Monday, August 25, 2014

Pages upon pages and paranoia

Today was my first day of classes. Needless to say, I probably shouldn't spend a lot of time on this considering I already have an essay, 2 chapter and a couple other assignments due. My English professor Charlee Smalls seems like a wonderful woman, I look forward with learning with her the rest of this semester (my class happens to be all girls). Joan Wilterdink, my Psychology professor is a very peppy and corny woman, but it's great that way because it seems that she's very easy-going, so she doesn't intimidate me much. My Screenwriting and Adaptations professor is Bill O'Ren, who also happens to be my advisor, is a screenwriter out in L.A with access to all these cool screenplays such as Mud and Moonrise Kingdom! I look forward to that class most of all (that is my MWF classes).

Meal times were better this time; they weren't as crowded and it seemed more of a norm to eat alone. It's weird sitting in a cafe or cafeteria setting after spending junior and senior year hiding away at the library for lunches. I can't do that here since the dining hall is my more cost-effective and convenient way of...well..eating.

I think college will become easier once I have a friend or at least someone to talk to and spend some time with. I feel pretty alone. I've always been ok with solitude, especially growing up in a large, loud family, but after making some very close friendships and a tight-knit group this past year, I feel like I've been ripped away from all of that to be placed somewhere where I'm suppose to thrive academically and socially, but who knows if that'll happen. The fear of solitude is pushing me to an edge. I really do miss everyone back home and Bradley, especially after FaceTiming him for the little time that I did tonight. I fear that I'll miss him so much, it'll start to affect me because this is exactly what I didn't want to happen.

The paranoia of everything is washing over me. I don't want to repeat junior year.

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