It's Thursday night and I'm eagerly packing clothes and toiletries in my "The Fresh Market" bag, my schoolwork in my backpack and cleaning my bedroom. A swarm of ants scatters when I open my window and my heart cops a little and a knot forms in my throat. I spend the next hour and a half killing ants with perfume and plant spray and cleaning my room to leave it in perfection for the weekend ahead.

It's early Friday morning and I'm heading out to smoke a cigarette and grab some breakfast. "We're 10-15 minutes away" reads a text from Kaitlyn. I turn around to my bedroom, hang my backpack on, grab my canvas bag, struggle with a case of water and head outside. Scott sees me struggling and walks over taking the case from me. I greet everyone happily and they return the gesture. A quick pee, some unpacking and we're on our way.

The rainy and foggy 7-hour ride is filled with talks about Goucher, my academics, different kinds of breasts, bets of how messy your room is, how many items are hanging in your closet and the beautiful autumn-infested scenery of hilly Pennsylvania. It is beautiful drive up to see the most beautiful aspect of my life, thus far.

We arrive in Edinboro, a two-stoplight town that looks like something out of an eery movie. The most commercial and thriving area is the Walmart in the outskirts of town. The school is slightly less depressing. A large campus of brick and surrounded by cornfields. It's funny Bradley, you wished so much to leave Easton because of its location and lack of activities, but Edinboro is so much more still than Easton will ever be.

Scott, Kaitlyn and I step out of the car and walk towards Bradley's dorm building. Walking out is the most lovely boy I've ever met in my life. Light brown hair swept to fall over his eye, his ensemble of skinny, yet strangely baggy black jeans and paisley shirt, his slouched position and dorky smile greet me ahead, walking towards towards us. I try my best to not drop the two grocery bags in my hands and attack him, falling on the ground and smothering him in pent up love, kisses and lovely words from the bottom of my heart. "We bear gifts from lands beyond... Wal-Mart!" I say with an inviting, toothy smile, motioning towards the bags. Two bodies radiating love and joy stand before one another, it's been two months since we'd seen each other, not counting August 19th, the day I returned from California. The day before we both parted. We share a strong, beautiful kiss that reads "I've missed you." I whisper it in your ear anyways. You lightly set your fingers on the small of my back, then hold my hand as we follow you to your dorm. Off white cement walls, grey office-like carpet, a small bed, desk, drawers, and window on either side of the room, asymmetrically. The small joining room contains the toilet closet, the shower closet, two grimy sinks, a small counter, fridge and cupboards. 10 things hanging in the closet, which means Barbara won the bet, beating Scott with his 5, Kaitlyn with 15 and me with...3, what little faith I had, oh my.

We spend the evening in Erie where we visit Spirit Halloween joking about ridiculous costumes and making suggestive, sexual innuendos, similar to the ones Kaitlyn spat out all weekend making everything incredibly awkward for everyone in the car. At the mall next door we get a Starbucks seasonal drink for the basic white (freezing) girl in both of us. I sit Bradley down in the middle of the book store and read him an erotic novel of two Scottish protagonists who just fuck each other for 408 pages. My kind of read. FYE is around the corner, where we spend a long time looking through CD's teaching and learning from each other about what we know and bonding over our mutual interests and later musing over puppies up for a adoption. All they wanted was some love and time to play (we have a lot in common). After leaving the mall, we ate hot Krispy Kreme donuts, had dinner at Texas Roadhouse and headed back to Edinboro to drop Bradley and I off at his school.

I see his common living area and quietly encounter his hall mates, muttering hello, followed by a quick half wave. Once in his room, I started changing into my shorts and flannel to lay in bed. Before buttoning my second button, he walks towards me, taking me into his arms. I bury my head into his chest, something that fills me with joy and provides so much comfort. He leads me to the bed where months of pent up lust and love were expressed passionately. We lie in bed both satisfied and in each other arms. I lightly nudge Bradley, who's falling asleep, to not fall asleep, I wanted to spend as much time as I could kissing and talking to him. His eyes looked glazed and his stare was empty, he said his stomach hurt as he sunk into his pillow. I kiss his cheek, made him some warm tea and rubbed his back, hoping he felt better soon. It killed me to see him like this. Shortly after, he runs to the bathroom and pukes 4 or 5 times. It sounded brutal. Wiping his mouth and gargling mouth wash, he states in a lively, suggestive voice "I feel SO much better and could go for round two". Pushing me on the bed, we do. (Side note: looking into a guys eyes during a blow job DOES make the experience hotter. It was the first time I heard pleasured "oh....YEAH"'s, and the usual moans and eyes rolled to the back of his head [which makes me throb so hard, btw]. God, I love sucking his dick. [I'm trying so hard not to type "hahahah" after everything]. Side side note: Getting eaten out is one of my favorite things, but when you've had it constantly for months and then go without, you learn to appreciate and take in details from those now rare moments. That being said, boy can that boy work his tongue. Those flicks he kisses me with, foreshadowing what's to come [in both departments] drive me insane.) The next morning and Sunday morning are harder to feel each other out (or up...) because of his easily-awoken roommate. On my escape to his land down-under for a morning wake-up call, his roommate peeks his head over, where we both meet eyes. I can't stop myself from laughing, so with head buried into the bed, I howl. Morning consisted of light sex, sensual touches and loving kiss accompanied by words to match.

Saturday we spent the morning and afternoon at the school checking out the different booths where clubs sold their artwork and provided their services. I purchased a beautiful handmade clay necklace with a emerald glass center, free food, and a nice date in town with Bradley where we checked out a hippie shop not much unlike Tammy's Cool Things, an antique store where Bradley got me a copy of Ummagumma (which I have to wait for until Christmas...) and a cup of coffee from one of his favorite breakfast joints, Flips. The thrifting adventure continue throughout the day afternoon leading us to a town away. It is the kind of town you stumble upon, not the one you have intentions of going to because of it's lack of...life. In Erie, I experienced what it's like to watch a movie with Bradley without having sex...very...new. His grips tightens around my hand, his heart races, his feet kick and he sinks his head into his chest or into my arms. Bradley Milligan, scared shitless (hahahaha). The ride back home resulted in what Kaitlyn now recalls as "you and Bradley caused my PTSD from hitting me and scaring me with picture of dolls".

It is slightly before midnight and we're back in his bedroom. Hot tea warms and soothes my cold body. Bradley takes a spot in bed and makes himself comfortable, as if preparing to go to sleep. He is, and I must admit, I was bummed we didn't have sex. Sipping some more tea, I nuzzle into his arms, feeling waves of sleep wash over me, making me heavy. I let out a peaceful sigh.

It is 4 in the morning and we've both waken up from a short sleep. A strong, but gentle hand brush over my vagina, sending a light wave of pleasure through my body. Taking off my skirt and tights, that pleasured is mirrored on his body as I do the same. Sleep overcomes my lust and I intertwine my body with his.

Sunday morning, this morning, we showered together. An experience I learned to love from our first and only time so far back on that August day. The hot water and his soapy, easy touch gliding all over my body and mine over his is incomparable. I get on my knees and give him one last oral tug before we part ways again.

Breakfast, he doesn't eat much, just a small plate of hash brown - potato flips - and I eat too much, a spicy sausage omelet with chipotle sauce, my my.

In front of your down we kiss and hug. I wish I could have hugged him tighter, kissed him stronger, for just a little longer.

The drive back is a little less beautiful and the time ahead will be harder now that I've had him and I know what it is like to miss the one person who makes you purely happy. Drowning in tears and soaking my pillow I'm counting down to the next time I see him.

I love you Bradley.