something tangible and beautiful and raw. I mean most things that we feel that are negative (confusion, loss, sadness, what have you) all kind of mark or give opportunity for improvement and change (at least I feel)  not that positive things don't as well, but people are forced to find new solutions and reinvent things in times of hardship more so than times of comfort. At least that's how I feel, it's just interesting to take a look at things like that from multiple perspectives at times.

Yeah definitely, that might be the hardest part, taking what is said and actually being able to turn it into an opportunity for learning,
wether you agree disagree or if what is said is right or wrong, again there's always room for growth and learning 

It's so cool that you do thAth though? I really do love listening to all the little anecdotes you tell, it is really Interesting though, how we can just make a connection I anything like that if you think back. I don't feel like your forcing me ( that was pretty funny [and the time at panera]) you shouldn't tone down your sharing if your little anecdotes, they're fun, and like you say it's those kinds of moments that make up our days  
that makes sense, I don't know it's just sad to me that some people are like that all the time, in the way they'd rather just argue and fight rather than learn anything.

Ohhh I gotcha hahaha. I didn't know you had a separate "diary" (although I guess there's no real reason for me to know anyhow) oh no, the angst teenage life, and more embarrassing than the book???!? That's intriguing  hahaha.  I never had a diary or a journal or anything of that sort, but I can only imagine how horribly embarrassing that would be to look back on, oh no.
I haven't read much satire, I'll have to check out one of those authors sometime soon! What works by them would you suggest? ( I feel that, and I wouldn't expect you to share if you weren't comfortable anyhow) 

OOOHH that sounds so lovely ๐Ÿ˜ I'd love to lay out there with you. Pictures just never are the same, but one of these last few nights we have to! And we can all have a cookout at Alex's and all๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’• the best!
That thunder sounds so nice, I love storms do much ( I was so mad I missed that big storm you had here las week) 

It's the part in the movie where Donnie is in class and he's talking about the story they read where the kids burnt all the old lady's money ( by the way how is the fundamentalist going for you, do you like t??) (that kinda makes sense hahaha I don't know maybe I'd have to read it to get it) I understand that though, some things just can't be translated, although you can always get the point across the diction can be so easily changed. Have you always read his works in Spanish or in English as well?? That's crazy, I didn't know that, I guess I always assumed it was just translated to English, I wonder what made him chose to write it in English??? I've never read it (or seen the film) although it's on the to read list ( the very long to read list hahaha) I guess I just figure that I'll get around to it at some point, but reading is probably never going to be my #1 priority 

๐Ÿ’– I feel that, and even if it doesn't go well if you work at it enough (at least in most cases) you'll be able to achieve what you want. There really are so many. (Maybe too many and that's why it's so hard to pick?)
Definitely, there's so much new out here that people even 15-20 years ago didn't have
I remember ms Philips would always talk about how she wished she did something else in the arts at school but back when she went they never really knew what kind of options they had 
That's all you can do for now though, grow in eery way you know how until you figure out your real passion 

That's not pretentious hahaha that's just what you like. I understand that though, it's like the same reason I wouldn't do illustration or design type work. ( even if journalism int your exact path he still may have something he can teach you it would never hurt to ask him)
It is, and it's really corny hahaha it's literally the epitome of a small moment changing your life completely. I think it's good to be aware that something that small can make a huge difference. But when you see something like that I think you'd just feel the spark. 
Oh man how DID that happen hahaha
Well after that moment i started drawing little  characture/anime type things (embarrassing) that continued untill I started doing more illustrative type stuff in like freshmen year, then beginning of sophomore year I tried to draw more "fine art" type stuff I guess then halfway through sophomore year I met mr Crist and saw his work which I just loved and that inspired me to really start practicing and drawing every day which is how I eventually got where I am now 

Exactly! But with all arts being so subjective it's so rare to find someone who will see your work jus the way you do, that's an extremely rare kind of connection 

I've wondered that too, but if that's what you really love doing and you can make a living at it I suppose it'd be worth it, and if your with someone who really loves you they'll understand and support you in that. But people make it work, so obviously it's doable, I'm sure it's not easy but, you know you gotta do what your heart tells you 

Yes dueling banjos hahah, I can't believe you've never even heard if deliverance, definitely give it a watch though! 
That's exact what it is, even though I've never experienced it and probably never will I still feel some weird connection to it.
That sounds so lovely, do you get to visit there often?!
I just Adore that little area and those couple of roads there, it's too sweet. (Downtown Cordova hahaha too good) I love the shitty hand painted lettering on the front of rice's it's so sweet, and yeah I'm sure there are families who have lved there forever, and who knows how long that little store has been there 
I guess that makes sense cause that's more of the part youLive in. Well now I've seen that little stretch of road and the baseball field ( oh my hahaha) too bad I never Got to go back in that little wooded area ๐Ÿ˜ž but maybe one day soon??
Yeah exactly, I want to find a little town like that sometime and spend some time there, perhaps one day 

Yeah that makes sense, I can see how it's similar, it's the sense of community and the thought that people are out here doing really cool stuf because of you. I've never organized anything big like that, but I can imagine the feeling of accomplishment. ( I'm sure you'll be able to, somewhere within baltimore's really weird music scene you'll find something.[or maybe you'll just get into gindcore][no, no one is hip enough, I can sense what a pretentious group they are

Yeah that's true, and it's impossible to know everything, I mean there's just soooo muh out there, but the more influences you can pull from the better. ( I'd love to learn to read music, I know some about. It but not much, and I'm by no means fluent in it) 
You just have to try, I mean if you never really go out and practice you're not going to improve. Plus there's tons of bands who start out and barely even know how to play you could do it. And the nerves never really do away( in my experience) but you deal with them, you shoulda seen me the first time I played in front of people, I was a wreck. 
(True, but [at first at least] the Ramones where making music like nothing else really before )
Yeah hahaha, but I feel like it could be fun!!? Managing would probably be the last thing on the music careered list for me though, performing would always trump it.

Oh my I was soooo bothered hahaha. I'm back now though, of course now you're leaving in a few days ๐Ÿ˜ž oh man, well maybe onthe plane and in your down time in Cali you'll be able to get some serious reading in.  

Even the smaller stuff tends to be like that I've noticed ( atleast what I've seen, apart from just like tiny local ands like penny and pony bones and any band of that sort. But you even see stuff like that at sun club)  that's it exactly, I don't know I just hate that philosophy (these frickin tumblr people man I tell you) 
It really is, I kinda pity them. It doesn't seem like it's something that's going to change anytime soon though. 

well there's good and bad to it, obviously when it undermines people like it did to you it's shitty, but it does make sense In some cases. It's been proven that children from lower class families don't do as well in school because they usually have more outside pressures to deal with, and White people, the government and the whole cycle of things in the US does a good job of keeping those people as the lower class (it's disgusting but true) so in that case I can understand how it could help give some students opera unities to succeed that they usually would not be afforded. ( of course I'm not saying it should be handed to anyone, if people can't prove their hard work I don't think try should be benefiting from AA)   
I see where you come from with it though definitely, it does have it's downfalls, and extremely smart people like yourself being patronized like that is one of them i guess. I don't think thats fair either
That's true, I just hope more people think the same way


K: That makes sense! We are constantly changing, yes, but the series or process we go through is similar (yet we are never fully aware what we are undergoing), even if what we're evolving into is different. I feel you because it's been a similar experience for me. I think it's inevitable to change, especially when you're growing up and you're being exposed to many different things (also it's kind of a "sensitive" period where you're vulnerable and somewhat influenced by the world, no matter what it is you're being influenced by [even if you're not aware] feel? ). I don't think I've changed drastically, really. I've always been limited in how much I share myself, reserved if you will, and have been a generally an independent person and so on...but over the years I feel like the biggest change I've gone through is how I've opened up in my ways and my mindset. I grew up a non-strict catholic, so those conservative thoughts still lingered and dominated how my parents brought me up...even if it wasn't fully in the name of "Jesus". I grew up with a racist, homophobic and generally closed-minded family that passed on those ideals. So making fun of blacks or middle-easterns, Asians, so on... was seen as normal. However, as I grew up I saw how utterly disgusting that was (of course it wasn't overnight...but you feel) and now I'm like the black sheep in my whole family (like extended family and all [even those my or around my age]). There's also the humanities interests like you mentioned! I don't think I became REALLY interested in listening to different types music until freshman year, before it was just playing saxophone, reading it and what I heard on the radio or what my older cousins listened to (hence blink 182, green day, FOB, PATD, and bands like that lmao). 
I also feel like you'll get back into the rhythm of things when you go back to school, it tends to happen that way! (That's why I'm not too worried about not studying or anything right now). What are you most looking forward to or anticipating about school? More so your art while you're at the school?
I guess what I'd ever really accomplished that seemed out of reach for me was a good spot in my health. I had always been overweight growing up and around the end of freshman year I'd had enough so I really focused on losing weight and becoming a generally healthy and active person, which it did happen (compared to how I was before), by junior year I'd lost about 50 pounds and felt good, however I'd become very obsessive with it so I spent time getting out of that weight-loss addiction and let the entire thing go. So I gained weight again and I'm not really active. So that's something else I'd like to work on. 
Very true ๐Ÿ˜Œ

It's pretty freeing! You should give it a try sometime if you ever want to let out anger, sadness, angst, happiness, whatever it may be. Maybe you'll end up liking it! Even if you don't, it doesn't hurt to try. No no, I feel you. I've never put much thought into it, but that makes a lot of sense and I agree. Not only do they allow room for change, but also a way to better deal and cope with our lives in present time. Like you said, we are forced to find different solutions in times of hardship, thus we become slightly wiser in said situation and are better equipped for similar situations or those that repeat themselves. 

Definitely! Perhaps it's a good thing that it's hard to turn it into something worthwhile because it proves that it requires effort and thinking to make something out of it. That it was processed and tossed around ones mind. If it were easy, it'd pass right through us and we wouldn't fully get what we can from whatever it is. 

That's a relief because I always get lost in storytelling without realizing it and I jump around from subject to subject, next thing I know I've talked for an hour and I feel like I've bored or annoyed you hahaha. That's why I always encourage you to share because 1. I love learning about you and 2. it makes up for all the unnecessary things I've said lmao. ([uhhhhhhh hahahah whoops sorry man๐Ÿ˜ฆ]).

Yes, and we also can't do anything about it. We can't preach and enforce others to change their ways, but ignoring their ignorance makes us seem apathetic and unaware of the world around us. It's a weird abyss. 

Picture a typical angsty teenage girl hunched over her desk furiously writing and maybe crying from sadness or anger. That's my diary hahaha. They're still feelings and emotions that are very much alive and relevant to my life right now, but they're more innocent and all around petty, that's why I'm embarrassed to show anyone (which I never would anyways hence "diary" lmao). The Book and my diaries are similar in the way the I cringe at my thought process at the time, more so the book because...well you know.....๐Ÿ˜. You should keep one, they'๐Ÿ˜. 

I've read a couple short stories by Oscar Wilde out of my literature book, but I don't remember the names exactly. You'd think I would since I like him, but it's more that I read his stories and he stood out to me in his manner of mocking society, but disguising his disgust in a comical way, so the people he's making fun of are aware of it, but aren't at the same time...if that makes any sense??? Kurt Vonnegut is a WWII vet so a lot of his stories have some sort of connection to his experiences as a WWII soldier. Read Cats Cradle, Slaughterhouse 5, Breakfast of Champions, and I'm going to read the Sirens of Titan, soon so I don't know about that one (yet). 

It seems that we're past that and I'm sorry that we never really got to fully enjoy being out in a Cordova those lovely nights because of all the people at my house and my dad, but I really appreciated that you would come out even for a little bit knowing how chaotic it is at my house (everyone else knows what they're getting into and they always make excuses hahah [sike no but its actually kinda bummy when they do that]). I love spending time with you even if we don't do anything or where we are. Maybe one day we'll be able to do it in peace ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ’• but I'm happy with this summer so I'm not complaining. 
That was an awesome storm! My favorite storm since I've lived here was one when I was probably 12 or 13 (in middle school for sure) and we still had our glass door on our front door, so we had the door open and the glass door closed and we could see everything (fun fact: our glass door broke off and shattered during a really bad storm [actually it may have been a hurricane I can't remember]). The sky was really dark grey and I remember lightning striking in the field behind our house very clearly and our trampoline flying across our yard (that was before we nailed it in the ground) and we had to run and get it. So we just sat and watched the chaos and then watched some movies until the lights went out. 

Oh! I do remember that part and how he was sharing his opinion on it, I never really payed attention to the title of the work they were discussing, but I'm glad you brought it up to me (I still have to read it! I have some free time now that I finished the Reluctant Fundamentalist. I liked it! I'd been hearing from the people on the Goucher page that it wasn't as good as they expected it to be, but I really enjoyed it. It wasn't very exciting or action filled but it covered this guys life in New York as a product of American Ivy League institutions as a foreigner and how he loses touch with his culture and his love life, so on. I like stories like that because they're very true to the character and are relatable to the shows that even though he's a man of up-and-coming society and Ivy League brilliant, he has has a normal life and also suffers prejudices as a Pakistani citizen in America. You should read it at some point in your life ๐Ÿ˜Œ even though I wouldn't call it a "crucial" read).

(I was actually going to give you it to read on the last day we hung out, but it slipped my mind). Exactly! They change the diction in order to make the translation make sense, however in doing that it takes apart the carefully constructed words and phrases the author put together to evoke a certain feeling, tone or mood. I've read his short stories in spanish because of Fig and my dad, but I've read One Hundred Days of Solitude in English, but I have a copy in spanish available so I'll add that on the list to read ๐Ÿ˜Š I've read Lolita, it's one of my favorites! but I've never seen the film, which is something that I also want to get around to (Kubrick's version, though, not the 1997 version [Which I may actually end up watching to compare]). (Oh my...that list...) I understand and that makes sense hahah. Reading is pretty fun to take up free time, but not to read and avoid your other responsibilities (which usually happens to me when I get into a book lmao).  

That's true. Keeping such a motivated mind set like this is going to help me a lot as well, and anyone. Keep that in mind, especially since you have something going for you as it is ❤️ 
There's SO much out there, but it's hard finding what's right for you and what may be right at age 20 may not be at age 40 or like you said growing in every way possible until you find your passion...but sometimes that may not even happen until after you go to college (but hey! you've found it ๐Ÿ˜Œ) so there's always that to add to the pressure of it all. 
Has she ever taken more classes or returned for more schooling? There's so much out there to learn! I believe she could do it if she was awarded the opportunity! (As in time, money, and other factors that may hold people back from additional training...) 

What's illustration and design type work like? (I'll give it a shot someday! Right now it's weird to imagine since I see him as the guy who would tell me what to do and when to go home hahah, but I will once I get the chance! [like talking to Mr. Worsham...he's a pretty cool dude]).
It's not corny since it's pretty significant since it sparked who you are today! I think it's actually very sweet and awe-some ๐Ÿ˜Š 
Even if you find it embarrassing, everyone has to start somewhere. You can't build a house without starting at ground-level; that was your ground-level. That's a pretty cool progression, and with more practice and dedication who knows where you'll be this time next year or in 10 years! I saw your (sort-of) painting of Alex, I was cracking up (at the 5 seconds I saw it for hahaha). 

That makes sense, since it is (or may be) a medium of expression of your innermost (whatever you may be trying to express or go for). (Maybe I didn't explain myself well...but I understand what you're saying). 

Of course! Things always work out for those who are willing to make them work out. 

I spent like 2 hours at the YMCA computer lab during work trying to find it online, but everything was blocked hahaha. I'm still gonna try and find it bc how can I not see some dueling banjos (my watch list of movies I missed out on growing up lmao). 
I've felt it in that little town and sometimes in Cordova, but it's only been a slight passer-by kind of feeling, not anything permanent. 
It's so beautiful there! I loved it as a kid. I haven't been in about 6 years and it's really hard to be there right now with the war on drugs and kidnappings (especially if you're an American...they assume you have a lot
of money) going on where my parents are from, so we try to go all-together. My parents went 2 years ago and I remember being on an edge that entire week. It's some pretty scary stuff. 
(It's teeming with a social life, it's the pride of the entire City of Cordova, Bradley. You don't GET IT). It has that America-Dream feel to it, it's so quaint and cute ๐ŸŒพ I can just pictures families in the 20th century there; women chatting on their front porch and their kids running around the neighborhood and those kids growing up to be great friends and they stay there and it just becomes a familiar place for them and their families to come. It's a homely feeling that maybe I wouldn't partake in myself, but I appreciate. 
Yeah, we all have emotional attachment to our childhood surroundings. Alex and I always have these weird growing-up-in-Cordova talks where we talk about the weird things we learn to love there (like the weird shit-mulch smell or the landfill...yes the landfill). I'm glad you could see that little piece, even if it wasn't much I really love it ๐ŸŒณ๐Ÿ’• Oh my.....the baseball childhood. Hopefully I'll take you back there when we next hang out! It's not much, but it's quiet and a perfect little place to spend some alone time. What do you have anything that you have some
sort of fond memory or attachment to?
Yes, perhaps ๐Ÿ˜Œ 

It's a pretty great feeling seeing all of your hard work finally pay off when you see the rush of people coming into the venue, the chaos you're in and just seeing everyone have a good time. (We'll see! [oh yeah there's always that hahaha. Don't doubt I'll go to one though, I need to see them for myself] [pretentious....nooooo, I don't believe it]).

Exactly, just put yourself out there musically and learn what you like and what you don't. Yeah that's very true, it's just pretty nerve wracking being in front of people and you'd expect I'd be more comfortable around you guys, but nooooo (oh my I wish I could've seen that hahaha). Hopefully they'll have a music room with available instruments at Goucher so I can use it (this is another aspect I've become apathetic in in my life - playing music). 
I'm not saying it doesn't sound fun hahahah. Of course performing would always be the dream ๐Ÿ˜ but I think I'd enjoy managing (something about organizing and control that just gives a rush ๐Ÿ˜Ž) 

It's over now man, your last forced family vacation! I thought this vacation would be long and stupid and I was pretty upset the first night just thinking of the two weeks ahead of me. But once I was with everyone I realized it wouldn't be that bad, Cali will be even better ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ˜ 
I did get some time to read! (I also got some downtime to reply to this message hahah) I'm done the Fundamentalist and I kind of wish I brought Watership Down, but instead I brought the Swedish Folk Tales to finally finish it ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Well based on that it seems that almost anywhere you go, you will run into people like that. I guess we gotta spite and cope man lmao (they're really something special for sure ๐Ÿ˜ถ)!

I'm not saying it doesn't provide aid and is an advantage to those who don't have the same opportunities as we do to succeed and carry on their education, beyond the basics (if even), it really does and I agree with everything that you said. The lower class does reap the disadvantages of society, but that's the thing - The lower class (and others yes...) who doesn't have the same opportunities, but those who are willing to seek help or receive that that is offered should receive it. Granted most of the lower class is composed of minorities, but I feel like race shouldn't be a prime factor, but their ability to obtain things such as a high school or higher education. I just feel like I've been exposed to the same education as say you and I feel like just because of my race my standards shouldn't be lowered. I should compete with everyone else. But I'm not a AA expert, that's just from my personal experience, but I'm gonna look more into all the specific details and everything, yenno? 


K: So I just finished (finally) the book of Swedish Folk Tales you let me borrow and I ended up growing very fond of it. I feel like I've missed out on a big part of my childhood (not growing up as a Scandinavian child hahaha). Anyways, I'm really happy you let me borrow and turned me on to it. I'd love to hear your opinions and thoughts on those stories and their content. Oh and now I have some new found endearment for Anna Wahlenberg and Alfred Smedberg ๐Ÿ˜Œ 


B: AHHH yes! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, It really resonated with me a lot as well. ( haven't we all missed out in that respect??)  I'd like to hear more of what you think as well๐Ÿ˜Š
Those are the 'authors' of some of the stories right? ( I never really remembered the names) but yeah they're awesome little works. And you can read tons more online ( I hate reading from a screen like that but In this case it's probably the only way to view these things) Russian folk tales are also very interesting if you can find some of those!
I'm so glad you enjoyed it ๐Ÿ˜˜

K: (I guess we have!). It's crazy these are A LOT older than I expected then to be (apparently they existed before Christianity was introduced around 1300!). 
Yes, they are. They're are many other authors featured in that book, but Anna Wahlenberg was the most frequent and the one that stuck to me the best. 
I'll check some out in the future for sure ๐Ÿ˜Œ (Yeah I feel you....I started th Destructors and let me tell you, reading it off my phone is a pain in the ass). For now I'll gravitate towards the Russian folk tales (they sound pretty interesting). 
Thank you ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’•


B: I agree there, I mean most people that are from the same time period are going to go though very similar processes I feel like. Of course there are extreme outliers, but you know. 
it's interesting to see how people who are exposed to pretty much the same thing Handel it differently and are altered by it in different ways. Change is definitely inevitable, I mean it you're not changing then you're not learning and that's no good, especially at this age, like you said ( it's definitely a "vulnerable" time in our lives and on too of that we're about to reach the point where we're exposed to more new things than ever)
Just because you don't share much and are more independent doesn't mean you're less likely to change though, granted it probably causes a different kind of a change, more of an introspective type as opposed to being influenced by others and their thoughts of you. 
It sucks that you had to be raised into that ( I kinda was to in the fact that my whole family was racist/homophobic/religious [and usually justified the earlier with the latter] but even at a young age there was never a point where I believed in god or any religious stuff ) at least you over came that, it's a hard thing to do I'm sure and a lot of people don't, especially with being raised in the midst of it and surrounded by it your whole life. 
Yeah it took me till like 7th grade to start developing my taste in music, some people never develop their own taste, and just listen to hat they think they "should" listen to lmao
Even though those bands kinda blow... It was probably a starting point for your music taste, and I guess that's the purpose they should serve, at least in my idea, you have these entry level bands that are very accessible and they help you develop your taste. ( or like my room mate they never change ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ”ซ)

I mean that's what I was hoping but now i don' know cause I don't have a damn art class...
Studying is a bit different  though, you can really fall out of the swing with art. But luckily this week I found some time to do some painting and drawing to brush up a bit. Yeah mostly I was looking forward to having more competition for art 
I guess I I don't get a class I'm going to have to sneak in the studios and do some shit myself.
How about you? What are you most stoked on?

That's A great thing to accomplish and you should be proud of yourself for getting yourself into better health (god knows I could do the same hahaha with my awful eating habits) 
Of course everything is good in moderation, and wether or not weight loss is a priority for you now or no matter what you think of it, you really are gorgeous now and have been since the first time I saw you back in freshmen year ๐Ÿ˜ and I'm very glad that you're in good health now.

Maybe I will! I've never written in that manor at all before, the only time I really write is when it's assigned for class or something like that, never for myself. That's Exactly it, you just have to figure out how to use these situations in your favor, and how to learn from them, but you almost always can in one way or another.
Oh, it's definitely a good thing, if you didn't have to work for it there wouldn't feel like there's a real reward at the end. For any passion like that I feel like you have to go through the whole process of learning to do things for the process of them more than for the results. 

I know! That's what I love about it, it's just so uninhibited and you just say what you want, it's so like stream of conscience, I love seeing you get all wrapped up in that. I can imagine your writing being a lot like your speech in that way, like hopping topic to topic but it all still kinda flows together too ( I don't know, cause you said your writing was like "jumbled" ). I'm just bad at sharing, unless I really find a reason to talk about myself I don't like to do it that much, not cause I don't want to share, but I just feel like there's not much there to share. And I never think you say anything unnecessary hahahah  

That's true, I guess in the end all youcan do is have your beliefs and share them when people are willing to Listen.

Hahaha I can see it very clearly, angry little Kat scrawling away Into her diary. I find it pretty cool that you did that though, do you still keep a diary? I feel you, I don't think that I'd ever be able to share something like that either, but it's pretty cool that you can see how your feelings from then to now relate/change/stay the same. And yeah I know hahahaha 
Yeah....seems like it, Perhaps not. Hahaha 

Ahh, well if you remember the mars f any that stood out to you, you should tell me! But yeah I understand what you mean, it's hard to keep track of names sometimes, especially when your just going through things like that ( it's forever happening to me with music, I'll listen to a record and really dig a few songs an completely forget which by the end) I kinda get what your saying there... But maybe I'll read some and I'll understand more.
I didn't know that, but I'll give some of those a read for sure! Let me enter the world of satirical short stories 

Yeah I guess we have ๐Ÿ˜ž but we always had fun anyhow, and there's always next summer (and maybe even this winter?) I don't mid the chaos that much, it's worth it to spend a little time with you ๐Ÿ˜˜ ( yeah that's really lame though ๐Ÿ˜ž oh well I don't mind your house that much haha) I hope we can soon. But I'm not complaining either ☺️

Ooohhh that sounds so nice, I always love just watching storms out of the windows and all. No way, the storm took the whole door right off???  I don't really have a favorite storm, but the one that stands out is this time when I was really little ( when we lived in st mikes) and I just say on this little step in our living room and looked out these big windows at the storm for hours. I hope one day we get to Hang out through a big storm like that, that would be so lovely ๐Ÿ’•

It really does sound intresting!  I love books like that as well, like catcher in the rye, the kind of book that really lets you see things through someone else's experience and mind set. It's so interesting to read books like that and really try to dive I into the character and understand how/why they see things the way they do. I mY have already asked you, but is the book non-fiction? It does seem cool, I might just do that!!

( aww man, you've never given me my book for our book exchange ๐Ÿ˜ž) yeah I feel that, some things just can't be retained in translations. It could be a really cool thing to read them and compare the two ( original and translation) and see what sticks out as being different. (You may as well watch both ahaha) I had just assumed you'd seen it because you and Alex always talk about it. But I don't think Alex has read the book??
Yeaahh see I'm always wanting to read but I usually decide it would be better for me to paint or draw or whatever.

It really will! It'll help us both. And I will definitely keep it in mind ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•
There is soooo much, it's overwhelming almost, and for me it's only gotten more overwhelming, I feel like im always getting into new things and finding new interests and trying to find time to juggle them. It os hard, some people just get lucky and stumble on it earlier, some people are unlucky and have to work a lot to realize they've found their passion. Your right it may not happen till later, but college is a good place to expose yourself and find it. I can see how it could cause some pressure, but like I've said before you can't worry too much about it, as long as your trying hard And exposing yourself to stuff you'll get there at some point

I don't think she has, besides taking classes she's required to for her job. (Yeah, plus she's a single parent with 2 kids, I don't think she'd have the time, I wish she would though) it may be something she pursues when she gets older and her kids grow up 

It's more commercial and direction oriented, and as far as the artwork goes it's more of the type of stuff you'd see on a shirt, a billboard or something like that (like as opposed to fine art the style of it isn't quite adapted for those purposes, like think how weird just a photo reproduction of an oil painting or something would look on a tee shirt) but in general that type of work tends to be more of people hireling you to draw/design something specific  where as a fine artist (generally) is more self directed and bases what they do on personal philosophy and what they want to do
Yeah I guess that would be weird just talking to Ethan like that after he was your boss ( yes! Worsham!! I miss that guy!)

I guess so, it's still a really weird way to get introduced to art though haahah i mean I'm thankful for it but yenno. But yeah I'm proud of the progress I've mans and I know there's a lot I can do. ( OMG that awful painting of Alex, stop hahaha)

Yeah you got it hahaha, it's so subjective and hard to express exactly what you want to say unless you put the most literal interpretation of it on the canvas 
Like they say a picture is worth 1000 words, it's because they're so much more ambiguous 

damn Y computers ( you and your "70's Camp" hahaha) you definitely need dueling banjos in your life. ( same, what a long list)

The little town does sound like the kind of place you'd get that feeling ( I can't wait to hear more about it๐Ÿ˜˜) yeah I've had it there in Cordova a little bit, that's part of why I like it hahaha. Dang that's rough, do you think you'll be able to visit again anytime soon?? It's that bad that your parents just being there put you on edge? That it's crazy, and it's too bad that it's like that, and that it prevents you from visiting
Yeah exactly! That's what I love, it's just so simple and like you said it has that 'American dream' vibe to it. And I couldn't picture some uppity mom walking in 'downtown' Cordova talking on her phone like I'm so used to seeing everywhere else. But I so see what you're talking about just that old time small town Americana feel. Yeah it's definitely not the life for me either but it certainly intrigues me, it's just so cute and peaceful to me 
You've Mentioned those talks before, and I hear you guys talk about your little Cordova things sometimes, it's pretty cute. The landfill??? (Oh no not the baseball field) I'd love to
Go back ๐Ÿ˜Š
I don't have many specific little things l like like that, and most of them have only come around recently, but you know I kinda have a connection with jinjins (and that excellent tea) the roof, I had a Lot of
Memories at red hen (coffee cat, coffee east) before it closed, I don't know, I guess that's about all I can think of in easton that really like stands out to me and I feel really fond of (there was also the 447 but that's in Cambridge, I have a lot of memories there)

I bet it is! Maybe one day I'll organize a show or something and know the feeling. You did do a really awesome job with the talent show though. ( I mean, when in Rome, you might as well just get really into extreme metal) 

That's whAt I try to do, and I mean I try to give all music a chance ( I mean some I just can't but, you know) and sometimes I can appreciate that some music is good even if I don't particularly like it, so there's always something to learn from everything. Well maybe you should give it a shot! Break out the ol' drum set when we all go back! I'm sure they have something there, but I doubt they'll have a drum set you can just use ๐Ÿ˜ž ( although they do have a kitten room so I wouldn't put it past them) ( oh yeah, I
Mean I play a lot, but it's mostly unproductive noodling) 

To be honest I think I'm too unorganized to do much management though 
( I knew you were a control freak, I just knew it haha)

thank god no more family vacation, no more crazy conservative family Christmas, man this year is good hahaha. I'm glad your trip was better than you expected. Although I still wish I could have seen you for longer before we moved apart

That's always good! You do have to read watership down and tell me wht you think!
( and yeah sorry I've taken so long to reply to this ๐Ÿ˜ž I really love these conversations but it seems every time I sit to write back I have to go do something) 

Yeah they're everywhere there's tons here at edinboro ( and so many anime kids oh my god, there's legions of animation majors who are into anime) I'm sure Goucher it teeming with them as well. I guess you just gotta live with it an hope this whole identity crisis state of mind dissolves 

Oh, okay haha. I agree completely ( obviously AA is far from flawless) maybe people should have to actively apply to reap the benefits of AA I don't know what the solution is either but your very right something needs to be repaired. I don't think it should be a prime factor in minorities getting an education, but I defiantly think there should be aid for them, as I'm sure there are added pressures that people of color have to deal with like havering to put up with discrimination from all around, I can see how that could also effect someone's ability to learn. Of course I'm not saying that there aren't just stupid people out there too, and obviously I don't think they should really be gaining from
A program like that if they aren't putting forth their part. I Agree with you completely you should be in competition with anyone else, ( like I said there's definitely something tree to be fixed) but at the same time the extra little advantage may mean a whole different life to some People. 
I don't know I'm no expert either, and am not 100% set on any thing having to do with that. It's defiantly worth a bit of reading up on

B: Yeah they're very old! Although I think the transcriptions f them in that book are more recent (you know how folk tales get passed as changed forever) but all those stories are part of their pagan religions and believes in that area

Yeah now that we've talked about it I see why you like her, I wish I brought the book with me to school. But oh well. 
Did you ever get around to finishing the destructors? ( I feel that, I hate reading books/stories off of any screen) 
The Russian ones are very similar but lots of different creatures, I think they tend to be more detailed ( at least the ones I found, but it may be because I'm comparing to a children's book of the Swedish ones ahahah)

These messages are definitely getting longer and longer 


K: I'm sorry if I have seemed negative or cynical or anything of that sort towards my school and everything in our conversations these past few days. It's been a rough few days and I haven't necessarily been in a good, positive mind-set. I think I'll feel better towards everything soon, I don't want you to think that this is how I've become or really am, so forth. Goodnight, again ๐Ÿ˜”

B: No don't be sorry. I understand, it's hard to adapt (it's been really hard for me as well, but I'm just trying to make the best and play it up in hopes that'll make it seem better hahaha) i know it'll get better for you soon, but in the mean time I'm here to listen and you can vent about it to me as much as you want. I'm sorry if I came off that way as well, poking fun and all, I won't anymore. I love you so much and I miss you, I just want you to be happy and successful and if there's anything I can do to help you, you know I'll do it 

Sweet dreams Katya 


K: (If you ever want to talk about or how you're feeling about it, don't hesitate to do so, you know I've always been willing to listen). It's not that you came off as apathetic or rude! It was mostly my paranoia that I'd be stressing you out or putting you down with my negativity ๐Ÿ˜” I think it'll get better too soon, it's been a pretty solitary week which plays a lot into it, but thank you, that really means a lot. I love you, Brad thank you for putting up with me (lmao).

B: ( I know, and thank you for that ๐Ÿ˜Š) 
Oh, okay, well you don't have to worry about that, you won't stress me out ( In fact I'd probably be less stressed if you came to me with that stuff)
I know what you mean, but once you get swinging with these classes you should be alright!
And there's no putting up, I really do care about you, I love hearing what you have to say no mater what it is. 


K: These are SO long now. It's great to see how they've evolved from 3 paragraph messages about what's shows we should see and how much open mic night sucks to these thoughtful conversations. I'm glad I can have something like this with somebody and that you could share back. It's made me very fond of you as a friend even long before we began dating. Thank you for being that somebody. 

English Literature classes are awesome! You should look into taking one sometime in your college career ๐Ÿ“š (I really wanted to use the book emoji). I have a comp class too, but I like it! I hated AP Lang & Comp in high school because Nimmo would tell me things weren't good in my writing, but she wouldn't tell me how to improve, so it was frustrating. My professor now is all for constructive criticism, which is awesome! I really hope you get as much as you can out of that class, even if academic writing seems like a bore, it's nice to see how different kinds of writing are structured, maybe you'll find that you really enjoy it!
(YES GO BRAD ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ‘ what was your paper on???)

It is! This may be a little out of ways, but that's why I find psychology very intriguing - not really for the curiosity to resolve my woes (which would be rad too) - it's finding out why and how it is that we all take different approaches to different things with similar factors. Or any variation of that, for that matter. 
College is definitely going to be an amazing growing opportunity for us and our peers. It's exciting to know that we are awarded this opportunity that doesn't necessarily seek to change us, but to help us evolve and develop our experiences and way of thinking that will in turn change us - for the better, I would hope! 
No no, I'm not saying because I don't share much I don't change, I'm saying that has stayed consistent throughout my life - THAT hasn't changed hahaha. But yes! However, I feel like it's introspective to everyone who undergoes change because it is the change in your mindset, ideals, so forth that show that. Appearance or what you put out can be different or altered by the person doing so, yenno? 

I was never fully devoted as a kid, it was more of an expectation, so veering away from the religion itself did not take a toll on me as much as my family's criticism towards my "choices" or how I would regret and repay it. That was pretty hard to deal with. 

I don't understand that! There is SO much out there that we haven't explored musically (in this case), how can one be content with what is fed to me (I'm still taken aback by this hahaha). That's true! I'm pretty glad I got into those bands the time I did (if not I'd probably be into them now or not that long ago.... ๐Ÿ˜ฌ) and it gave me enough curiosity to "explore" some more. (With 3 suite mates that know music maybe some will rub off on him??? ๐Ÿ™)

How do you fall out of swing with art? (I'm genuinely curious, I'm not trying to sound like 'oh it's just ART' I'm not like that lmao). 
I can imagine how cool and new that would be coming from a school where the art pool is very VERY limited (i.e 4 exceptional students)! Try befriending the art professors even if you don't have them! You may get some studio space, pointers, who knows. That's something I've noticed here: professors are pretty open to hanging out with students and getting to know them outside a classroom setting or just being able to help in whatever way possible even if they aren't in their class. It's comforting to know! 
Hmmmmm being in a pool of new people who (I assume) that the same motivation to succeed and grow as I do, being exposed to a larger group of people with similar interests due to the very specific course you can take and Baltimore/DC man. 

Well I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in good health now considering I stopped those habits, but thanks! I'm slowly, but surely going back to how I use to take care of myself! (You can try in college with the limited meals and all the walking hahahah). 
You are really too sweet and it's comforting to know that you can look past an exterior like that and see so much more, thank you ๐Ÿ˜Œ 

You're English class will have a lot of writing assignments for sure, so those can develop your style as annoying as those assignments can be. Maybe start a blog (for yourself?), that's how I started writing for fun even more (not spot [an actual BLOG lmao]). 

Yes! It always comes back to the process of things (in anything [such as: you in your artwork, me in my....whatever it is I do lmao]) and it further shows how even all the little things in the middle count because it is what you're exposed to in the majority of the time you're focused on something and it is where what you can really get out of it lies. That's both awesome and unnerving. 

I guess it is like a stream of conscience! But more like a lot entwined and looking for a relief outlet at the same time hahaha. My personal writing does tend to be like that because I spill everything while writing it as I do verbally, so I feel like it's all jumbled because it does jump from topic to topic. The thing is, it always makes sense in my head, so it flows together, but as soon as it leaves my head it's all confusing. Maybe it doesn't sound confusing to someone else, who knows! I'm glad you enjoy that weird quality about me ๐Ÿ˜Š

I really enjoyed it and still to this day! I have kept a diary and a blogspot every year to document my thoughts and life, but I never really keep up with them. Especially blogs, they're frustrating, I like physically writing more! Yet I started a blogspot the other day though where I've written about college, so yes I still do keep a "diary" hahaha.

I definitely will! That always happens to me! It'll take me a couple listens to a record to start matching names up to the songs, but once I do, it's like the most satisfying feeling ever. You should totally read some, once you do you'll know what I mean! Well the ones I mentioned by Kurt Vonnegut are novels hahaha, I've never actually read his short stories. You should check out the speech "wear sunscreen" (it was remixed into a song in the 90s, you'll find it on YouTube), and it's rumored that Vonnegut gave that speech at a graduation, it's pretty cool, not satirical, but worth a try!   

"That much" hahaha. Of course! to be honest, I never really cared what we did and where we did it, as long as we could be together some time, it was all good ๐Ÿ’• I know we saw each other a lot this summer and we tended to do a lot of the same things over and over, (our options WERE limited) but it was wonderful! I look forward to it and hearing all about your days at college ๐Ÿ˜Š

Yes! It fell forward and hit the concrete steps and just shattered completely, it was mayhem man! That sounds absolutely lovely, do you find yourself doing that still?  I've never understood why thunderstorms are as intriguing as they are, but they just give me such joy, I hope to share that experience with you ❤️๐Ÿ˜Œ

The author of the book actually had a speech here during orientation week and I got to go! I got to hear the background story to it (he wrote it before 9/11 and once 9/11 happened he changed the tone of the book and parts of it to what it has become today!). Yes! it's sort of an escape, if you will. You get to be someone else for that moment and like you said see things in their way and see how and why they do what they do. It's not actually, I thought it was at first, BUT he based the character very loosely on some of his experiences (going to Princeton, being Paki, etc). 

(Winter break, maybe!!). I plan on doing so! I've never actually done that with any book before, so we'll see how it goes! I'll also see which one is easier to follow, because I remember struggling to keep up with the version I read. 
Nope! I've never seen the movie and I've always meant to bc Kubrick is an awesome director so I figured if the original storyline is good and the director is good too, than the film must be ๐Ÿ˜ฑ. I don't think he has either hahaha he has this weird infatuation with the whole "Lolita aesthetic" it's pretty funny and fitting. 
That makes sense and it's productive! (Well they both are depending on how you define productive...they both are in their own way). How do you feel when you're drawing? Is it like a freeing experience where you get lost in it (because I know you've told me you get very into painting and I was intrigued by how you explained it and what you were saying), or your thought process and such ๐Ÿ˜Œ Ive always wondered that.

What kind of new interests have you recently discovered? You're right! And I'm sure that you'll find even more in college, like you said it's a good time to be exposed to different kinds of things that could peak your curiosity. My hope is to not only find new interests, but also to develop those that I already have and hopes to make something worthwhile from them. I have a good feeling about things. 

(Oh shit that is a time-crunch...). Perhaps in the future! I wish her the best ๐Ÿ˜Œ 
How are your art classes at Edinboro going!?

Oh ok! So it's the artwork that we tend to see more often, sometimes on a day-to-day basis, nice! That's the kind of stuff that graphic designers tend to do as well, right? (true, that would be pretty strange, but they DO have those socks with the famous paintings on them now [ART SOCKS], just a fun fact lmao []). 
Awesome! How does one usually go about putting their work "out there"? (Say in a gallery or any other way?)
Well I'm not planning on going back there to work hahaha, so now I guess he's an *aquaintence*. 

It's definitely not usually what you hear, but that's what makes it interesting and intriguing! (more so than "oh I took an art class in school" lmao) 
(Can I please have it for my dorm??? ๐Ÿ˜) 

That's some philosophy you got going on there, I love it ๐Ÿ˜ฎ 
It's interesting how people have different organic modes of expressing their thoughts and feelings; such as painting and other forms of art, dancing, or even a writer who's feelings get projected in words themselves, yet have some much unexplained and hidden meaning. 

Yes, it's pretty scary, I don't think I'm willing to find out how bad it is exactly ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ Even if I could go, I don't think I would. I did enjoy visiting Mexico as a kid, but as I grew older it lost the charm I used to feel. It's a different way of life there and I just couldn't enjoy it or myself ๐Ÿ˜” Maybe I'll visit in the future, who knows!

(I meant to tell you about it in person when we saw each other, but there was so many other things I was thinking about and trying to make the best out of that day, that it completely slipped my mind!). You did mention that before and I'm thrilled that you've been able to catch a glimpse of the dreaminess there is to spending time there ✨ It's slightly like an escape, if you will. 
At Chapel every year we would have to take a field trip to the landfill in order to promote "green" awareness and habits by learning how much trash complies in landfills (even our local one) (and because TCPS was too cheap to take us elsewhere lmaooo). Anyways, everyone dreaded this field trip every year (like the Pickering Creek field trips), but looking back at it it's one of those stupid things that reminds you of growing up and it becomes a fond memory ☺️ Ok! We'll make some popular-Cordova stops sometime in the future ๐Ÿ’• 
Even if they happened recently they're still worthwhile! I have a lot of recent things I've grown find of, most being those that you've mentioned (except the 447, which I like to hear from from you, it's nice to see you reminisce the way you do when you talk about those Open Mics). Especially since we've all become close friends and I've been close with you. (Jin Jins tea ๐Ÿ˜ let me get some this weekend and drink enough for the both of us). 

Maybe! It's a good chaos you should experience at least once! Thank you ๐Ÿ’• The best part was my performance: Katya ft. 3 irrelevant people. (I mean why not??? I'll give it a shot ๐Ÿ˜ [I'm not joking]).

That's a good way to go about things ๐Ÿ˜Œ Sometimes it's better to try to see and understand why it is that someone enjoys what they do, whether it be music or anything else, than to reject the idea or criticize it, yenno? (This is something I've been working on myself as a way to be even more open-minded, because lord knows I'm guilty of blatant criticism ๐Ÿ˜ณ). 
I've investigated this whole instrument and music room situation and the only way I can get access to either or both is by taking lessons and I'd have to pay for those (maybe I'll ask for lessons for Christmas or something, I could benefit from learning a new instrument). 
(It's a PUPPY room, BRADLEY).
(Unproductive noodling works the musical muscle, which can later benefit you if you're working a musical goal ๐Ÿ˜Š [such as a song for a band you may be in, etc...]). 

I had to really focus and work hard to become the mostly-organized person that I am today (yet I still can't "find time" to clean my room sometimes lmaooo) (why did that make me laugh so much hahahah, oh my what made you think that?). 

✨✨ 2014 is your year to shine, Bradley Milligan ✨✨
I loved it! It was a well needed trip to reestablish (and establish) some relationships. It was healthy.
Me too, but we have to keep moving and looking forward to those times that we WILL see each other (a month in the winter!! ❄️⛄️๐Ÿ’•). It'll all be ok! 

I've been trying to read it when I get a break from classes and school work, but when I finish it (whenever that may be ๐Ÿ˜…), let's talk about it! 
It's ok, I understand (especially now with school going on). It's always nice when they come in by surprise ๐Ÿ˜Œ I love these conversations as well ๐Ÿ’“ they've been one of my favorite things this year and that I've partaken in. ๐Ÿ˜ณ for why. Is your roommate one of those animations majors? hahaha. (Sike what if you get to know him and he's actually a really cool guy maybe). 
Prays for all the unidentified bodies find their corresponding identity ๐Ÿ™ 

It's definitely true that there are added pressures to minorities, I understand and agree with you that there should be some aid given. It's a tricky situation and sort of a double-ended sword because one good thing can emerge, but there's always a weird part to that and vice versa. As for now my standing on it is that it should be there, like you said it does make a difference to many, so why take that from someone who can benefit? But there's a lot of weirdness to it. I'll look into it more! It's an interesting subject! 

(Yes! You never really know the original one because everyone adds their little flare too it, it's so cool!). 
I remember you mentioning before that you knew a little about some pagan religions (I hope I'm not mistaken ๐Ÿ˜•), do you know about the religions that coincide with these stories? Which ones do you know of?
Yeah that could be it lmaoooo. Maybe you just need to get a children's book of Russian Folk Tales to really have an unbiased comparison of the two. 

Aw it would've been nice if you did! Reading some of those stories would be a nice light-hearted reliever from the stress of your work and school in general! At least that's how I saw it from being around my loud family for that whole month that I had it hahaha. 
I actually DID start reading it, but from my phone while I was away and I just for frustrated so I stopped ๐Ÿ˜” I'll see if the library has a copy, if not I'll give the computer a shot! But there's no doubt I'm going to read it ๐Ÿ˜Š 


B: sorry I dozed off, but goodnight, I love you so
Much, and thank you ๐Ÿ’•

K: Good morning ๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŒž 

it's ok I knocked right out as well
I don't know how to thank you for listening to everything I had to say last night, it really meant a lot to me that you could listen to all of that. It really did make my night so much better seeing and hearing you, thank you thank you thank you ๐Ÿ’• I love you so much, Bradley Milligan 

B: Good morning๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

You're so welcome, thank you for sharing with me, Kat. It really does give me so much piece of mind to know that you can talk to me. And you know I'd do anything to help you. I love you more than anything ☺️thank you Katya